AIBU to be crap at decluttering?!

[Starryskiesinthesky]

I am trying to declutter but there are so many things I don't know what to do with. What do you do with boxes for things like jewellery that you use? Mugs that you bought that your children could use when they get a flat? Games that you loved and might play once a year? Books that you will read when you retire? Clothes that you love and wear on holidays abroad but only go abroad once every 5 years ...that kinda thing...

Do you want to de clutter or just feel obliged to? I wouldn’t keep things like mugs that my children may want in a flat or boxes etc
Live your life in the now and not in the maybe.
You need to have a ruthless mindset.

God no to random stuff someone might want off in the future. Know what you mean about snorkel or some such that you may only use once a decade though!

Cet rid of them!

Jewellery boxes - will you ever use them again?
Mugs - Im sure your DC will happily choose their own
Games - keep favourites only and only if they get used
Books - set yourself a goal to read one a month and gradually let them go. Any that you pick up to read and don't fancy it...give away

Mugs - they go. Adults want to choose their own.
Games - how many are we talking? Ask your children to choose 3 to keep.
Holiday clothes - keep in your suitcase.
individual jewellery boxes - no. Get yourself a proper jewellery box.

Remember the attachment is mostly emotional, not practical. Take photos of stuff before discarding, if the stuff gives you good memories but is actually causing clutter!

How long to go til retirement? If 5 years or less, keep. If longer, say you will read a book a month. If you have not read any after 6 months, start donating a few every so often. Tastes change. You may like a different genre when you retire. I always loved sagas, but now I prefer crime fiction.

I go on hols once every 3 years and have a wardrobe of clothes for this. We rarely get the weather here for sundresses etc. Keep enough to see you through a holiday, and donate the rest. Our shape changes as we get older eg wider back even if we diet and exercise. I try on the summer clothes every year and donate ones which do not fit well. I keep all itens which are free flowing/flattering as it is time consuming searching for nice clothes.

Re mugs for dcs flats, are dcs likely to get flats in the next 2 or 3 years? If so, keep a few matching mugs. Otherwise donate. Dcs may prefer to go and buy a matching set for flats. I kerp about 6 spares in case 10 people call to visit at once/for breakages. No need to keep 20 mugs.

Loft, but if I find I haven’t used or worn the clothes they be decluttered when I next go up there!

I hear you and I struggle with this too

But there comes a pint when this clutter - saving it for later- becomes a problem as it is taking over your house and interferes in your enjoyment of your home and your life

So find someone who is RUTHLESS and ask them to help you declutter

You'll fight for what is important and let go of the stuff that isn't

Me too.
It's too hard so I don't do it!!

I can't declutter at all and have DCs who save the most awful rubbish! Fast as I clear out my DCs fill up!!
Part of my problem is sudden bereavements so I can't let go

But if you start decluttering , please join me as I'm doing it small steps - "that will benefit someone else (charity) , I don't need it, I can throw it... I can let it go.."

Sometimes it’s helpful to think about what would the cost of actually having to buy the thing again if you throw it out and find you need it later. Mugs for your children’s future homes… they probably won’t want them, if they are desperate for mugs you can pick a couple cheaply in a charity shop. It’s not worth the cupboard space you’re losing now to keep them

Get a skip and chuxk it all out.

boxes for things like jewellery that you use? ... Chuck them away. And out jewellery in one big box.

Mugs that you bought that your children could use when they get a flat? Chuck them away. Your kids can buy mugs for 20p a go from a charity shop when they need them.

Games that you loved and might play once a year? On a book shelf.

Books that you will read when you retire? Get rid of them and buy them again when you do want to read them.

Clothes that you love and wear on holidays abroad but only go abroad once every 5 years get rid of them.

Divide your stuff up

Sentimental stuff, pair it down

Jewellery doesn't take up much room don't throw

Clothes you may wear again, but wear once every 3-5 years select your favourites and vacuum pack and store in loft

Board games you no longer play, select out 4 and pass on the rest

Mugs no don't save. Unless DCs are getting a flat in next year, just don't save them..,it's crap you don't need and they can buy even in a charity shop for 50p each!

Boxes for jewellery share those out one each, maybe a second one if they can fill it up-if not throw them

Books? I can't throw books
Unless chick lit unimportant then I can pass into charity
Save 10 chick lits throw the rest

If you haven't read those yet they can go

Don't every throw poetry or other books that's blasphemy

You need the container concept

To be fair I have over 700 books and I have to get rid of a lot as will be moving house

So I'll be going to donate a lot to library ...

Marie Kondo book has great techniques. Once you get started, it becomes easier

Not sure if it's an option for you but how about sticking stuff you're not sure about in a box in a shed? If you realise after a period of time you don't miss them, then get rid? Like a 'holding area'? 😅

OP I can totally relate!! I'm trying to declutter but I struggle with emotional attachment to things. I thought I was the only one to have jewellery boxes 🙈 I have a big jewellery box with lots of stuff in but I also have lots of jewellery in individual boxes and I can't bring myself to chuck the little boxes and put everything in one place - what is wrong with me??

I am also sinking under birthday and Christmas cards. I can't throw them out as what if the person dies and I never get another card with their writing in.

My house is tidy as everything is stuffed in cupboards and drawers but I feel weighed down by it all.

It's either ruthless or don't bother. Like someone said- mugs are cheap and can be bought easily- and how long until kids may need them? Do they even want them? If so/ pack up in a box and keep but don't have. Yearly board games- keep one or two. No point keeping anymore. Boxes- you don't need them. I have a crap tonne of clutter- I mentally have not reached the feck and get it all gone stage yet- but I'm trying to. You don't need 3000 coloured pens/ pencils/ toys and yet both me and child seem to think there is. I think you're either 'there' and can do it, or you're not.

I recommend two resources op:

The book "Decluttering at the Speed of Life" by Dana K White

And the You Tube videos "Nourishing Minimalism".
They are not about minimalism in its purest sense, but contain very sensible, down to earth and practical advice from a mother of six.

That was a great youtube video.

It can seem overwhelming but there is a lovely decluttering thread on here which I joined late last year - the premiss was that you got rid of one thing a day - it really works as you just pick a small area and focus on that. Come over and join us.

As far as the things you mention are concerned:

surplus mugs go to the charity shop - DC can choose/pay for their own or buy from charity shop/Ikea. I have a dozen mug hooks under the kitchen cupboards and that's the mugs I have and use. I have also allocated DC one shelf for any sentimental mugs plus water bottles and travel cups - what doesn't fit goes out.
jewellery - buy a load of small organza bags (like the ones for wedding favours) - you can get 100 for a fiver on Amazon. Each piece of jewellery gets its own bag and then it is all stored in one big box. The organza is semi transparent so you can see what's inside without having to take it out. (The exception would be any really valuable pieces you might want to sell one day or any antique pieces that have their original box.)
games get them all in a pile and go through as a family - my DC had very clear ideas of what they would and wouldn't play and half of the games they liked only required a pack of cards. I allocated a shelf in a cupboard to games so what didn't fit and wasn't popular went to the charity shop.
books - if its popular fiction/non fiction then get a kindle and download them all on there. Donate books to library or charity shop. I am less good here as I own a couple of thousand books but most are academic and not available on a kindle.
holiday clothes store in suitcase - my nanny used to do this - as soon as she got back from the airport everything went in the wash and two days later her suitcase was all packed and ready for next time. The suitcase can go in the loft until its needed. Same applies to equipment that is only used on holiday - clean it, pack it up properly and put it in the loft.

I found that after a month or so when I began decluttering a new area a lot of the things i was keeping already had a specific home and that made decision making so much easier.

Life is so much Easier when you do get on top of it

I'm definitely a hoarder of books and have thousands.Our bedrooms even have book shelves and basically every room except the bathrooms have books. At work not very many people are readers and we've started book swap areas across all the sites. I've donated several hundred books in this way and it really is satisfying to hear people say they've read for the first time in decades.
Our store man has become obsessed with Peter James crime novels and he hadn't read a book since he was at school.

Ive been heading towards minimalism for 10 months now and it really is so much easier to keep the home clean and tiday and also my life is much more simpler with fewer decisions and fewer things making me feel bad (e.g. opening a wardrobe and seeing clothes I dont like but feeling guilty cos I spent money on them)

Joshua Becker's videos on youtube are great imo