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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the noisy obnoxious pair next to me to be quiet at hospital?

39 replies

cultkid · 04/02/2022 13:23

Or go to the midwives and ask them to sort it out?

Her partner is burping like a pig and they are arguing about her going to a mother and baby unit? He wants to bond with the baby she wants to stay in the unit. The conversation is so humiliating to hear. She was kicked out of hospital for being drunk but said she wants a bottle of wine to partner. She needs support but I really don't want to hear this. She is talking SO loud. Can I go and tell the midwives without sounding like a whinge?

I'm so exhausted and sick I think I'm being irritable and emotional

OP posts:
MayThePawsBeWithYou · 04/02/2022 13:25

Yes go and speak to the staff. The patients dont need to listen to this shite.

Workinghardeveryday · 04/02/2022 13:26

Say something!!! They sound terrible. Don’t put up with it!!

Datada · 04/02/2022 13:27

As above, ask the staff, you don't need them attacking you.

Mamamamasaurus · 04/02/2022 13:27

Sounds like an episode of Jeremy Kyle. Speak to someone, they sound awful

ChittyBangs · 04/02/2022 13:27

Christ yeah speak to midwives

irrate · 04/02/2022 13:27

Go and tell the midwives about them. you are entitled to peace and quiet and honestly they are both acting like ass holes.

I had young mum beside me when I had dd and she was told several times by nurses to switch her phone off and stop making noise at all hours of the day she was constantly on to boyfriend giving out cause he wasn't speaking to her at 3am...I ended up tell her to shut up and let the rest of us sleep!

FelicityPike · 04/02/2022 13:29

I think you need to tell the midwives exactly what you’ve written here.
This woman (and her baby) needs helped.

Georgeskitchen · 04/02/2022 13:32

Is the partner there 24/7? And if so, why?

SpikeDearheart · 04/02/2022 13:33

You poor thing, not what you need at all! I had a similar neighbour on the postnatal ward and although I did feel sorry for her as she was obviously vulnerable, her behaviour and that of her visitors was dreadful and I've never been so glad to leave a place. I wish I'd asked the midwives to intervene, and I hope yours can secure you some respite as well as better support for her.

Original poster
cultkid · 04/02/2022 13:33

I feel like they will think I'm a knob for complaining, I will go and tell them. Idk what to say I hope I don't cry I'm so emotional atm. I know everyone has their issues and is entitled to have a visitor but I literally have my phone on silent and send texts my husband doesn't come in and if he did he would drop a bag and go. Lady opposite me also said I have to go when she was on the phone. I don't know if I'm being a judgemental prick, or she's being an obnoxious twat. She sounds like she has LD but but still don't want to hear her awful attitude about getting pissed with her baby. And I don't want to hear her boyfriend either.

How do I even ask the midwives

OP posts:
YeOldeTrout · 04/02/2022 13:35

That sounds tough. The only thing that would comfort me is knowing they aren't actually in my life, I don't have those problems.

Original poster
cultkid · 04/02/2022 13:35

Ive only been here 1.5 hours but I'm so poorly and she's been on the phone or with him the entire time. He's plugged his watch in his phone in and he's eating so I'm guessing he is here for a while

I don't want to hear her issues I have my own to juggle. Lady opposite me and I caught each other's eyes.. we are shocked

I just don't want to hear her not even for five minutes

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/02/2022 13:35

What the hell is it with maternity wards these days? They should be quiet restful places - at the inevitable noise from babies of course. Women who’ve just given birth primarily need to rest, not have it all made worse by sleep deprivation.

There should also be sufficient staff to assist with babies if needed during the night in particular to aid sleep and recovery. It’s not bloody rocket science.

Teaforme123 · 04/02/2022 13:44

Yes you must speak to the midwives. Or ask to be moved. I had that too, bloody couple were absolutely vile, took baby outside and got stoned! We told the staff. Has she just had the baby? They must know her alcohol problems if she was moved. At the very least they should tell partner to leave he's being disruptive. Good luck.

Original poster
cultkid · 04/02/2022 13:55

Went right to the midwives office after I posted that and when I was walking out the woman opposite me was in the hallway. We went together to the midwives office.
They are treating that lady with medicine and vitamins for people who abuse alcohol so they know she's abusing alcohol.
The midwife came in to talk to her and her partner, But they were being quiet when she came in.
If they start arguing again and calls her a crack head then I'll go to the office again 😕 so annoying
The woman next to me who's really awful also keeps pulling the curtain too much so there's no curtain between us.

Lady opposite me going to be induced soon so I'll be lumped in here alone with the people next to me making a racket

OP posts:
Etinoxaurus · 04/02/2022 13:57

Poor woman, she sounds so vulnerable.
But that doesn’t trump your right to privacy and quiet. If you can’t face asking yourself, can anyone do so for you? A phone call to the desk saying security needs calling? Demanding you in and eye contact woman moved?
Flowers

Etinoxaurus · 04/02/2022 13:59
Flowers Cross posted. Hope you get some peace. Can you explicitly ask to be moved?
Teaforme123 · 04/02/2022 13:59

Could you ask partner to bring you some earphones?! People are so inconsiderate! Well done for bringing it up hopefully it won't last too long.

TyrannosaurusRegina · 04/02/2022 14:27

Women need to be writing in letters of complaint every time that they're disturbed by visitors. If the NHS receives letters daily up and down the country, it might make them implement a few changes.

crosstalk · 04/02/2022 14:55

Poor you. But worth it for you and soon to be induced mum to address the midwives.

And also poor baby with an alcoholic mother. It may already have FAS and a hard life ahead.

If it doesn't work, then write to the Patient Advisory Service.

Lampshading · 04/02/2022 14:57

It sounds like she needs help and he is being obstructive to this. I'd talk to the midwives because no, you shouldn't have to listen to that, but it sounds like she also need support.

Original poster
cultkid · 04/02/2022 15:12

Her boyfriend is now on the phone on loudspeaker

So frustrating

They have told them to be quiet and they know they are awful but it seems there's nowhere to put them

I am sick to the back teeth of visitors on maternity wards
Its such a private time why are there so many men here

OP posts:
MayThePawsBeWithYou · 04/02/2022 15:16

Why cant they ask him to leave if he is disturbing others, you can speak to the staff again and say you want to call PALS if its not dealt with. The staff are in a difficult position and should not discuss her alcholol problems or treatment but he doesnt need to be on the ward.

Giraffesandbottoms · 04/02/2022 15:27

Are you in the antenatal
Or post natal ward? Either way you shouldn’t have to tolerate this (although if there’s no space I don’t have any answers)

Topseyt · 04/02/2022 15:28

Call PALS. I suspect it is the arsehole boyfriend that they need to get rid of. If he goes then many of the other problems will probably subside.

Why is he being allowed to stay there anyway? He sounds like more trouble than he is worth.