To have had enough of family congratulating DC achievements

[Snarkysparky]

DP is from a big family, lots of nieces and nephews and all close and nice

However, they are quite competitive and lots of the children excel in sports. The what’s app group is an endless stream of ‘well done Tom and team for coming first in u14 schools rugby’ etc etc. The DC are not on this WhatsApp group but the aunts and uncles all pile in with ‘well done Tom’ Why, I don’t know as Tom can’t see the messages.
It’s also focused on one or two all the time

AIBU to think we really don’t need to be kept updated on our nieces and nephews sporting achievements (county good, not nationally good) and this is just parents stealth boasting
Or is this just a way of families keeping each other updated with ‘the news’ I was taught not boast so this is all a bit alien to me

‘ Mine included and decent at sport and v good at music’

The time will come when you can post a video of your kids playing music, maybe a Happy Birthday greeting to someone in the group, Christmas Carol for everyone.

Try it, everyone will enjoy it.

Same issue in my family OP that the praise is focused on one or two nieces and nephews and others are left out.

My in-laws are very sporty and pile on the praise for two sporty kids and the others get nothing. Even though they excel in other areas or work so hard at their sport but don't achieve the same level. The kids must be aware of it and it's so sad. No idea why they do it. Mine are too young to play sport so they get no praise and me and DH have totally given up posting!

Sometimes it's just nice to be happy for other people's successes. It's one of the more difficult things to do in life, but I think it makes you a better human being.

I am from a background of not being boastful or rubbing your successes in others face

What a bizarre way to look at it.
If my BiL or SiL puts in the family WhatsApp group that dn have just passed his Grade one drum exam with merit. I would be delighted for him. I can't believe that someone sharing some nice (and exiting for them) news with their parents and siblings would ever be perceived as "rubbing your successes in someone's face". What an odd relationship you must have with your wider family. I am genuinely pleased when something nice happens to one of my dns or when one of them achieve something - at whatever level they are at.

Sometimes it's just nice to be happy for other people's successes

But when it is your loved ones, surely that is 'always' , and just normal ?

@Snarkysparky
I kind of understand why you are a bit irritated by this

It doesn't sound that you don't want to celebrate good news for your nieces and nephews but that you feel it is competitive parenting & constant stealth boasting that might feel like it's getting a bit much and a bit exhausting if it's constant

It sounds like you're measured and letting your DCs be themselves and sensitive how it might come across as it can affect children when parents get competitive

I'd mute the chat if I were you but then it might seem obvious you aren't replying

So maybe mute the chat and when you are in good mood add a "Well done"

Parents like to positively encourage DCs and that great- as long as it doesn't put pressure on them and they can feel free to fail sometimes which is important to learn as well that it's ok too

Playing sports at county level is a big achievement

I don't know how you will deal with this, but hopefully you'll find a strategy to celebrate but not feel you have to change your parenting style or let it affect your own DCs confidence

My DCs are very academic and two are sporty. I'm very sensitive to the audience it's going to in how I say they've done well as there's a fine line between celebrating achievements and constantly boasting insensitively

I suspect it's about quantity and relentlessness of the boasting that feels competitive, rather than OP not being happy for her niece and nephews

Anyway that's how I read OPs post