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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to point this out when MIL is helping?

54 replies

hairymclairy2 · 07/02/2022 10:28

I've recently had a baby and it was a c-section birth. DH has gone back to work and I'm home all day with the baby and DS (2).

My MiL has been coming round to help me during the day and she's been great. We get along so well. She's been helping with housework and grocery shopping (I give her the money for it) but best of all, she's cooking for us! I don't have the energy to think about what I want to eat let alone make it.

She leaves just before DH comes home from work and she's left our dinner in the oven. She's a great cook but the problem is...there's a hair in every meal. DH has joked with me that 'whoever finds the hair wins a prize!'. I find it really offputting but he just picks it out when he finds it and carries on with his meal.

AIBU to ask the woman going out of her way to help us to tie her hair up when cooking??

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 07/02/2022 10:30

I'd ask dh to mention it

girlmom21 · 07/02/2022 10:32

I agree - get him to mention it.

SallyWD · 07/02/2022 10:58

I wouldn't mention it all. I assume here hair is clean and the food is cooked so all germs will be killed. She sounds like an angel.

LibrariesGiveUsPower · 07/02/2022 11:04

She’s a saint. I wouldn’t mention it.

RiceRiceBaby16 · 07/02/2022 11:12

What i would do to have that support with a baby! I would not mention it but as others say, if it’s really putting you off your food, let DH have the conversation

KylieCharlene · 07/02/2022 11:15

I'd not mention anything- just make myself something to eat when she's gone.
DH can eat what she's made- saves you cooking for two.

JustBlethering · 07/02/2022 11:17

I wouldn't mention it. She's being amazingly helpful and she'll be really offended

Ponoka7 · 07/02/2022 11:17

I agree it's either he mentions it, or you eat something simple.

solbunny · 07/02/2022 11:18

I would also find this very grim, but unfortunately I really don't think you can mention it without embarrassing and upsetting your MIL who sounds like an angel!

LightDrizzle · 07/02/2022 11:19

I wouldn’t mention it either. There’s a risk she would be mortified and she sounds so lovely.

It really is isn’t going to harm you you just have to get over the ick.

Ozanj · 07/02/2022 11:25

Why does it put you off? You know it might be in the food so just trawl through the food first. If you don’t want to then make yourself something simple & let DH and the DT have the meal. I’m part Indian and one of the key reasons why I got into the habit of eating with my hands was because it’s much easier to feel for hairs lol.

Suzi888 · 07/02/2022 11:27

Grim. I wouldn’t say anything but I would get my own food. Envy

heldinadream · 07/02/2022 11:28

If you eat cooked meat you are eating the hair of animals. I cooked some chicken recently and noticed that the feather removal nowadays is shocking, so I stopped looking too closely. MIL's hair? No difference.
Chances are the idea that you'd spotted it and she's been doing it for ever would mortify and embarrass her. Say nothing.

She sounds lovely.

cstaff · 07/02/2022 11:28

Unless you want to risk the lovely relationship you appear to have with her I definitely wouldn't mention it. Is it really worth it.

MangoM · 07/02/2022 11:29

I would just ask her to tie her hair up - don't make a big deal of it though.

Do you tie your hair up when cooking too? It'll be easier to have that conversation with her if it's something you do yourself - then it wouldn't look like you're picking on her.

I never used to tie my hair up, but mil insisted I do if I'm cooking and now it's just second nature. I didn't take offence (I've no idea whether she found my hair in any food or whether it's just a habit of hers she wanted me to follow)

HoppingPavlova · 07/02/2022 11:29

Just pick it out for goodness sake. I assume she has a basic level of hygiene and doesn’t live on the streets not washing for several weeks and rolling around in her own excrement? No one ever got sick or died from a hair in the food. She is doing you a massive favour, it’s really bad form to be picky.

MangoM · 07/02/2022 11:33

Those of you saying to just pick it out ... once you've seen a hair, doesn't it make you gag? I can't eat the reminder of the meal without imagining the tickly feeling of hairs in my mouth/throat.

I'm gagging just thinking about it now Blush

TheUndoingProject · 07/02/2022 11:34

I wouldn’t risk the lovely relationship you have (and all the help you’re getting!) over this. You can hardly expect her to wear a hair net in your kitchen?!

user94747295 · 07/02/2022 11:35

I was a hairdresser and I think about all the dirty hairs I must of swallowed Envy

I'd just pick it out and carry on eating!

Ozanj · 07/02/2022 11:35

@heldinadream

If you eat cooked meat you are eating the hair of animals. I cooked some chicken recently and noticed that the feather removal nowadays is shocking, so I stopped looking too closely. MIL's hair? No difference. Chances are the idea that you'd spotted it and she's been doing it for ever would mortify and embarrass her. Say nothing.

She sounds lovely.

True. Pork and other meats are allowed to contain a certain percentage of hair, shit, and toenails. So by that logic clean human hair in your food is a luxury lol
timeisnotaline · 07/02/2022 11:37

I would definitely not mention it!

Imyourvenus · 07/02/2022 11:42

No way, just suck it up

InTheSlowLane · 07/02/2022 11:45

I wouldn't mention it.

VimFuego101 · 07/02/2022 11:46

Honestly, although this makes me a bit queasy, I wouldn't want to upset her if she's as helpful as you say, so I'd say nothing.

GizmosEveningBath · 07/02/2022 11:47

Just take the hairs out ffs. She has been working her socks off to help you out and you have a lovely relationship, why embarrass her?