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AIBU?

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Original poster

Did you have any parental help when buying first house?

499 replies

forceofagreattyphoon · 07/02/2022 14:37

Obviously inspired by all the Kirsty allsopp stuff about buying first houses.

Did you have any help from parents or partners parents in any way?

We didn’t get any ‘direct’ money but were only able to save a deposit by living with my parents for very-low rent for 2 years. So technically they did help a lot financially with the process. A lot of people wouldn’t have this option so I am very fortunate and wouldn’t have been able to do it otherwise.

I’d say about 80% of people I know my age (late 20s-early 30s) have all had some form of parental help when purchasing their first house. Ranging from the whole deposit gifted or help with all the fees.

OP posts:
TenoringBehind · 07/02/2022 15:20

Yes, in the sense that FIL’s death gave us a small inheritance that we used as the deposit.

No money from any living parents not would I want it.

SpaghettiArmsMurderer · 07/02/2022 15:20

Not directly but they did buy us a few bits for the house like the kettle etc and DP lived with his parents for free for a year. We bought in 2019 in our early 20s in the SE. It was a lawsuit that got us the deposit rather than parents!

Comedycook · 07/02/2022 15:20

Mine died and left me money...so yes,I guess that counts as parental help!

MumWithYOPD · 07/02/2022 15:22

No but it was only £45k in 1995

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 07/02/2022 15:22

Nope, I was 30ish i think!

samsalmon · 07/02/2022 15:22

No help at all, either direct or indirect, we bought our first house in 2004 at what turned out to be an inflated price. Fully expect to have to help our own children in some way though.

JorisBonson · 07/02/2022 15:24

Nope.

WaystarRoycoCEO · 07/02/2022 15:24

Nope, we got married in 2008 (also paid for by us entirely) and then we spent the next 3 years saving £30k as a deposit and bought our first house in 2011. To be honest at the time I had no idea that so many peoples parents helped with things like that!! It didn’t really occur to me that we would do anything other than pay for it ourselves.

PeeAche · 07/02/2022 15:25

Not directly. Left home within 2 weeks of turning 18 and started saving at 21, while I was on an 18k salary. Every pay day, I would go to the cash point with envelopes. Each envelope marked up "groceries week beginning x" or "Christmas night out" etc. then I saved the rest.

My husband's parents paid his deposit in full.

We both sold up and combined to afford our house now. So, yes, in a way, some of this success is down to (his) parents. But I take pride that everything I put in was earned.

Birdkin · 07/02/2022 15:25

Yes I lived with my parents for awhile to save up and they loaned me a large sum for my deposit. There would have been 0 chance of me even affording to rent alone let alone have my own flat otherwise.

Everyone I know either had help to buy, lives at home or flat shares. We’re in our 30s.

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 07/02/2022 15:25

Yes (late 30s), mine gifted us £13k which was 10% deposit. Did the same for my brother (don’t know the amount, his house was 2.5 times the price of ours so assuming it was a bit more) and will likely to the same for other brother when he decides to buy. DH’s family in a very different financial position.

Iggly · 07/02/2022 15:25

@forceofagreattyphoon

Obviously inspired by all the Kirsty allsopp stuff about buying first houses.

Did you have any help from parents or partners parents in any way?

We didn’t get any ‘direct’ money but were only able to save a deposit by living with my parents for very-low rent for 2 years. So technically they did help a lot financially with the process. A lot of people wouldn’t have this option so I am very fortunate and wouldn’t have been able to do it otherwise.

I’d say about 80% of people I know my age (late 20s-early 30s) have all had some form of parental help when purchasing their first house. Ranging from the whole deposit gifted or help with all the fees.

No help, no.

We were lucky as we were able to take out a 100% mortgage (we were qualified accountants at the start of our careers so knew we’d have strong salary progression) and used savings to pay for moving costs.

SGChome20 · 07/02/2022 15:26

I had a lot of financial help from my parents, never asked for it but I am acutely aware how privileged a position that puts me in. I don't tell people irl because I worry they'd think I was showing off or spoiled. It's meant I've been able to get on the property ladder sooner.

notacooldad · 07/02/2022 15:27

No help from parents.
I didn't help mine with deposits but bought them white goods.

I picked up the Ikea bill for a lot of shopping they did. They wasn't expecting it, I just paid at the till after a Saturday hell trip there. That way they bought what they genuinely wanted.
At one point it was touch and go whether DS 2 could get his deposit released in time as the vendors wanted to get the sale done so I said I would lend him the deposit and he could transfer it back. However in the end it wasn't needed. Everything went through smoothly.

Iggly · 07/02/2022 15:27

I didn’t have the option of parental help (grew up in foster care). I was saying to DH that not having parental help, or a parental home to fall back on, really meant I was incredibly cautious in my career choices.

Coffeetree · 07/02/2022 15:28

None. When I was married I moved into my then husband's house, which he owned outright (inheritance). When we divorced he gave me £20k which I used towards a shared ownership flat, along with my own savings. So I never really needed anything from my parents as it turned out.

My parents didn't help any of us with finances after we turned 18. They probably could afford to help but their attitude is very much," No one helped us, why should we help you?"

CMOTDibbler · 07/02/2022 15:28

No help, though my parents had supported me at university so I didn't come out with debt and wouldn't take rent in the holidays, so working all the way through uni meant I was able to save then, lived in a very cheap shared house in my first two years working to save further.
Mum did buy me a futon for my first house though

3peassuit · 07/02/2022 15:29

No. I bought my first property ( one bed flat in Hammersmith) in the early 80s with a 100% mortgage. I paid the deposit on DD1’s flat and am about to do the same with DD2. There is no comparison between prices in the 80s and now so the least I can do is pass on some of that to the girls while I’m still around.

Pontypandytaxpayer · 07/02/2022 15:29

No, we saved for years to get a deposit and bought in our mid-30s.

Chasingaftermidnight · 07/02/2022 15:30

Yes, in 2012. My parents gave us a deposit for a flat in London. I think we probably could have managed to buy by ourselves in the end but not for another 5 years at least.

Gynaesaur · 07/02/2022 15:30

No. Mid thirties. My grandparents (in my case, parental figures) couldn't afford to buy their own flat, so were certainly in no position to be paying for mine. I was told that I could always live at home very cheaply if I was struggling for money. Didn't take it up but the offer was always there, which was nice.

DumpedByText · 07/02/2022 15:32

Yes, my parents have just bought a house outright for me and my teenage daughter. They have just sold a second house they owned that a relative used to live in. I'm extremely lucky and very grateful they've done this, as I'd be stick renting as no way I could raise a deposit.

Gizacluethen · 07/02/2022 15:32

My mum helped me do the wallpaper, that's it.

Squirrelblanket · 07/02/2022 15:33

No, I've never had any financial help from either of my parents. Neither of them could afford that.

What did help was that when I met my husband he'd just sold a flat he'd owned with an ex in a very up and coming area and had made quite a lot of money on it. He used this as a deposit on a flat that we lived in for seven years. The place we were living in was a very popular area and we made quite a bit on the sale of that flat, enough to buy our house in a much cheaper area. We have less than ten years left on our mortgage now. We've been incredibly lucky and we are very aware of that.

waitingformygirl · 07/02/2022 15:34

Yes we were given the deposit.