AIBU to be furious at DH? Car insurance lapsed

[ZellyFitzgerald]

I'm willing to be told I'm over reacting to this situation, but I really don't think I am?!

DH was in charge of sorting out the car insurance this year. I've been busy with a new job and also unwell, so I specifically asked him to sort out all car related stuff (road tax, MOT, insurance etc). The car is in my name with him as a named driver, so I gave him the renewal documents and asked him to research quotes and renew with current insurer if it was the best deal, which can be done online. I reminded him a few times in the weeks leading up to the expiry date too.

Today I was checking through our bank account and it struck me as odd that the payment hadn't gone out yet. So I asked DH if he had definitely renewed the insurance. He insisted he had. I had a bad feeling so I asked him to show me the confirmation, and it turns out it hadn't been done!!!

We have both been driving an uninsured car for 5 days! Car is now insured, but I'm absolutely furious at DH for his incompetence in such an important matter. Also, if I hadn't queried it, this could have ended up with one of us being pulled over and arrested, or hitting another car without insurance.

I'm so angry at him and disappointed. DH really doesn't seem that bothered and seems to think I'm over reacting, but I think this is a big deal. I've told him that going forward all important things such as this and house insurance need to be dealt with by me. He disagrees and thinks I'm being too hard on him. AIBU?

I’ve said YABU because he’s managed to shunt the shite back on to you!

Strategic incompetence

@WulyJmpr

He wins. No longer has to take on any house admin.

Indeed. Nice trick he's pulled there.

DH and I tag team. I set up recurring reminders in my calendar and then remind DH. He knows all of the details better than I do. Then I remind him every 3 and a half seconds until its done. I check it's been done and save the paperwork into the reminder for the following year and in the relevant computer folder. I also look at the cost and budget for the following years renewal. He is rubbish at remembering to do things but will happily do them.

I would be cross if it were my DH. He has two jobs and needs to be able to drive to both. Public transport isn't an option. Clearly though your DH needs the practice and should be doing all of it. Just keep checking and don't let it slip off your radar.

Ooh. Weaponised incompetence. Instead of angrily heaping all of the household admin onto your own plate, give him more until he can get it right. He's a whole damn adult all by himself and you aren't his mum, his secretary or his built in damage control.

My proposed solution to this kind of fuckwittery would be to give him only 'menial' tasks from now on so that you have the time and head space to do the 'grown-up' jobs. So he now has to do all the laundry and the loading/emptying the dishwasher and anything else that you might otherwise be doing, but that doesn't involve any use of his brain, so that you have the capacity to do the less-frequent, but more important jobs.

That way you can be sure that the big things get done but he doesn't get out of doing anything simply because he's too much of a twit to be relied upon.