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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think she's lying

59 replies

Rosebel · 07/02/2022 16:01

If you asked your teenager if they were having sex and she said no, then you said if you are use protection and she said okay what would you think?
Added to this the fact she came home yesterday and rushed upstairs to have a shower.
Am I over thinking or is she lying?

OP posts:

Bintymcbintface · 07/02/2022 17:31

You think she's having sex because she had a shower quickly after getting home? That's a little odd. Despite that, unless she's underage and/or she's bringing random guys to your house to spend the night it really isn't any of your business whether she is or not. Just be sure she knows to have safe sex when the time comes

BatshitBanshee · 07/02/2022 17:34

Christ alive texting that to a 15 year old is the equivalent to a letter bomb for goodness sake. For a parent, you sound very immature. Ask her straight out, bring her down to the GP for contraception if needed and then back off a bit. She rushed to the shower - could be a period, could be smoking, could be sweaty, could be a lot of things. But jumping to conclusions and then jumping on an internet forum instead of just dealing with it face to face is fucking odd behaviour. Texting her

Original poster

Rosebel · 07/02/2022 17:57

I wondered when the perfect parents would appear.
I overheard her saying this boy that she's seeing asked her if she wanted to go upstairs and get it over with.
Yesterday when she came in and had a shower I didn't think anything of it. It was only when she said that on the phone I thought about sex.
It could be something else but thats what I thought.
We've had plenty of talks about consent and not feeling like you have to do anything you don't want to. She also knows about contraception and that she's able to go to the doctors on her own if she so wishes. She's also very close to her older cousin (in her 20s)and knows she can always talk to her instead of me.

OP posts:

BatshitBanshee · 07/02/2022 18:01

I overheard her saying this boy that she's seeing asked her if she wanted to go upstairs and get it over with.
Yesterday when she came in and had a shower I didn't think anything of it. It was only when she said that on the phone I thought about sex.

That's a drip feed and that conversation changes things. But that's the moment I would have had a sit-down with her and asked what was going on and that the boy doesn't sound great. Don't have conversations like these over texts.

sweetbellyhigh · 07/02/2022 18:04

@Rosebel

I wondered when the perfect parents would appear. I overheard her saying this boy that she's seeing asked her if she wanted to go upstairs and get it over with. Yesterday when she came in and had a shower I didn't think anything of it. It was only when she said that on the phone I thought about sex. It could be something else but thats what I thought. We've had plenty of talks about consent and not feeling like you have to do anything you don't want to. She also knows about contraception and that she's able to go to the doctors on her own if she so wishes. She's also very close to her older cousin (in her 20s)and knows she can always talk to her instead of me.

Massive drip feed there OP 😂

Doesn't change much though, you can but be supportive, try to keep the lines of communication open and trust that the daughter you know will make good decisions as well as feel able to confide in you when she's worried.

No easy way to get through the teenage years 😱

Original poster

Rosebel · 07/02/2022 18:08

I wasn't going to say what I heard on the phone but as I was asked a couple of times I thought I would
I probably should have talked to her at that moment and realised that too late.

OP posts:

traintraveller · 07/02/2022 18:18

I'd think she was absolutely mortified and said OK to stop the conversation and went for a shower so you wouldn't mention it again

sweetbellyhigh · 07/02/2022 18:20

@Rosebel

I wasn't going to say what I heard on the phone but as I was asked a couple of times I thought I would I probably should have talked to her at that moment and realised that too late.

No it's ok that you didn't. It's not too late to talk to her.

LittleKitten1 · 07/02/2022 18:20

My mum and dad used to buy condoms and leave them in the bathroom cupboard. There was a sort of unspoken rule that my brother or myself once sexually active could just take them and somehow they were magically replenished.

I thought it was totally normal at the time.
Now I realise they were pretty relaxed parents in that regard. At least I had safe sex in my teens and early 20s.

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