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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

An adult doesn’t spread rumours about a child

34 replies

JimminieCricket · 01/02/2022 22:06

So a parent (that I do trust) told me that another parent (I have never met) had been told by her child that my DS was apparently disruptive in all his various classes. Followed by a tinkly laugh and comment ‘well I just said to my DC some kids just aren’t wired the same are they’.

Turns out it’s complete and utter codswallop. I spoke to the school who did a sweep of DS’s teachers and there was not one agreement with the statement made by this parent. Apparently DS works hard, is polite and about as far from disruptive as you can be.

Obviously I assume she has heard it from her kid but still, repeating this around the school could cause quite a lot of trouble as I don’t know which other parents she’s talking to and saying this, and it’s not fair on my child who seems to be subject of such rubbish. What would you do?

OP posts:
anine · 01/02/2022 22:14

Could she have mixed your child up with another of a similar name?

Yuckypretty · 01/02/2022 22:16

I wouldn't do anything about it, who cares what people are gossiping about it. The kid probably made it up or got it mixed up.

Georgeskitchen · 01/02/2022 22:17

I would approach the parent and ask them why they are telling lies about my child

Original poster
JimminieCricket · 01/02/2022 22:18

No. Definitely no mistake regarding who they were talking about.

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 01/02/2022 22:20

I wouldn't do anything about it either
Sounds like the child has said this to the mum and the mum has just believed him? Her comment was off but it doesn't sound like she's spreading rumours from what I can make out?!

PoshPyjamas · 01/02/2022 22:23

I would approach the parent and ask them why they are telling lies about my child

Really? Seems quite aggressive!

PoshPyjamas · 01/02/2022 22:25

It's not really spreading rumours though, is it? It's something and nothing really.

HirplesWithHaggis · 01/02/2022 22:27

With multiple teachers, the child is presumably a teenager, or close to. Does he really want mummy fighting his battles, storming into school over a mistaken gossip? Blush

LiG123 · 01/02/2022 22:28

If you're concerned I'd speak to the school and ask them to talk to said child about it and mention to her mum they'd spoken to her about some Comments they'd heard which was affecting another child?

KilmordenCastle · 01/02/2022 22:30

I don't think I'd really care about this tbh. I'd probably just shrug and say "hmm that's strange".

Original poster
JimminieCricket · 01/02/2022 22:32

Well it might be something and nothing but I don’t think it’s very nice considering I don’t know her and I have never heard my DS talk about her child so it’s not like there is any context

OP posts:
ElevenSmiles · 01/02/2022 22:35

The trusted parent sounds like a shit stirrer.

5128gap · 01/02/2022 22:37

If you must do something I'd go directly to her and say 'so and so mentioned that you had said DS was disruptive? Obviously it would concern me if he was causing problems for other DC. I asked the teachers but they don't think there's a problem. So could you tell me exactly what is was that you/your DC are referring to?'

Flickflak · 01/02/2022 22:42

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

GroggyLegs · 01/02/2022 22:48

I'd do nothing.

Kid said something apparently untrue, mum made some flippant comment telling them to ignore the alleged bad behaviour. Maybe she mentioned it to your friend to see.if her kid had had trouble in class.wirh yours or whether it was her child overreacting.

It's not true, you know it's not true, your son hopefully knows nothing about it unless he's in the gossip circle or you told him. Mums in the gossip circle know it's BS because hopefully your friend with the big spoon set her right.

I get it's unpleasant but it's not worth causing drama over.

DiddyHeck · 01/02/2022 22:50

how old is your child?

WonderfulYou · 01/02/2022 22:54

The trusted parent sounds like a shit stirrer.

I agree.

TabithaHazel · 01/02/2022 22:56

Your 'friend' might have just made this all up for reasons unknown. Sounds like they are trying to tell you they think there is something up with your son in a roundabout way. Or they are a complete stirrer.

godmum56 · 01/02/2022 22:57

people wo do the tinkly laugh are not your friend.

Original poster
JimminieCricket · 01/02/2022 23:00

There is nothing up with my son regarding disruption. If there was I would face it down like I have a few other things but no, this is all bollocks.

OP posts:
Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 01/02/2022 23:01

Its third hand information if even - I'd do nothing. Its also out of context. I agree the person who told you is the shit stirrer

Oddbobbyboo · 01/02/2022 23:08

I’m a teacher and honestly some of these parent can be awful… they come in and complain about a child and then stand all happily with the child’s parents acting like they’re best mates. At least this person told you regardless if it’s a mistake. I wouldn’t worry about it though. If his teachers say that he is fine, he will be. Part of the battle is getting parents on board when you’re dealing with challenging behaviour so if they come in with concerns you cease the opportunity to work together. This hasn’t happened. It’s just nonsense gossip. Don’t give it anymore of your time x

pasturesgreen · 01/02/2022 23:13

I would be questioning the motivations of the so-called trusted parent in spreading malicious gossip, that's what I'd do.

DysmalRadius · 01/02/2022 23:19

Surely it's the 'trusted friend' that is gossiping - she's telling you about the things that another parent and (third hand?!) what their child said. And you have acted on that, which is exactly what you are accusing this other woman of, only you've involved teachers whereas she only said it to another parent.

It sounds like a lot of Chinese whispers, and if you know your son isn't disruptive and you don't know this other mum or their family, why do you care so much about what she's said? How could her opinion have any effect on your son, apart from the fact that you seemed to believe it enough to check up on him!

DropYourSword · 01/02/2022 23:20

What would I do? Nothing. I don't understand why stranger parent is talking not trusted parent about something her DC said to her. I further don't understand why trusted parent would repeat that either.
But it's all just too bloody gossipy and ridiculous and I wouldn't be the slightest bit interested in getting involved.

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