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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To quit my job

40 replies

Rosebel · 07/02/2022 08:54

I'm pretty sure IABU to want to quit my job. I hate it so much and it's just getting worse. I h3a knot on my stomach every morning of work and cry the night before. It takes an hour for me to calm down after work.
My husband doesn't want me to leave. Ideally he doesn't want me to leave at all, because the only good thing about the job is the hours. However if I did get another job he'd be be okay with that.
I'm trying to apply for jobs but between moving house, work and looking after my toddler I don't have much time for application forms and so many jobs require that alongside a CV.
I actually know I'm being unreasonable leaving without a new job but nice to have a rant.

OP posts:

TabithaTittlemouse · 07/02/2022 09:07

I couldn’t without another job lined up. That would scare me!

akissbeforebed · 07/02/2022 09:12

Could you register with an agency and let them do all the hard work? Do these types of agencies still exist?

MeanderingGently · 07/02/2022 09:13

Honestly, if the job is affecting you that much, just quit. Really, you can do a better application for your next job without all the stress you are currently under.

Wasitworthita · 07/02/2022 09:15

Don’t leave.

start looking around
try to find one thing each day you do like
picture you going into work and things going well and you feeling happier
Get another job

girlmom21 · 07/02/2022 09:16

What do you hate about it?

Original poster

Rosebel · 07/02/2022 09:38

What do I hate? Everything except for my actual colleagues. Management are awful, morale is zero, targets are high, management moan but don't actually help, no consideration if you are ill or have a long term condition.
I've been there 3 and 1/2 years and was talking to a colleague who started same time as me and between us could name 30 people including management who have quit in that time. Really tells you everything.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rosebel · 07/02/2022 09:39

Although as I said I do know it's probably unreasonable to quit without a new job

OP posts:

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 07/02/2022 09:43

What are the hours?

If you use a site like Indeed you only need to upload your CV once & write a broad covering letter that you can just adapt slightly for each application (if needed).

Snakeplisskensmum · 07/02/2022 09:47

I quit without a new job, don't regret it for a second! It's a really old way of thinking, that you need another job before you quit (finances depending of course). In fact, I've quit three times without another job (I'm old) and I have never had any issue getting another. Reasonable people accept that sometimes things just don't work out and it's not necessarily your fault.

Original poster

Rosebel · 07/02/2022 09:53

@BernardsarenotalwaysSaints

What are the hours?

If you use a site like Indeed you only need to upload your CV once & write a broad covering letter that you can just adapt slightly for each application (if needed).

My CV is on Indeed but when you apply lots of jobs then you send you an application form. Never understand why when they ask for exactly the same information as on your CV. I'm working 3 in the morning until 10 and it's not especially long hours but the early starts can be a bit of a nightmare

OP posts:

lovemelongtime · 07/02/2022 09:54

I guess it might come down to money - can you afford to go without work for a month or two?
If so, definitely quite - you have got a lot going on and could prob do with the time to sort new house etc.. I have only once done it - but felt the same as you - I got into the office one day and decided my life and sanity was worth more so jsut went and handed my notice in. The relief was amazing.

girlmom21 · 07/02/2022 09:55

Are you happy to work longer hours if it's nights or whatever? Have you tried the ambulance service call centres?

BobLemon · 07/02/2022 09:58

Is it a call centre?

stuntbubbles · 07/02/2022 10:02

Can you plonk money into savings and go freelance? Plonk money into savings and quit and devote yourself to job-hunting intensively, knowing you’ve got 3 months of bills saved? Get signed off with stress and use the time to find another job?

Original poster

Rosebel · 07/02/2022 10:05

I'm very tempted to go off sick with stress but we don't get sick pay so would just be SSP which isn't really enough. I suggested it to my husband and he said no.
It's retail.

OP posts:

Alfiemoon1 · 07/02/2022 10:08

I feel the same in my job dh is telling me to quit we can afford for me to be out of work for a bit but i would feel bad about not working
I have been applying for other jobs but think they will just be the same but worse hours

Would recommend registering with total jobs and indeed

AdmiralCain · 07/02/2022 10:10

I was in the same boat as you. I just handed my notice in. No new job to go to. Yeah I shit myself but I've been offered 4 jobs in one week. My happiness has gone through the roof and everyone's noticed it.

With respect to everyone saying don't leave, they're not walking a mile in your shoes and crying everynight and the benefits it will have on your toddler with your attachment when your happier will be profound. Good luck!

FranklySonImTheGaffer · 07/02/2022 10:12

While it's good to have your DH on board, it isn't actually up to him. He doesn't have to work your hours in your work place so pushing you to continue when he knows how effects you is really unfair I think.

Why do you need these particular hours? If it's related to childcare, can you suggest your DH works the unsociable hours and you'll get something with normal office hours?

I think working 3-10 is having a big impact. I've worked nights before and it really effected every other part of my life. Some people are fine but not everyone.

Either way, you need to look elsewhere for work. I know retail is hard at the moment - could you do something different (call centre, waitress, cleaning)?

stuntbubbles · 07/02/2022 10:14

Why is your husband the boss of whether you get signed off with stress? It’s a medical issue. You don’t need his permission to call the GP about this. And you definitely need better hours.

Tohaveandtohold · 07/02/2022 10:40

To those saying she does not need her husband’s input, as a family unit, both parties need to be on board. We don’t know the op’s financial situation. If she quits, it’s possible that her husband can’t pay all the bills alone without them getting into debts so he definitely should have a say. I won’t just accept if my DH wants to quit their work without a back up plan.
He’s not telling her not to quit, he just wants her to find another job which I feel is reasonable.
If your job is causing you this much stress then life is too short for that. However can you take some time off even if it’s paid to look for something else. That way, you still have your job in case you don’t get something. Those hours you currently do is hard to come by however are you willing to compromise on the hours, etc. Can you take just any job, can you reduce your hours, etc

girlmom21 · 07/02/2022 10:41

@stuntbubbles

Why is your husband the boss of whether you get signed off with stress? It’s a medical issue. You don’t need his permission to call the GP about this. And you definitely need better hours.

Well it depends whether she's actually sick, doesn't it?

The financial burden falls to him and if they can't afford it and she's not actually stressed enough to be signed off it's unfair.

AgnesNaismith · 07/02/2022 10:43

YANBU no job is worth that feeling. Just put your CV on Reed or give it to a few good recruiters and get out as soon as you can x

WaterBottle123 · 07/02/2022 10:43

Your husband LIKES you working these hours? Presumably because you then provide free childcare for his child all day and he doesn't have to worry? Meanwhile you must be exhausted?

GeneLovesJezebel · 07/02/2022 10:43

My DH felt like this when he was starting with anxiety.
Are you anxious in any other areas of life ?

girlmom21 · 07/02/2022 10:45

@WaterBottle123

Your husband LIKES you working these hours? Presumably because you then provide free childcare for his child all day and he doesn't have to worry? Meanwhile you must be exhausted?

If she does 3am-10am presumably he's doing the mornings with the children

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