To ask my dad to stop telling me about my brother?

[TonksInPurple]

I am no contact with my brother as is my dad, but he has friends who hear everything that is going on in b’s life. He insists on telling me all about b regularly and I find it really hard b is a high earner, big house lots of extended family, life of luxury. I am a single parent of one, low earner, no friends not how I thought my life would end up, brother is a narcissist and all round horrible person yet has this wonderful life. It crushes me every time I have have to hear about him. I know DF will kick
Off if I ask him not to share the gossip. I usually put every one else first but feel like I need to put my foot down on this.

If your B has gone NC with your DF and your DF likes to talk about him with you maybe it helps your DF.

Thats awful for you, and your poor dad, still so attached to his son and his life. Can you have a conversation with your dad telling him how you feel? You dont need to hear this forevermore

I have this issue. My dad went NC with me. Basically rejected me, it is still painful 20 years later
I struggle as my lovely DSIL will keep mentioning stuff about him. Makes a point on updating me about his health- but I can’t do anything as I’m not allowed to get in touch. Especially hard as she’s always called him “Dad”. My DB tried to give me a card from my dad at Xmas for instance, which my dad still sends twice a year for 20 years ( don’t ask it’s a blame aversion / denial thing). Even though I have asked them both to stop they forget. They’re not doing it deliberately, just they don’t understand how painful it is for me especially when it comes out of the blue and I’m not ready to think about it. I can’t get angry with them as they’re otherwise lovely…

@Thehop

God this is me! My brothers life has golden sun shining on it and he’s the worst person I’ve ever met.

I sound about 5, but sometimes I want to stamp my feet and shout “not fair not fair”

I absolutely sympathise op

Absolutely - I could have written the OP, as this is exactly my experience too. Except my parents aren’t NC, but they have finally had their eyes open to what he is actually like. It is almost laughable that as soon as it was directed at them too, they could see how I was treated by him my whole life. They now agree that he is a bully, aggressive and narcissistic - but he is their successful, wealthy, powerful first born. It is soul destroying.

@Thehop @N0Name thanks I always worry about sharing this as I know I sound about 5, but it’s so hard I try to do my best (have a car full of kids to take to football this morning etc) he does nothing and people worship him, he’s younger but yes has typical older child personality and I think lots of his anger to me was not being the oldest as he wanted to be the first and the best to do everything.