Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did you have any parental help when buying first house?

499 replies

forceofagreattyphoon · 07/02/2022 14:37

Obviously inspired by all the Kirsty allsopp stuff about buying first houses.

Did you have any help from parents or partners parents in any way?

We didn’t get any ‘direct’ money but were only able to save a deposit by living with my parents for very-low rent for 2 years. So technically they did help a lot financially with the process. A lot of people wouldn’t have this option so I am very fortunate and wouldn’t have been able to do it otherwise.

I’d say about 80% of people I know my age (late 20s-early 30s) have all had some form of parental help when purchasing their first house. Ranging from the whole deposit gifted or help with all the fees.

OP posts:
BonnesVacances · 07/02/2022 16:00

Yes, my dad helped me take out a £10k loan in his name for my deposit. Because I felt so lucky that the value of my flat had gone up and I had more equity, I then used some of it to lend my brother money for a deposit so they could buy their first place.

BoredZelda · 07/02/2022 16:00

My parents were guarantors for my first mortgage. It didn't cost them anything.

BobHadBitchTits · 07/02/2022 16:00

No, I'm one of three and my parents couldn't afford to help us all.

I'm 33. My husband is 10 years older. He bought a house in 2002 (without parental help) which enabled us to buy a four bed when I was 25. I'm aware I'm really lucky.

Sh05 · 07/02/2022 16:03

We borrowed 5k from my parents and the same from my older brother. Plus 3k from mil.
Paid everyone back in 15 months.
Our house was 104k, deposit 29k and we took the longest term of 30 years on the mortgage to be able to pay back everyone we'd borrowed from within 2 years.
On the day we had just 1 thousand left in the bank which was earmarked for the carpets and £450 which was our first month's mortgage.
3 kids at the time but a housing association low rent enabled us to save over 9 years and we're in the north west.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 07/02/2022 16:04

They gave us a 3k loan when we were given a better rate with a 25% deposit vs a 20%. Paid them back at £100 a month for the next 2.5 years.

oldwhyno · 07/02/2022 16:06

yes, pretty substantial help. 25k from OH's parents, ~100k from mine. it wasn't specifically for buying a house, but as neither of us where trying to start a business, what else is there. It was obviously absolutely massive life changer and we've been reaping the benefits of living in a great house in a lovely area ever since.

We'll be doing everything we can to try and be in a position to help out our own kids to the greatest extent we can when the time comes. Because, for better or for worse, that is the name of the game.

Flutterby8 · 07/02/2022 16:09

Absolutely no help in buying at all.
I still lived at home so could save a decent amount of money but although im in a highly skilled, medical role, the pay is crap.
DH at the time was renting but had a much higher paying role.
We put down a deposit comfortably.
My patents then chipped in and paid for our bathroom to be renovated.
Inlaws did nothing substantial.
This was 10 years ago where a 3 bed, end of terrace with big garden cost less than £200k...

Mousespace · 07/02/2022 16:09

Still haven't managed to buy one yet! My mum has saved 10k for me and my sisters weddings (so 5k each.) my snyster recently broke up with her long term partner and me and my boyfriend are not keen on a big wedding, so she's decided we are getting 5k towards a house each instead.

She told us this at Christmas and I thought wonderful! Add that to our ~18k and we've saved up ten percent then! But I didn't realise how offers over works. We went to a solicitor and it felt almost like we were laughed out. Our ten percent is not even half of what we need, it's more like 25%.

And we can't "move somewhere further out" because one of the things we've done to save money is not learn to drive or spent money running a car 🤦‍♀️

So maybe one day I guess. Thanks mum but not quite!

Sprogonthetyne · 07/02/2022 16:10

Do direct monetary help, but we bought an absolute wreck (all we could afford) and FIL spent a week helping DH instal a bathroom and replace a rotten floorboards before we moved in.

PupInAPram · 07/02/2022 16:11

The gap between haves and have-nots just gets wider and wider. It's bloody awful.The kids of working class folk living in house shares on minimum wage are so badly done by.

TokyoSushi · 07/02/2022 16:11

No, but it was 2004 and we got a 105% mortgage. Absolutely no deposit and we ended up getting about £400 back!

Led to negative equity though and we got £10K from each side when we moved to accommodate DC.

Violet1988 · 07/02/2022 16:11

No money directly but my mum allowed me to come home and live with her for a little bit over a year rent free when I finished university.

Mousespace · 07/02/2022 16:12

(I meant sister, no idea what my autocorrect is up to)

theemmadilemma · 07/02/2022 16:13

Not directly parents, but inheritance. My sisters and I had inherited a house from my Grandmother. In my mid 20's fed up of renting I got one sister on board to sell and we over ruled the other. The house was sold and I was able to have a large deposit rather than a tiny monthly income (after tax, repairs and splitting) which was useless to me.

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 07/02/2022 16:14

We had parental help in the form of a loan which was paid off 2/3 years later, we would have been able to afford the house by ourselves if we had waited for the 2/3 years later

This was however back in the 80’s when house prices weren’t going up at a rate of knots

SparklyLeprechaun · 07/02/2022 16:15

No, no help

ColinKnocksTwoPence · 07/02/2022 16:15

No financial help at all from parents - ever!
But this was in the early 90s when you could get 100% mortgages. Bought a 2 bedroom flat for £50,000 in south London on an income of £16,000.
Then discovered I had to pay an insurance premium on the mortgage of about £1250 so quickly got a bank loan for that as well.
I was single, in my mid 20s, rather naive and up to my eyes in debt, but after a couple of years of very frugal living managed to make ends meet.
I had an ancient second hand fridge and rented a washing machine from Radio Rentals.
The only new bit of furniture I bought was a bed and I sat on the floor in the living room.

maplegrove · 07/02/2022 16:18

I was given £5k from my parents to put towards a deposit but the rest came from my own savings

elbo7 · 07/02/2022 16:19

Yes I had a small inheritance from 4 grandparents and then my parents gifted me and my siblings some too. DH's parents were not able to contribute financially but we were incredibly lucky and bought a flat in london at the right time, enabling us to then move to a 3 bed house outside of london when the prices went up. We are planning and hoping to help our children in the same way if it is at all possible.

1moreglassplease · 07/02/2022 16:20

No help financially whatsoever but this was in 1996 and I'm still living in my 3-bed terrace, thankfully mortgage free now. I was working in the NHS and saved up over a year for a £3k deposit as well as paying all of the legal fees, survey, movers etc and buying all white goods and bits and pieces. I was also still expected to pay board to parents while living with them until I moved out.

What I paid for my house then (£39k) would now be required for a deposit in order to afford it now (approx £300k) so I was very lucky with my timing particularly as a single woman.

My dad had been a builder so was able to help with a few small jobs and offer advice though which was a help.

FirstAconite · 07/02/2022 16:21

No, in fact I helped them out when I was in my 20s and money was tight for them.

We've inherited from our parents now. We gave each child several thousand £ and bought a second property overseas which they can all use and will eventually inherit. We've also helped them out with large loans whenever they've needed them - and we're very relaxed about if/when they pay us back, with no interest expected of course.

ladycarlotta · 07/02/2022 16:21

Staying with parents is help, in my opinion. It's a privilege to have parents whose house is large enough to accommodate you and who live in an area where there's employment for you.

I didn't have any financial help to buy, but I did have an unexpected windfall via work - our deposit money wasn't something we'd have reasonably been able to save up and it's a total fluke that we got it, so I am pretty atypical in that regard.

Blossomtoes · 07/02/2022 16:22

@spudjulia

None. Although I bought at a time when there were 100% mortgages so didn't need a deposit. That was enough of a leg up - I don't know how the average person can afford to save for a deposit these days.
Same. I feel so sorry for people buying now.
IsAnybodyListening · 07/02/2022 16:23

None. Got the keys to mine just before first DC turned 3YO when I was just shy of 21 myself HOWEVER the solicitor kicked back my deposit as to make it do-able, a very frowned upon if not illegal practice now.

Crepusculum · 07/02/2022 16:23

No, but it was the mid-nineties so much easier to buy property then without help (not that they would have been in a position to help anyway).

We've definitely recognised the DC will need a serious amount of help for them to have what we had, in relative terms, with no help.