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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School refusing leave of absence for DD - WWYD?

40 replies

Catkitkat · 08/02/2022 18:13

DD just auditioned for something really special within her field of interest, there were four rounds of auditions and she gained a place, the success ratio is approximately 1/12 so this is a huge deal for her. She needs three days off school for this.

This performance has an outreach aspect as they perform in special needs schools etc - they are an official provider for the Duke of Edinburgh award (DD is still too young to benefit from this particular aspect but just to give you an idea).

I’ve tried to reach the school since two months now to ask for permission but no response to any of my four emails + 1 phone call. She needs written permission to perform so I have no other options, I couldn’t call her in sick on those days even if I wanted to.

I don’t have any right to a reply do I? Or can I request that they respond and either decline or accept this? It feels so desperately sad to have DD miss out on something she has worked so hard for, it’s even worse when her school can’t even be bothered to reply.

OP posts:
student26 · 08/02/2022 18:15

Have you tried going into school to ask for this? I’ve no idea why they wouldn’t reply, it wouldn’t hurt them to say yes or no either way. Good luck to your DD.

2reefsin30knots · 08/02/2022 18:16

Go and wait at the office for a response. I'd not let my DC miss out on something like this just because the school are busy.

MamaTutu2 · 08/02/2022 18:16

@Catkitkat Go into the office and ask to talk to the head or the attendance officer?

neverbeenskiing · 08/02/2022 18:17

I work in a school and I think you do have a right to expect someone to reply to you, within a reasonable timeframe, about your request. Can you call the school switchboard and explain to the receptionist that you've emailed repeatedly and had no response so can they please put you in touch with the right person?

GirlInACountrySong · 08/02/2022 18:17

when is it?

2reefsin30knots · 08/02/2022 18:18

They can mark her as educated off site for this so it won't even affect their attendance.

superram · 08/02/2022 18:18

I have worked in 5 schools and all would have been completely supportive of this. It doesn’t affect attendance as their are codes for this. There is no reason at all why she couldn’t go. Ring up tomorrow and speak to head of year, say you’d like a meeting but someone could knock this out in 10 mins I’m headed paper and stamped by the school.

Eightiesfan · 08/02/2022 18:33

She should get permission for this. At our school we have a couple of lads taking part in West End productions which is more than a few days off school. It’s the same for the ones who play sports at a high level, I don’t recall any of them being refused permission.

WorriedGiraffe · 08/02/2022 18:36

Go into the office or pick up the phone! Explain its off site education and you need a letter with permission, I’d say you do have a right to a reply to be honest. If it’s important to your child you need to be assertive and insist on it.

Original poster
Catkitkat · 08/02/2022 19:28

Thanks everyone, reading your replies it sounds like this shouldn’t really be a problem. I have called them, they won’t put my call through to anyone as they only communicate via email. They still don’t allow parents in the school due to covid, this doesn’t really correspond to any current restrictions which I am aware of but what can you do.

Our next plan was for DH to grab the deputy head later this week, he drops of DD on his way to work once a week, and usually sees her a the door.

Thanks for being a sounding board, very helpful!

OP posts:
fabulousathome · 08/02/2022 19:33

Try it the old fasioned way.

Send a recorded delivery letter (you will need to do this via a Post Office) requesting permission to the Head Teacher by name. They will have to sign for it and you will be sure it has been received.

Include a stamped addressed envelope for them to put their reply in.

Original poster
Catkitkat · 08/02/2022 19:38

@fabulousathome

Try it the old fasioned way.

Send a recorded delivery letter (you will need to do this via a Post Office) requesting permission to the Head Teacher by name. They will have to sign for it and you will be sure it has been received.

Include a stamped addressed envelope for them to put their reply in.

Not a bad idea! Thank you
OP posts:
Comefromaway · 08/02/2022 19:38

You can probably bypass the school completely.

Apply for a Child in In Entertainment Performance licence from your local authority. They will contact the school but the head legally cannot unreasonably withhold permission. Reasonable would be missing sats or GCSEs. Unreasonable would be not keeping up with work or already had time off sick.

The Education Welfare Officer can and will over rule the school. If they don’t, then message and I’ll try and find a legal template letter a friend used.

Comefromaway · 08/02/2022 19:40

Really the licence should be applied for by the people organising the performance and they should be well versed in this.

Cap89 · 08/02/2022 19:46

Who are you emailing? Not sure what age we’re talking, but if it’s just the head of year/ class teacher I’d start copying in more senior staff and do the whole ‘I’ve copied in x as this is now my fifth email without a response’. Usually puts the wind up people. Equally, if you’re emailing the head directly, that’s not the most efficient way. When I was a teacher our head got hundreds of emails a day and could take ages to get back to people. It was always better to go to someone more directly involved in the child’s day to day if possible. And then maybe try to grab the head in person if you can.

Comefromaway · 08/02/2022 20:07

Can I just reiterate that for ANY performance that requires time off school you do have to go via the local authority education welfare officer.

bakebeans · 08/02/2022 20:10

Some schools request that you fill in a form not send an email. This was the case at my daughters school. It may be better if you pop in

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 08/02/2022 20:16

@fabulousathome

Try it the old fasioned way.

Send a recorded delivery letter (you will need to do this via a Post Office) requesting permission to the Head Teacher by name. They will have to sign for it and you will be sure it has been received.

Include a stamped addressed envelope for them to put their reply in.

As far as aware no one has signed for letters for nearly 2 years. I can't see that happening

Have you found out how non negotiable the letter is?

WonderfulYou · 08/02/2022 20:19

Who are you emailing?
Could you email someone else like the class teacher or head?

Unfortunately so many emails get sent to the main reception desk that anything that isn’t urgent gets put to the bottom of the pile.
There’s also been lots of staff off with covid so it could easily be a temp.

dontdivorceoverchacha · 08/02/2022 20:32

I worked in a school. There should be a form on the website. You have a timeframe to give notice that your daughter will be absent with authorisation. Something like this the school will love. Extra curricular, well rounded, good promotion for themselves, they are (and should be) supportive blah blah. They can't not authorise I would be very surprised if they didn't tbh. Only communicate by email is lazy. Add that to your feedback...😂

itsgettingweird · 08/02/2022 20:46

Yea there is a code for this.

My ds competes at a national level sport and gets days off authorised.

If you aren't getting anywhere email an address from the website and copy in chair of governors.

Make sure it's factual, state the 5 times and dates you've requested before. I'd even go as far as saying if you don't get a response within 5 school days you'll escalate to a complaint.

Ignoring you (provided you're 100% sure you have the right email address!) is actually just plain rude!

Original poster
Catkitkat · 08/02/2022 20:52

@Cap89

Who are you emailing? Not sure what age we’re talking, but if it’s just the head of year/ class teacher I’d start copying in more senior staff and do the whole ‘I’ve copied in x as this is now my fifth email without a response’. Usually puts the wind up people. Equally, if you’re emailing the head directly, that’s not the most efficient way. When I was a teacher our head got hundreds of emails a day and could take ages to get back to people. It was always better to go to someone more directly involved in the child’s day to day if possible. And then maybe try to grab the head in person if you can.
At this school, all emails go to a general address and they then forward to the head teacher. I don’t have any other email addresses, she only just started year 7 so we still feel new to the school
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Original poster
Catkitkat · 08/02/2022 20:54

@itsgettingweird

Yea there is a code for this.

My ds competes at a national level sport and gets days off authorised.

If you aren't getting anywhere email an address from the website and copy in chair of governors.

Make sure it's factual, state the 5 times and dates you've requested before. I'd even go as far as saying if you don't get a response within 5 school days you'll escalate to a complaint.

Ignoring you (provided you're 100% sure you have the right email address!) is actually just plain rude!

Thanks! Definitely the next step if we get nowhere this week.

This school seems supportive of extra curricular activities, judging by the weekly newsletter where students are often celebrated for various achievements, so I did not anticipate any issues. Perhaps they are just really disorganised?

OP posts:
Original poster
Catkitkat · 08/02/2022 20:57

@Comefromaway

Can I just reiterate that for ANY performance that requires time off school you do have to go via the local authority education welfare officer.
Thanks, the production is doing all of this for the children, they say they only need a letter from her school granting her permission, plus some additional paperwork I’m filling out
OP posts:
Original poster
Catkitkat · 08/02/2022 20:59

[quote MamaTutu2]@Catkitkat Go into the office and ask to talk to the head or the attendance officer?[/quote]
Parents are not allowed in the school building due to covid…

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