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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want DC to start P 1 a year early?

60 replies

SidSparrow · 08/02/2022 16:57

DC goes to a rural nursery, she loves and loves the friends that she has made there. But come August her close circle will be moving to P1 and she will have to do another year. My heart is breaking for her as there is one girl she is really close with. If DC had been born 2 and a half weeks earlier then she would have been going into P1 with them. She just missed the cut off.

I really don't know what to do. I don't want her to be sad, and I know that she might only be upset for a little bit, but at the same time I don't want her to be underchallenged and bored in another year of nursery. On the other hand I don't want her to struggle if she is allowed to go into P1 early.

I don't know what to look for either to see if she could manage. She seems bright enough to me, good vocabulary, and will quietly get on with a task if you give her one. But I don't really know what too look for.

Any suggestions? Anyone been at the same crossroads? 🥺

OP posts:

TheNinny · 08/02/2022 21:54

*know who started school early. I can’t type though I think that’s pretty clear from most of my posts

ittakes2 · 08/02/2022 21:55

Your daughter will be more confident as one of the oldest in her classes than one of the youngest. Also you need to think about puberty and the teen years - you don't want your young daughter hanging out with friends who are potentially be more than a year older than her.

Mostlyjustrunning · 08/02/2022 21:55

I know two children who passed an assessment to start school early. One ended up repeating a year mid primary. And the other really struggled socially in secondary school (and ended up pregnant at 16 but I’m sure that wasn’t caused by starting school young!).

If it’s a small school are they composite classes anyway? She might end up I same class as friends.

RaginaPhalange · 08/02/2022 21:57

Don't send her just because of her close circle is going to school thats not a good enough reason tbh. The nursery will know she will be one of the eldest and work with her at her level. She can always make new friends. My ds is an April birthday and missed out going to school with his good friend from nursery and honestly he's doing great, has made lots of friends, talks about them all and is doing great in p1.

Finchgold · 08/02/2022 22:05

My son was in this situation last year. He missed his old friends lots in August and September but made lots of new friends. We still meet up with his old group of friends so he has twice as many birthday parties and play dates to go to. If it’s a rural school then potentially your daughter could end up in a composite class with her older pals.

CecilyP · 08/02/2022 22:27

How many DCs are there in a year at the school? If it is a tiny school where the nursery is not that great and there’s a big gap between her and the next youngest, I’d be tempted to have her assessed. Otherwise, I’d leave her in nursery for another year.

Musicaltheatremum · 08/02/2022 22:31

@SidSparrow

I am in Scotland and the cut off is end of February. I don't think I do have a choice but if I think it would be better for her I'll push for it. But I don't want to make a fuss if it's not right for her. I also think with it being a rural nursery the class size won't be much at all.

My friend's DC's birthday is the same and she said that by Christmas he was bored and kept moaning about it.

My daughter said the best thing about being the oldest in your year was you could go to all the over 18 parties in 6th year. Her birthday is April so 18 before she left school Affected leavers ball etc

I think being older prepares them better for leaving school.

Mossstitch · 08/02/2022 22:49

I've had both ends of spectrum with first being eldest in class, if he'd been born a week earlier (when he was due rather than needing to be evicted) he would have been youngest. He was bored out of his mind a lot of the time in primary school as he could already read well before he started school and was 19 before he could start uni. My third child was also bored so I put him in for a scholarship at a private prep school which he passed for a free place but had to go into a class higher than his age. This was fine at primary age as he was advanced academically but meant he had to go into secondary school a year young which wasn't really beneficial as he went into teenage years. His friends were old enough to do things before he was and he didn't cope well with sixth form despite getting straight As in his GCSEs🤷 after my experience I would suggest it's better to remain with her correct age group🤔

damelarue · 08/02/2022 22:55

@BestKnitterInScotland

It absolutely does happen. I am an April birthday and I was an “under age placement” back in 1990. I work with a guy whose son is in 1st year at high school and is an under age placement.

I wouldn’t recommend it though OP. The pace of learning these days is wild in comparison to years ago and she will potentially be in a class with children who have been deferred and will be 14/15 months older.

She’ll make new friends and they’re at school long enough tbh

SleepingStandingUp · 09/02/2022 00:04

It does seem weird that if your child is born vaguely in summer you can hodl them back but if they're August 31st they can't go forward. There should be some sort of informal assessment by school on a request basis.

DS went to nursery with a lad who was a few days off being in the older year. He essentially did an extra year of nursery and was quite bored of it by then. He'd have coped as well as DS in DSs year

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