Curious ...wpuld social services get involved

[Newbabynewhouse]

Hypothetically, if a mother decided to leave her family for a break away through depression..just upped and left for a week without notice then came back, would child services get involved?

If a man was to walk away and leave their family for a week unplanned and then come back a week later an eyelid wouldnt be batted would it?...

Only if they were left alone?

But leaving without notice for a week it would be a really shitty thing to do to children

Yes this… shitty for a mother and father. Especially if the children are old enough to worry.

If my partner up and left with no notice or explanation I think I'd be calling the police as I'd be beside myself with worry

I suppose now that I think about it, I have encountered situations through my work where children's services was called on a mother for leaving her kids. Once a woman dropped them off at an ex- boyfriend's house (not the father). He cared for them for a month or so, but when she didn't return he called. He ended up keeping them through a formal foster care arrangement.

And once the mother asked the neighbor to babysit and didn't come back. The neighbor called police after a couple days and they called children's services.

But I have no doubt that if the sexes had been reversed that children's services would have been called in the fathers as well.

You haven't given enough context, namely what childcare has been arranged.

Why do I feel like the childcare is your son/brother and they have parental responsibility.

@steff13 Who would report this though? And, even if it was reported, I think children's services is unlikely to care.

I guess that if it was in relation to a domestic dispute between mother and father then it is always a possibility that the father could report her for "negligence" just out of sheer spite.

@ShallWeTalkAboutBruno

But leaving without notice for a week it would be a really shitty thing to do to children

Yes this… shitty for a mother and father. Especially if the children are old enough to worry.

This is what stopped me from doing it when I was at the end of my rope. Knowing how upset my DCs would be, especially my eldest who is autistic and very attached to me. He would have been devastated and the ripple effect would have been felt for years.

Social services wouldn’t care as long as the children were safe and with a responsible adult.

It’s a shitty thing to do though. Going away with work is not the same as disappearing with no notice, regardless of gender.

I guess that if it was in relation to a domestic dispute between mother and father then it is always a possibility that the father could report her for "negligence" just out of sheer spite.

But, if the mother went away for week and left the children with, say, their grandmother, CS isn't going to be interested regardless of whether it's reported.

SS didn't care when my sibling left their baby with me for an hour and still weren't back 5 days later.

They came round with baby food and nappies and said to contact them if I need more. They phoned my sibling when they got back and that was it.

@steff13 But, if the mother went away for week and left the children with, say, their grandmother, CS isn't going to be interested regardless of whether it's reported.

True 👍

If a parent just ‘disappeared’ due to depression, then I imagine there would be a huge concern for welfare, you would be reported missing, police would be appealing for the public to help look for you, they would be using words like ‘vulnerable’ etc.

Very traumatic for the children and everyone who cares about that person left behind wondering what has happened and imagining the worst.

When you reappear a week later (or are found) I can’t imagine you would just be allowed to just pick up where you left off like nothing happened, without people asking some questions about your mental state. There may be concerns you would do the same again in the future, impact on the kids of the instability and trauma of worrying about their mother unnecessarily etc.

When you reappear a week later (or are found) I can’t imagine you would just be allowed to just pick up where you left off like nothing happened, without people asking some questions about your mental state. There may be concerns you would do the same again in the future, impact on the kids of the instability and trauma of worrying about their mother unnecessarily etc.

On second thought, I completely agree with this. I didn't even consider the aftermath of such actions. A week is a long period of time. Questions would definitely be asked, those of which you would be obliged to answer.

Assuming the children are left with a responsible adult, and there are no concerns over the welfare of the mother, then no reason for social services to be involved.

@steff13

I think, perhaps, this is the key issue isn't it? The bar for fathers is so low that of dad disappeared for a week nobody would report. CSC isn't the issue, it's society's expectations.

Who would report this though? And, even if it was reported, I think children's services is unlikely to care.

Father was my thoughts.

Not as long as the children weren’t at significant risk of harm or left alone then no

School safeguarding lead here.
If the children were left in the care of a trusted adult who had agreed in advance to take responsibility for them then I agree with PP, Children's Services wouldn't be interested. However, if a parent just upped and left without telling anyone, then even if the DC were safe and with a trusted adult, that would be a concern. For one thing, the parent would most likely be reported to the Police as missing and there would be concern for their emotional stability and whether they might be at risk of harming themselves. It could also be argued that upping and leaving without explanation is "emotional abuse" due to the level of distress this would most likely cause the DC.
If a child at school told a Teacher that their DM had left and they didn't know where she was or when she was coming back, this would be logged as a safeguarding concern and reported to me. I would call home and speak to the other parent to find out what was going on and offer support. Whether I would then refer the matter to CS or not would depend largely on what the other parent had to tell me, how they appeared to be coping and the reasons for the DM leaving. The age of the DC might also be a factor.

There are really far too many variables to say whether or not Children's Services would take any action based on the limited info in the OP.

I do think that if either parent is the main carer and then just disappears for a week without telling the other parent where they are then it's reasonable to have some questions about their state of mind and the safety of the children on their return. If not the main carer then less so. I'm not sure about SS, it might depend on whether there was any previous involvement and whether or not they trusted the other parent to risk assess the situation.

But, if the mother went away for week and left the children with, say, their grandmother, CS isn't going to be interested regardless of whether it's reported.

Again, it depends on the context.

DM drops the DC at GM's house (who has agreed to take care of them) having made sure they have everything they need for the week and GM can get them to and from school. Not a safeguarding issue, no risk of harm, not a matter for CS.

DM drops the DC at GM's completely unannounced and drives off, leaving them distressed and wondering when or if she's coming back. Kids arrive at school late the next day (because GM lives miles away or doesn't doesn't drive) and not in uniform (because it's all at home) and tell a member of staff they're staying with GM and they have no idea where DM is or when she's coming back. School have no choice but to contact Children's Services.

I’m not sure what you’re getting at?

Any parent who left their children alone for a week without a capable adult to look after them would probably be charged with neglect, regardless of which parent they were. Any parent who went away and left their children with the other parent or another capable adult for a week would not attract the attention of social services, whether they were the mum or dad.

Any parent who just disappeared without telling anyone where they were would almost certainly be reported to the police as a missing person. Again, though, not a gender issue and nothing to do with social services.

My sister done this once when she was at the end of her tether with her son and wasn’t coping she dropped him to my mums knocked on the door and left! Social never got involved as my mum wouldn’t ring them so this question is odd ss won’t necessarily get involved if it was a woman either?

My kids school says we have to legally tell them and the local authority if they are left with others who aren’t their parents for more than 28 days in a row. This is seen as private fostering. So assume a week is ok if they are being looked after by a responsible adult

My ex-husband did in fact leave a 16-year-old a 14-year-old and a 12-year-old on their own unattended for three days while he went off to a work conference social services immediate response was to phone me and demand that I came back from wherever I was rather than phone him and tell him what the hell were you thinking.

@neverbeenskiing, I agree with what you've said. There's the aspect of possible DV, prompting the fleeing, or she's been killed.
If a woman did that it would be a welfare concern. But they do put pictures out of younger men who've only been missing for a few days, as well.

Totally depends on the situation. Child safe, noone concerned about the parent, it is likely to be fine. But if the child is thought to be at risk, or people are concerned about the missing adult, intervention is more likely.

This is a local story where the father is being accused of neglect from the football on Friday