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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh the pain

28 replies

Wendysdoll · 02/02/2022 07:08

I had recently had a coil fitted following a miscarriage.

I’d heard the media hype last year about pain relief being available and how traumatic some women found it.

Well can I just say, that it was the most painful thing I’ve had done in a very long while. The nurses gave me a numbing gel but it didn’t help at all

They laughed about the comments some women made that they felt violated - but you know something I totally get why they felt that way!

I was gripping onto the bed for dear life and thought I would feint.

Anyone else experienced this or am I just being precious

OP posts:
Original poster
Wendysdoll · 02/02/2022 07:09

I should add, we’ve no children yet so I’ve yet to experience the pain of birth Blush

OP posts:
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 02/02/2022 07:14

I'm 46 and had painful periods for over 30 years , the medical profession very keen to suggest the coil more times than I've had hot dinners .
I can't see how shoving a foreign object up there would help. And a friend of mine describing the pain put me off for life .

UltraVividLament · 02/02/2022 07:14

Of course you're not being precious. You're describing something very painful. Do I understand you correctly that the nurse doing the procedure was laughing about women finding it painful??

emsmar · 02/02/2022 07:19

I had one when I was younger. It was placed after a termination, gave it 9 months and ended up having it taken out because I was in so much pain all the time. Was sore getting it out!

Since having a kid though, it was recommended again, decided to go for it, and it's honestly brilliant. Very little pain. Scared to get it taken out though because ifs been in for so long now. 7 years....

Original poster
Wendysdoll · 02/02/2022 07:20

Yes I’d commented that naga munchetty had spoken about it and she said she felt violated.

They laughed at that and said people need to get a grip

OP posts:
Somebodylikeyew · 02/02/2022 07:23

I am so sorry it was traumatic. Honestly I would complain about her behaviour.

My GP doesn’t recommend the coil for women who haven’t had children, because the cervix has never had to dilate and apparently (and understandably) that makes it much more painful. My childless friend asked about it but was declined.

I’ve had kids and I’m too scared to try the coil cos of what I’ve read!

hellcatspangle · 02/02/2022 07:23

I guess everyone has a different experience - just a brief twinge of pain for me and the fact that it's stopped my horrendous periods that were really affecting my life means it was worth it.

trevthecat · 02/02/2022 07:29

I was told I needed to go under general to have one fitted, 3 people tried, cervix was to the side. One nurse said she would have a go, It was horrific. She was proud she got it in. That was 4 years ago and although I've had no periods, I have other side effects which are taking over my life. They won't remove it because covid

CRbear · 02/02/2022 07:37

Loved mine! The insertion was unpleasant bhr manageable- Two x two second bursts of excruciating pain but a friend had warned me. I’d have cried if they hadn’t it would have been such a shock! Removal was a walk in the park.

NameChange30 · 02/02/2022 07:39

Sorry for your loss. Of course YANBU to have found the coil fitting painful. And I think you should make a complaint about the nurses' appalling attitude.

Somebodylikeyew
That makes sense. FWIW I've had two children, both vaginal births. I got a coil fitted when my youngest was a few months old, and didn't find it particularly painful - the speculum was very uncomfortable and caused some pain but it was reasonably quick and not too bad. I was told that it was good timing to fit the coil because the cervix is still reasonably soft and open at that stage.

I do think if you've had a vaginal birth it's worth a try as it might not be too bad, but if you haven't it's probably sensible to consider different options.

Another thing - I got my coil fitted at a family planning clinic, as I wanted it to be someone very experienced, rather than at the GP surgery where the nurses might not fit so many.

Soubriquet · 02/02/2022 07:40

They bloody hurt.

When the doctor was about to clamp my cervix, he said “small pinch”

He was lucky he didn’t get a kick in the head to be honest as I yelled that wasn’t a small pinch!

The nurse was gripping my hand and trying to soothe me

Roselilly36 · 02/02/2022 07:42

Absolutely agony for me too, I am on my third and final mirena, this one will take me through the menopause. I have given birth twice, I coped fine with that, didn’t need any pain relief, coil insertion was a whole different ball game. Take care of yourself, I hope you are feeling better soon.

Tiramysu · 02/02/2022 07:43

I've had a few. First one was horrendous. Next two absolutely fine.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 02/02/2022 07:49

I was practically clinging to the ceiling when they did mine.

However I don't think they did it right as I could feel it constantly and had it taken out after 4 or 5 weeks. Never ever again.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 02/02/2022 07:50

Oh and I've given birth twice - second time with 2 paracetamol and some gas and air. So I have a pretty high pain threshold.

BurnDownTheDiscoHangTheDJ · 02/02/2022 07:52

I had one put in pre kids without any pain relief and I almost fainted. Awful. The pain was unholy. The ones I’ve had put in post giving birth, I could hardly feel.

UltraVividLament · 02/02/2022 07:55

That's not great of the nurses to laugh at women who experience excruciating pain, and telling patients to "get a grip" is rubbish. I would make a formal complaint about that. It's ridiculous that women are told they are being unreasonable about reporting their pain and being laughed at for experiencing it.

Workinghardeveryday · 02/02/2022 08:10

@Wendysdoll
I had the coil fitted years ago when dd was about 3. OMG. It was horrendous.

When I left the doctors I sat in the car and burst into tears. It was so painful and I felt so violated.

To add, dd was a big baby, I was very overdue. I only had gas air - but having that coil fitted, obviously not as bad but not far from it!!!

Don’t worry if you want it out in the future, totally painless!!! I only had mine about a year as spiked dp when dtd 😂

Oatsamazing · 02/02/2022 08:37

I went to a sexual health clinic for mine, I thought they'd probably fit lots so it would be less painful. It was just a twinge for me, but I've always had fairly painless smear tests so it may be a personal thing. I've also given birth so that probably made it easier.

fantasmasgoria1 · 02/02/2022 08:40

I'm sorry your experience was not good. I have had 2 mirenaa and it didn't hurt at all.

DropYourSword · 02/02/2022 08:44

I had my first coil fitted before ever having kids. It was fucking agony and remained so for a good 24 hours afterwards.
I've had 2 fitted since giving birth and both times it was only mild discomfort.

It shits me when people dismiss how utterly painful it can be. Why is it so difficult for some people to have empathy.

Isonthecase · 02/02/2022 08:48

Yep, horrendous pre kids but barely even noticed it after them. I also got an absolute shocker of a period right after so suggest stocking up on some heavy duty pads.

Original poster
Wendysdoll · 02/02/2022 09:35

I’m glad I’m not the only one who experienced this. Thanks, that makes me feel a bit less pathetic Grin

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 02/02/2022 11:29

They really should warn people! Mine was awful too, I also felt violated, faint and in shock frankly.

To add to the insult the fucker didn't help and I bled constantly on it! Went to get it removed and it was practically falling out anyway, apparently. Bah.

idontgetpaidenoughforthis · 02/02/2022 20:30

Skewered was the word I used to describe it to a doctor friend, she thought I was exaggerating until she had one done!