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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To quit my job

40 replies

Rosebel · 07/02/2022 08:54

I'm pretty sure IABU to want to quit my job. I hate it so much and it's just getting worse. I h3a knot on my stomach every morning of work and cry the night before. It takes an hour for me to calm down after work.
My husband doesn't want me to leave. Ideally he doesn't want me to leave at all, because the only good thing about the job is the hours. However if I did get another job he'd be be okay with that.
I'm trying to apply for jobs but between moving house, work and looking after my toddler I don't have much time for application forms and so many jobs require that alongside a CV.
I actually know I'm being unreasonable leaving without a new job but nice to have a rant.

OP posts:

FrownedUpon · 07/02/2022 10:46

You’re going to get really unwell if you carry on like that. It’s obviously making your life miserable. I’d hand my notice in & then really focus on new applications/retraining.

stuntbubbles · 07/02/2022 10:46

@Tohaveandtohold I agree, which is why I’ve largely phrased it as questioning – we need much more info on all the circumstances to be able to advise, really. But the OP phrased it as asking her DH, and him saying no - which doesn’t sound like a partnership.

Anniegetyourgun76 · 07/02/2022 10:49

It's risky to leave without another role unless you're sure you can afford to be out of work for a bit but definitely put a plan in place to leave asap, work should never make you feel like this and it will only get worse xx

girlmama22 · 07/02/2022 10:51

Honestly your mental health is more important than any job and it sounds like it's really affecting you. Could you take a weeks holiday and spend that week focusing on applying for as many jobs as you can? I wouldn't leave without something to go to as that's a massive financial risk but places are crying out for staff atm there will be something else out there for you.

Livebythecoast · 07/02/2022 10:52

I would only quit if I had a good amount of savings to get by for the time being. You can do a C.V on somewhere like Indeed and apply for as many jobs with that tailoring your C.V to each job and register for job alerts.
It's horrible having a crap job where it affects your mental wellbeing and you feel anxious going in (I've been there as I'm sure many have). Work shouldn't have that affect on you.
Wishing you the best in whatever you decide to do

Livebythecoast · 07/02/2022 10:55

Sorry, I missed your post about already having you CV on Indeed . I haven't usually had to fill out another application form, just a covering letter with my CV. Depends what jobs you're going for like NHS jobs sometimes direct you to their website.

Calmdown14 · 07/02/2022 11:05

What hours could you work? This is presumably to fit round childcare? How old are they so how long until nursery hours?
Do you like retail or would you look to change? Care work has many vacancies and unsociable hours which may actually be a benefit to you? Or hospitality.
Does it need to be early morning or just not certain core hours?

anon12345678901 · 07/02/2022 11:13

Have you signed up to agencies? They don't require you to fill in application forms for each job as far As I can remember? If financially you can't afford to quit nor go sick, you'll have to stick it out until you find a new role. It's not fair to either quit or go sick leaving him with the full financial burden.

Original poster

Rosebel · 07/02/2022 11:22

My husband likes me working these hours because we only have to pay for 2 hours of childcare a day, not because he likes seeing me tired.
I really want to go back to childcare, I loved doing that and retail was only meant to be short term but then I got pregnant and Covid hit so it was safer (from job security point) to stay.
I'd be happy doing more hours in a job I enjoy despite the fact it would obviously push the childcare costs up.
My older children are teenagers so no childcare there but youngest is 20 months so no free hours until next September (2023) because of where his birthday falls.
I know my husband can't actually stop me getting signed off but it would just cause an atmosphere and argument. Stress at work is bad enough without having it at home too.
We probably have enough savings for a month of bills but that's not really enough. I just don't know what to do for the best.
I have suffered from depression before and it was horrible and lonely. I can feel myself slipping back there and really trying to fight it. I can't believe a job can cause so much stress.

OP posts:

2DogsOnMySofa · 07/02/2022 11:25

I quit, in your circumstances once, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I had a job offer within a week so I had 2 weeks off then able to work. It really isn't worth your mental health sometimes.

But be prepared to do anything just to keep the money coming in. I got a job in my sector but I had lined up some driving work if that didn't pan out

IloveJudgeJudy · 07/02/2022 15:07

@Rosebel you work in retail. Don't you get 1 week's sick pay for every year you've worked there? Is it one of the big 4 supermarkets?

Original poster

Rosebel · 07/02/2022 15:45

Yes it is and we never get any sick pay apart from SSP

OP posts:

IloveJudgeJudy · 07/02/2022 16:24

If it's Tesco, you get 3 waiting days, then one week of sick pay for every year you've worked for them.

Original poster

Rosebel · 08/02/2022 13:24

No it's not Tesco.

OP posts:

Gillyx · 09/02/2022 07:47

Could you take a day or two off work and apply for lots of jobs on indeed? I have a covering letter that I tweak for each job. Application forms are often the same questions so once I’ve written an answer I copy it to a word document so every application is quicker & easier because I have a bank of answers. I hope this helps and that you find a nice job soon!

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