To ask how you cope with your 2/3 year olds.

[Overandout1]

My son is 2.5 years.
Firstly how many hours do you 2 year olds sleep in a 24hr period?
Mine sleeps 9 hours.
Love him to bits but I've literally had enough.
Get woken up after nowhere near enough sleep. Before I've even had a cup of tea I have jigsaws thrust at me. He's demanding, loud, doesn't shut up and fusses about everything. Just barks orders at me all day and whilst I'm midway through one task starts shouting and demanding something else. I've tried to sit down and in the last 3 minutes got up 6 times... Tried to run upstairs to wake his father (resulted in screaming), 'more drink' (you had a drink 5.minutes ago), 'more apple' you've just eaten some, we have no more, I told you 30 times, 'oh no, oh no, drink spilt' (a minute amount that he repeatedly screeches at me to clean', 'Bing on' starts screeching 'no Bing, Cocomelon', whilst getting a drink, he's in the living room shouting 'nappy off, nappy off' and pulling his nappy off. By the time I get in, he's peed on the floor. Chase him to put a nappy on, go into the kitchen for a clothes to clean wee, starts screeching 'socks wet' as he's obviously stepped in the wee. Demands and shouts 'socks off' even though he can do it.

Before anyone judges, yes we are due to start potty training. Yes I do teach him to say please and thank you after each request.

All I do is clean up constantly and have 5 demands shouted at me at once! I'm fed up of constantly tidying, cooking, cleaning and dragging out shit activities that I hate.

Also what the hell do you do with a 2 year old for the 15 hours a day they are awake? Seriously.

My son has no attention span. My eldest would do crafts etc, this one is too physically busy. I drag out the morning as long as I can. We do an activity such as soft play, trampolining, toddler group (depending if anything is on locally on my days off). Every day we go to the park. I hate the park. I drag out going to the park as long as I can. Even after activities we have hours and hours left over at home. What do I do to entertain all day???? I try to play but he has little attention.
I literally can't be bothered to do any of it. I hate my day. I wake up and want to cry. I don't want to go through the same crap shit every day.

My friends all have children the same age as my oldest son (11). Have no youngw rmum friends, partly due to Covid but also even when I go to groups most people are already there with others or not social. I don't even want more 'mum friends' I can't be bothered.

The only saving grace is working 2 days a week. I'm on annual leave this week but will be pretending I'm working because I'd I don't, my partner stays in bed and I do everything like every other day. My only break is to work.

Argh.
Anyone else remotely feel the same or understand? I literally want to let my child to shut up and go away. 9am and I am depressed already.

Hi
Can you work more and use nursery so you have 1/2 days a week at home ?

It really is so much easier work better weather. It sounds like he needs to be worn out a bit more, if you can fit in more walking / running and other physical activities, especially outside, that may help him sleep longer. Mine likes cleaning; bowl with soapy water and a cloth so he can clean his scooter, bikes, balls, anything else outside; more cloths to dry the floor if it's inside. Also do you put him to bed early enough? From early trial and error after dropping the nap, we find he wakes at 6.15-6.30am every day, regardless of whether he was put to bed at 6.30 or 8pm. He's just more whiny the next day if it was later. Easy choice, 6.30 it is!

It's tough. My son is 3 and full disclosure he goes to daycare, but these are the things we do on the days he's home....

Firstly I find it easier to prepare stuff in advance so I can quickly chuck an activity together without feeling like I spend 20 minutes setting something up for him to play for 5 mins.

Currently I have 3 little baskets of activities or toys out (he can also access other toys in the cupboards), I find this helps to "prompt" his play instead of asking him what he wants to play. This is what we've had out for the last few weeks...

• "magnetic basket" with a magnetic wand, magnetic coins, pipe cleaners in a bottle plus some magnetic blocks. Once he's done with the basket he usually goes around the house and seeing what he can stick the magnets to
• cutting basket with safety scissors and random paper and straws to cut
• playdough basket, this usually requires more of a prompt. I gave him two colours, some playdough tools and some craft tools like googly eyes and pipe cleaners and ask him to make play dough monsters. Search play dough kits on Pinterest for ideas.

He seems to have gone off cutting for now so I'll likely switch that one out for wooden cars and roads activity soon.

Other activities ..

• Mine loves digging, scooping and pouring so I'll chuck some sand in a container/tray with some trucks, rocks and a shovel. This keeps him entertained for maybe 10-15 minutes. He also loves just digging in the garden and pretending it's a construction site.
• Water play in a container/tray again, buckets and containers. Sometimes I'll also freeze plastic bugs/dinosaurs in ice (balloon or icecube tray, food colouring if feeling fancy) and give him salty water in a bottle or spray bottle to melt the ice and get the bugs out
• Duplo. Loves building towers and road blocks but mostly loves knocking them down.
• Baking, this is usually more trouble that it's worth but mine loves to mix and scoop batter into cupcake moulds. This is followed by 20 mins of whininging waiting to eat the cakes.
• Dot marker painting. This one is great, minimal set up little to no mess, don't even need a smock
• Small world play, collect sticks, leaves, bark on a walk and create a bug/dinosaur world.

Most of these things require me to play with him initially. He's also gotten much better at playing by himself for short periods of time since he hit 3.

The other thing that helps us is giving him some independence where possible. He can reach his own cups and gets his own water, he gets his bowl out for cereal and gets the milk out the fridge (I help him pour). I also prepackaged little snack containers he can reach in the pantry and put a yoghurt and some cut up fruit in a container on the bottom shelf of the fridge. This helps with the whinging.

In summary...the more I prep the smoother things run but yes toddlers are hard work.

One other quick suggestion OP is to find your people! Get hold of another mum at playgroup with an active child and arrange to meet in the afternoon at the playground or park with a football, or bring them to yours for a playdate. With covid I think people have really got out of the habit of home play dates, it's great entertainment for the kids and the mums, especially if you set up open-ended play stuff like paw patrol and dinosaurs, then duplo with characters, then vehicles and a slide etc for them to dive in.

My daughter is the same age and is also demanding. I've started being more assertive and saying no to thinks (even if it brings a tantrum on), that's helping with the constant orders.
I work full time and she goes to nursery 5 days a week except half terms (I'm a teacher). Is there a potential for him to go to childcare another day? Do you get 30 free hours soon?
My weekends/ half term days include :
Morning - tv, breakfast and get all duplo out for her to play
Then we go to soft play or park for an hour or 2
Come home and do crafts. Basically tissue paper, pva glue and big roll of paper
Lunch time and TV
Mud kitchen in garden or go for a walk and collect sticks
Play puzzles and snack
Go to asda where they have moving stairs which she loves going up and down on (I don't necessarily buy anything 😂)
Bath at 6pm with loads of foam and bring teddies in (to 'wash' )
Bed time

That's a fairly typical day, and within that there's a million orders being barked at me, I used to be afraid to upset her, but I say no way more now.
Totally know what you're going through but I am fortunate to have more down time at work!

I'm on day 5 of isolation thanks to covid and stuck in with a 3 year old. I hear you. I have never been so simultaneously bored yet constantly stressed! I'd rather be at bloody work.

Sorry, one more thing about the orders. Mine is a bit older, but had a few little phases of this. We've always just slowed it all down; stop and say that he must say please / thank you, or tell him if it sounds rude and make him repeat the polite version of the sentence. He's learned that he gets what he wants by asking "please may I have a snack" and then having a nice chat about options, rather than "get me oaty bar".

I have a 2 year old. He sleeps 11/12hrs a night and then a good 2hr nap in the day. If we mess up his sleep he becomes a hyperactive nightmare. Normally he is full of energy but calm and pleasant to be with. He's naughty in the way all 2 year old are and can tantrum with the best of them but I still enjoy his company.

We have really cut out screen time as it makes him a demanding nightmare and he goes nuts when you turn it off so just easier not to have it.

I'm very heavily pregnant so it's harder than normal but we play and go to the park, to groups, for walk, do some cooking, in the garden etc

I would ignore him if he is demanding and shouting. I only respond to him if he is speaking nicely although his speech is still fairly basic.

Thank you again all for the replies and helpful suggestions.

With regards to the demands, I have started making sure he says please before he gets anything. Hopefully he won't need promoting soon.

Also, it's a long day because he's not in bed before 9.30pm. I'll be honest I'm too scared to do earlier because he's already up at 7 and it's such a long day!

He's got a nursery place for Sept, no idea how many free hours they even get. I think he would benefit from nursery, even a day a week. However as his dad and I are always at home (work from home at present and neither work long hours), I can't justify the cost. Secondly due to Covid, he's with us constantly. I'd feel cruel just leaving him with strangers as he has only been left with a babysitter (my mum) once in his life. My family are great but live 100 miles away, so can't be a regular support.

I think even na extra hour or 2 sleep would help!
Also, he hasn't napped for around a year.

From the term after he turns 3 you get 15 hours free on some criteria, 30 on others; if you're both earning more than the minimum then you should get 30 hours. You don't need to use it all if you don't feel it's needed, you can do just mornings then add some afternoons or vice versa. Details to apply: www.gov.uk/30-hours-free-childcare.

Try him just half an hour earlier into bed, see what happens and go from there.

Could you work more? You may end up working to pay childcare but I think it may do you both the world of good. Plus at 3 he will get his funded hours (assuming you are in England) which will help cover some of the cost.
If that's not an option could you afford pre school a couple of mornings a week? Again , once he turns 3 you can get the funded hours to cover the cost.

Tbh OP I agree with some of the other suggestions re getting him in nursery and upping your work hours.

I appreciate it's so expensive but it sounds like it would be worth it for your own peace of mind, and also your son. If he needs to be doing activities all the time, there is no better place for him. May help his speech as well?

Who looks after your son while you work 2 days per week - does your partner have days off and take care of him at home on those days?

Honestly, going back to work FT was the only way I could handle my toddler. Even though I spent so much of my income on childcare, it was worth it for the peace and quiet for 8 hours a day. I love my DC but I hated that feeling of whiling away the hours until bedtime. Lockdown was a total nightmare!

Toddlers are dickheads!!!

Although kick your partner out of bed. The little terrorists are less boring/frustrating when there are 2 of you around.

Actually, sack that. However long he lies in bed for today, you do the same tomorrow.

I do suspect your DS is overtired as at that age both of mine were still getting 14-15 hours total sleep a day. I don't have a magic solution for you but if you can perhaps work on an earlier bedtime (and a gro clock) it might help?

Sorry, should have said... mega hyperness is a sure sign that my 3.5 year old is tired or hungry.

Walk them a lot. Lots of outside time. Preferably early in the day so they are calmer in the afternoon. Give them limited choices so they feel they are in control a little. Give lots of praise when they do even the smallest thing well - trust me, they want to please you. Have a few firm rules that are non negotiable (e.g. teeth cleaning, not throwing) but don't sweat the other stuff.

Hold their attention. Even when you are doing something boring, chat to them about it, see if there is a small job they can do to help you.

Set their expectations for what you are doing that day and what you expect from them.

Lots of hugs.

If all else fails, put them in nursery full time and at least save your sanity

It's just so hard isn't it. Just reading all these responses and how I feel myself looking after my two year old is brutal.

I don't look forward to weekends at all.

How do stay and home parents do this ??

I stay at home with my 2.5 year old and 10 month old. It's exhausting and the toddler is honestly like the devil some days. I find a long walk in the morning the best at tiring her out so she will have quiet time in her cot with books/yoto player around midday (she stopped napping about 3 months ago). We have also cut all screen time as like another poster found that she went crazy after it. Her behaviour is so much better without it and if I ever cave and put something on I notice a massive difference afterwards where she becomes hyper, angry and no attention for playing. It's really tough to stop as it's such a nice break sometimes but it's been well worth it for us.

The days are long, exhausting and I often wish them away but I just have to keep going! Sending sympathy.

There are some really good ideas here to keep occupied and make your days go by a bit faster. I've got 3 year old and it's just starting to get easier - he's one of those that just doesn't need much sleep, stopped napping at 1, doesn't sleep until 9 (no matter what time I get him in bed) and at least once a week pulls an all nighter , so i feel your pain! I work around 50 hours a week from home, so it's a bit different, but the behaviour sounds quite typical.

Another activity that's not been mentioned, is to set up obstacle courses with sofa cushions and jumping spots. He'll play for a good hour like that with not much input. Kids workout yoga or dance on YouTube good too (Cosmic Yoga is excellent) and you'll be able to have cup of tea while they follow the video.

I also find treasure hunts work well too, so you go for a walk with a list of things to find (postbox, yellow car, tree with red leaves etc, ) and that makes it more interesting for them.

Mine has a snack drawer with drinks and snacks, bowls and plates and a fruit bowl, and is expected to get his own snacks. Been doing this since he could walk at 10 months (obviously with assistance at that age!) Maybe put a cleaning cloth in there and he can mop up his own spills. They love the responsibility.

You are just about to hit a phase where it gets a little bit easier, your childcare hours will kick in, you'll find that when you go to soft play they can play on their own for a bit while you have a coffee and they'll be a tiny bit more independent. It's all going to get better and better!

I can't advise on the sleep though - my solution is decent vitamins for me and good make up because I definitely need it!!

My 1st was exactly the same as yours! Never played with toys just wanted to be physical, zero attention span for TV (didn’t like sitting down!), didn’t sleep for long at night, super clingy (not in a cute way!), nicer person when outside!!

We spent a lot of time at the park. He ran around & I just followed him!

Two things that come to mind:
Only thing he ever played with for 10 mins was a big tray filled with dry porridge oats & little cars / diggers

I joined a gym with a crèche. I probably felt like you are now, so I ended up going most mornings & he went to crèche, even if it was just to have a shower & dry my hair! That killed until 11, so by the time we got home it was lunch and nap (for all of 45 mins) then we only had the afternoon to fill. Any possibility of that near you?

He is 4 now & is still “extra” compared to the personality of my 18 month old.

@pregnantmummy22

It's just so hard isn't it. Just reading all these responses and how I feel myself looking after my two year old is brutal.

I don't look forward to weekends at all.

How do stay and home parents do this ??

When I heard about the extra bank holidays this year, my first thought was “urgh really?”