To feel scared of family court?

[Anon778833]

I've posted about my ex a lot and I've tried really hard to get on with him without having to go to court but it's impossible. At what point do you decide it's best to get something legal in place?

We have a 2 year old daughter. I have ongoing problems with him including him trying to talk to me all day every day, hugging me at hand overs. He also blows up at me over things to do with our daughter. Every time she hurts herself, it's my fault. If she has a cold he's harassing me about what to do to treat it and telling me not to let her eat x, y or z.

I asked him to use My Family Wizard which is a court approved app and he refuses.

He's a covid denier / anti vaxxer. Our daughter has had covid symptoms the last week and I took her for a PCR test as there has been an outbreak at nursery. He's blown up at me about that.

In addition, he is supposed to collect our daughter every Saturday and bring her back on Sundays. Every week, I ask him what time he is picking her up and he says he doesn't know. He ends up picking her up a different time every week.

I've had enough of the stress he causes me and he makes me feel unwell. I'm also autistic and I don't cope very well with emotional stress.

I've heard so many bad stories about FC and how judges are often biased against women that I'm reluctant to do that but I can't see any other way that I can get him out if my life and texts and still have a relationship with our daughter.

@Itsnotover

Yes *@Oldtiredfedup*, I agree. There is no reason why he should object to the app. He’s come up with a new objection now - it’s ‘American’ 🤔

I’ve shown some of the recent emails to people and they think the tone is threatening. Eg ‘DD IS NOT TO HAVE ANY PROCEDURE WITHOUT MY CONSENT, GOT IT?’

Yes it’s threatening . Good that he’s putting all this in writing.

I trust you are not replying to the emails and only using the app?

Did you speak to any of the helplines about his stalking behaviour ?

Set up an automated reply to his emails detailing the app you wish him to go through

I was in & out of FC numerous times over a 3 year period. In principle it works but practically it doesn’t. Ultimately they want you to work out the arrangements and once they’re agreed they get broken anyway and the court aren’t really interested and it is actually more stressful and expensive

@Theunamedcat

Set up an automated reply to his emails detailing the app you wish him to go through

How do you set up automated replies? Yes I’m not responding to him and have blocked him on texts / WhatsApp etc.

Who is your email provider?

TBF you don't need to

He will be literally hoping mad you aren't responding.

Please go back and write down details of all prior incidents of his stalking and harassing behaviour as I think you will end up needing a restraining order on him.

It’s iCloud. I have heard that judges won’t give restraining orders unless there is evidence that physical harm is likely.

Ot would be a non molestation order not a restraining order but you are only likely to get one if there is proved history of domestic abuse. Text messages emails etc don’t count as although they are unwanted they don’t prove your are in any danger unless they make direct threats to your safety obviously & there needs to be many of those as people make threats in anger etc.

Just to add harassment is a criminal offence so unless you contact the police & he is arrested or prosecuted for it a magistrate in FC won’t be interested in reading texts or emails from him. I know this because I have been through it personally

I'm more concerned about the stalking behaviour- ambushing you places. This is why it's worth writing it all down now and speaking to suzi lamplugh trust if it escalates.

Just call the police if you’re worried about your safety

Not RTFT but family court worked for me and wasn't as daunting as I expected. Cafcass were initially shit and dismissive but I challenged them and their attitude changed. Then how I said my ex would behave actually came true which added weight to my case.
I know they get a bad press but the best thing I did was go to court.

@Nothingsfine

Not RTFT but family court worked for me and wasn't as daunting as I expected. Cafcass were initially shit and dismissive but I challenged them and their attitude changed. Then how I said my ex would behave actually came true which added weight to my case. I know they get a bad press but the best thing I did was go to court.

I'm glad it worked out well for you in the end. How were cafcass dismissive?

He's never been physically violent in any way. Which is why I don't think anything will be done about the stalking. I've not seen him around here. As far as I'm aware, FC is only there to make sure the child has a relationship with both parents. Which doesn't particularly help when one parent is abusive to the other.

He is now sending me photos of where he's had a biopsy presumably to make me feel bad. I think I've found a way to block the emails. Fingers crossed.

He was complaining that he won't use the app because he has to pay for it. So I've told him I'll pay for it so he can't use that excuse any more.

How is he sending you photos?

How did he complain about paying for the app?

Unless you get a message on the app completely ignore abs do not respond.

Those photos could be pulled off the internet anyway, or photo shopped. Regardless not your issue just block and ignore.

He is emailing them to me. I can't block his emails on iCloud which is so frustrating. Does anyone know how I can do this?

Also he's started phoning me from withheld numbers

I guess don't answer from withheld numbers and look at getting a new number.

Dismissive about his alcoholism and inconsistency in seeing the DC.

My friend has been waiting for 8 months for an out patient appointment for skin cancer. So I’d love to know how he got one in a few days.

@M0RVEN

My friend has been waiting for 8 months for an out patient appointment for skin cancer. So I’d love to know how he got one in a few days.

He went to a private clinic. I think it definitely is him in the photo. Obviously I hope he doesn't have skin cancer but I don't think I should have to put up with him blowing up at me. And his health isn't really relevant in that a health scare doesn't entitle him to upset me all week all the time.

He's still emailing me but I'm just not responding.

He has far too much time on his hands!!

You do a new thread on geeky with help to block his emails and set up an auto reply to him.