Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to point this out when MIL is helping?

54 replies

hairymclairy2 · 07/02/2022 10:28

I've recently had a baby and it was a c-section birth. DH has gone back to work and I'm home all day with the baby and DS (2).

My MiL has been coming round to help me during the day and she's been great. We get along so well. She's been helping with housework and grocery shopping (I give her the money for it) but best of all, she's cooking for us! I don't have the energy to think about what I want to eat let alone make it.

She leaves just before DH comes home from work and she's left our dinner in the oven. She's a great cook but the problem is...there's a hair in every meal. DH has joked with me that 'whoever finds the hair wins a prize!'. I find it really offputting but he just picks it out when he finds it and carries on with his meal.

AIBU to ask the woman going out of her way to help us to tie her hair up when cooking??

OP posts:
stuntbubbles · 07/02/2022 11:47

I could not bring myself to mention it in those circumstances. I’m also an awful hair shedder and tying it up does nothing.

WhyYesYABU · 07/02/2022 11:48

I'd not say anything and if it reeeeally bothered me I'd let DS and DH eat the meal and buy 5x ready meals for the week - a small price to pay for all the help!

itwasntaparty · 07/02/2022 11:56

Urgh. Surely you can cook dinner, or DH can. When dts came home from nicu mil was over all the bloody time, drove me mad, I couldn't get my own routine. Her helpfulness was actually a hindrance.

GiantSpider · 07/02/2022 11:59

Personally I'd just pick the hair out and get on with it. It won't do you any harm at all! I'm not a very squeamish person though.

InTheSlowLane · 07/02/2022 12:02

Asking her to tie her hair up would be very off imo.
Effusive thanks or DH buying / making the meals are the decent options here.

Passthebrownsauce · 07/02/2022 12:03

What a lovely mil you have! I would mention something seeing as you get on so well... or do you think she would be embarrassed, or offended?

Original poster
hairymclairy2 · 07/02/2022 12:04

I shall suck it up and continue to play 'spot the hair'! Thanks all.

OP posts:
Whatsonmymindgrapes · 07/02/2022 12:05

I’d be picking out the hair and never mentioning it. She’s being a huge huge help! Don’t hurt her feelings.

Allsorts1 · 07/02/2022 12:07

DO NOT mention this under any circumstances. She’ll be humiliated and this is probably what she’ll remember from this time. Just suck it up! (Not the hair obviously 😅). It’s just hair, you won’t die and it isn’t unhygienic. You’ll be back to cooking yourself soon.

TheApexOfMyLife · 07/02/2022 12:12

I would not say a word.
Your DH is right there. Just remove the hair and enjoy the meal she cooked for you.

Sceptre86 · 07/02/2022 12:13

You'll hurt her feelings and she's dodona lot for you. If it bothers you that much thank her for her efforts and say you are well enough to take over now. I had my 3rd csection recently and the recovery was the worst with an infection to boot. My mil didn't even think of sending me any meals. My lovely mum came to see baby and filled my freezer with meals for us and our children. If any of her meals had a hair in I'd have just picked it out.
.Yabu, most people don't have the help you've had.

Sceptre86 · 07/02/2022 12:13

*done a lot

godmum56 · 07/02/2022 12:21

I couldn't eat the food....I really couldn't no matter how lovely she is. I would vomit.

BlondeWidow · 07/02/2022 12:22

@SallyWD

I wouldn't mention it all. I assume here hair is clean and the food is cooked so all germs will be killed. She sounds like an angel.
Incorrect about all germs being killed. Certain germs leave spores which are resistant to heat. Otherwise salmonella wouldn't be present in cooked food
Lindaloo08 · 07/02/2022 12:28

Stop playing the game at dinner time with DH and you won't be as aware. If you really can't eat it, let the other 2 carry on and you make yourself something separate. You both sound lovely and you don't want to risk the relationship you have. If it has to be said, ask your DH to mention it but not in a serious way, be mindful of her feelings

GalactatingGoddess · 07/02/2022 12:29

She sounds like my mum. She did the same when I had DD, cooked and tidied etc it was so appreciated.

My mum also loses hair and I just ignore now as it's not the end of the world. She's clean and her hair is unlikely to be full of dangerous bacteria.

I would just ignore it and pick the hair out! She honestly sounds ace

switswooo · 07/02/2022 12:32

My mum and I regularly drop food off to each other and I did tell her when I found one of her hairs in her dish. She was shocked.

It's one of those things DH should tell her, I'm afraid.

JustBlethering · 07/02/2022 12:33

@switswooo

My mum and I regularly drop food off to each other and I did tell her when I found one of her hairs in her dish. She was shocked.

It's one of those things DH should tell her, I'm afraid.

I feel like that's a bit different as in ops case her MIL is really doing them a huge favour.
MrsTimRiggins · 07/02/2022 12:35

@GiantSpider

Personally I'd just pick the hair out and get on with it. It won't do you any harm at all! I'm not a very squeamish person though.
This. What a sweetheart she sounds.
Rosieposie101 · 07/02/2022 13:10

There is absolutely no way in a million years that I would even DREAM of mentioning it!

MandyCarter · 07/02/2022 13:13

I would kill for a MIL like that

Holly60 · 07/02/2022 13:21

Get DH to mention you found ‘a hair’ and you weren’t sure if it was yours or hers so you are going to tie your hair up when warming the food, just in case.

Or you just say ‘oh MIL that food was so good! DH found a hair in it though, but we didn’t know whose it was. I’m going to tie my hair up next time to be safe’.

Something like that is the least mortifying for everyone.

I’d want to know though, if I was your MIL.

Gizacluethen · 07/02/2022 13:22

She sounds amazing. I would never ever mention it. Although it's not something I really care about. Our dog seems to shed hairs into our food before it's even opened, I'm too used to it

Lady1576 · 07/02/2022 13:23

Lovely woman! Don’t mention it. Congratulations ! Smile

sadpapercourtesan · 07/02/2022 13:23

I would definitely NOT mention the hair! Seems a small price to pay for an absolute gem of a MIL. You're very lucky!

Swipe left for the next trending thread