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AIBU?

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Original poster

Did you have any parental help when buying first house?

499 replies

forceofagreattyphoon · 07/02/2022 14:37

Obviously inspired by all the Kirsty allsopp stuff about buying first houses.

Did you have any help from parents or partners parents in any way?

We didn’t get any ‘direct’ money but were only able to save a deposit by living with my parents for very-low rent for 2 years. So technically they did help a lot financially with the process. A lot of people wouldn’t have this option so I am very fortunate and wouldn’t have been able to do it otherwise.

I’d say about 80% of people I know my age (late 20s-early 30s) have all had some form of parental help when purchasing their first house. Ranging from the whole deposit gifted or help with all the fees.

OP posts:
YellowLemonshade · 07/02/2022 15:36

Yes, parents lent us the deposit.
I'll help my kids, too.

PineappleTart · 07/02/2022 15:36

I'll likely never own. My parents never owned their property, living with them wasn't an option so moved out at 17. Series of bad decisions left me in debt that I've worked hard to clear but my credit still shows this. I don't earn enough to save a deposit because I rent.

bigbluebus · 07/02/2022 15:36

DH's parents matched his deposit back in the early 1990's. He was living in a grotty rental property which the owner decided to sell so he bought it off the landlord at a pretty good price as it needed loads of work doing on it.
We currently pay £200 into a Help2Buy account for DS in the hope that he will be able to get on the property ladder some time soon. He is also living at home rent free atm so he can save up further.

Dixiechickonhols · 07/02/2022 15:37

No. I’m mid 40s. We bought a new build. Developer paid 5% deposit and we bought on 95% mortgage. We bought as soon as we qualified and were mortgageable. House prices jumped a lot in 2 years we lived there. My mum was worried - house was 2.5 times our joint salary. We prioritised getting a house - I didn’t have an engagement ring, had cheap no frills wedding with party at home, furniture cast offs from relatives etc.

pussycatunpickingcrossesagain · 07/02/2022 15:38

None at all, at any point past leaving school for either of us.

CirreltheSquirrel · 07/02/2022 15:38

Yes, in 2003. I'd been living at home and saving up but was probably a couple of years from being ready when they decided to emigrate. Rather than me moving into rented or buying something tiny they lent me £60k for a few years. This was more than I needed for a deposit, and also kept the amount I was borrowing to a sensible multiple of my salary. I was a trainee at the time and got a significant payrise on qualification so at that point I could remortgage and pass the money on to my sister who then used it for her first house. I assume she also repaid them although I haven't asked.

I'm still in the same house today.

loislovesstewie · 07/02/2022 15:38

No.

MadameHeisenberg · 07/02/2022 15:41

No, none. Parents & PIL have no spare cash.

Deposit was £160k (20%, in Switzerland). Had to save all of it ourselves. Fortunately we are highly paid ex-pats.

MadameHeisenberg · 07/02/2022 15:41

Oh, in 2018.

thevassal · 07/02/2022 15:41

No monetary help but like you did live with them for a few years only paying token rent. They did offer me money towards my deposit but I already had enough by then so they said they would put it towards my wedding instead. They were moving house so I did have their old washing machine too which was handy!

TroysMammy · 07/02/2022 15:42

No but we lived with and looked after my then husband's grandmother who rented off the Council and we took advantage of Right To Buy using her discount. I never charged her rent or asked her to contribute once I started paying the mortgage.

thevassal · 07/02/2022 15:43

Oh having scanned the thread my dad did do a lot of painting and built me a new garden gate fair play so although didn't help to buy the house that saved me money I otherwise would have had to spend after I had.

FloBot7 · 07/02/2022 15:44

Yes, my DH had an inheritance from his mum when he was 21 and his DF sensibly encouraged him to use it for a deposit. It was 30k on a 2 bed flat that cost £110k in 2011. He sold it for £180k just 6 years later. I feel sorry for anyone trying to save a deposit. It's like one step forward and two steps back with prices increasing faster than you can save.

Giveaschitt · 07/02/2022 15:44

No. We were lucky (if that is the right word) that my now DH had recieved enough from his share of the sale of the house from his previous marriage for us to put down a substantial deposit on our house. (No children from his previous marriage, just a house that had increased significantly in value from when they'd bought it).
Without that money, we'd have struggled I think.

Aprilx · 07/02/2022 15:44

No I and no help whatsoever. I got a 100% mortgage and I struggled to even get the money together to pay the solicitor fees!

RoseslnTheHospital · 07/02/2022 15:46

No, but this was around the turn of the millennium and I was fortunate enough to have a job with a decent wage at the time. House prices, mortgages and general cost of living were very different then.

ClaireEclair · 07/02/2022 15:47

My parent's gave us the money for the stamp duty but except for that we saved (well, my DH saved and had some from redundancy). We bought in our early 40s though and feel a bit late getting on the ladder.

Most of my friends were gifted money towards their deposits. One wasn't and had to buy a house with a friend which has been complicated and will be more so when one decides to move.

BrinksmansEntry · 07/02/2022 15:48

We stayed rent free with my parents for 6 months which helped cover fees and stamp duty. FIL said he would help us out with £20k to help move us up to better interest rate then recanted offer after our house purchase was going through. SIL gave us the money as she had already borrowed v large amount of money from him for something else. So he doesn't know he still helped us.

Majority of deposit came from savings, relocation bung from a job and redundancy payment.

countdowntonap · 07/02/2022 15:51

Yes - we lived at home rent free until we have saved a deposit and enough for renovating and DH parents gifted us £10,000.

perenniallymessy · 07/02/2022 15:51

Yes, my DM split her inheritance from her parents four ways (DM, DDad, DSis and me) so that we had a decent deposit.

It meant that we were able to buy a much nicer house than we otherwise would have, which meant we were more able to upgrade later on. They have since given me more money to help with an extension. We are very fortunate and there is no way we would have this lovely house without their help.

DH and I have both lived away from home since we left for university (though we did stay at his DPs for a month when we were relocating) so we've never had the option to live with DPs to save up. Nor have we had any childcare from them, so all help has been financial.

I think a lot of people get help in one way or another- whether it's cash, letting adult children live rent free to save up, helping with DIY so you can improve the 'project' you can afford to buy, or free childcare so you don't have to pay nursery fees.

I do worry about our children's generation as parents in smaller homes won't necessarily be able to have (or afford) adult children at home rent free, plus we will be working longer so less able to provide childcare. How will they be able to save up?

GougeAway · 07/02/2022 15:52

No help from anyone. We bought a cheap doer upper and did most of the work ourselves. The bank we got the mortgage with gave us a loan for the deposit and urgent building works. We had old furniture and decorated the house ourselves. We shouldn’t have been lent the money by the bank as it was barely affordable but we got a property in 1999 just before prices went silly so it paid off for us. A tough few years of no holidays and decorating every spare moment.

My DC have inheritance saved for their futures.

gingerhills · 07/02/2022 15:55

DPs loaned me 10k and expected it to be paid back pretty quickly. But it enabled me to buy a very cheap flat in a very run down area.

Starlightandsparkles · 07/02/2022 15:57

My in laws bought our house for us-we had to find what we wanted within budget and they paid the stamp duty and drove over 300 miles to help me move etc
The reasoning being that they’d rather we had it now rather than when they went
My darling fil charged us £350 a month in rent and 5k on top for a car but he sadly passed away last year
My lovely mil promptly halved our rent to £175 a month and again to £100 a month and gave us 3k as a gift (she seems to think we live on 50p a week and struggle)
She’ll do the same next year-we are bloody lucky

My own parents haven’t bought or lent us money for a deposit for anything but have paid for my brothers to go to college,allowed them to live at home rent free to save and paid for driving lessons/weddings/cars/phones etc
I’ve not had a bean and won’t get anything when they go either-that will be split between my brothers-which won’t go as far as they think it will

Onionpatch · 07/02/2022 15:57

I lived with my mum for 3 years at a lowish rent, it was the same as a houseshare but much nicer as it was clean and not cramped. I saved the deposit whilst working. My husband was away uni getting debts.

Then when we moved in my Dad bought us some new carpets and my inlaws bought us a washing machine.

It was a different world with 100% mortgages available and house price to salary ratio was better. Although i will say that interest was about 6-8% so monthly payments were higher. I remember interest rates going to 4% and everyone saying how low it was and it wouldnt go lower. It scares me a bit for all those taking loans out on low interest what will happen if it heads back to the long term average which i think is 6%

HelloDaisy · 07/02/2022 15:58

No help at all to start with, we got there though sheer hard by dh working 7 days a week, but my lovely stepfather did pay our bills for 2 months when we started up our own business although we had our house for a few years by then.