Addressing wedding invitations

[MeSanniesareBrannies]

How would you feel about this? I’m thinking:

• Names on the envelope, but not on the invitation. Is this weird? I’m having difficulty remembering whether I’ve ever received an invitation without my name on the actual invite. But, it seems a bit unnecessary?

• No last names on the envelopes for couples. So, Kate and Tim, not Kate ‘last name’ and Tim ‘last name’.

This is a VERY informal wedding - civil ceremony followed by a massive party, so this is in keeping with the vibe. I’m aware that this possibly violates 300 rules of etiquette, but I’m not massively fussed about tradition. More wondering if you’d be ticked off.

Do you need to know numbers for the party?

As long as you’re happy for people to assume everyone in their household is invited then no names on the invitation is fine if they’re designed like that.

The issue with not putting specific names on the invitation is that people may take the piss and bring extras, be that children, friends, dates, whatever. I’d say definitely put names on the invitations.
As for surnames, well, I don’t think that really matters!

I would write the names on the actual invitation, people often throw away the envelope and afterwards might want to double check their other half or DC are invited or not.

It's harder to RSVP to an invite you don't know exactly who has been invited.

What about families? Will you address the envelope to the whole lot of them (Tim, Kate, Little Tim, Little Kate, baby Tim etc) or Tim, Kate & Kids?

Wouldn't be ticked off, but as others have said, it may not be completely clear who is/isn't invited in the household if you don't put the names on the invitation itself.

I'd put names on the invites, just to clarify exactly who is (or isn't) invited! Otherwise you might find extra children or hangers on turn up unexpectedly!
It makes it clear for all, with no second guessing on the guests' side.
We have children and I'd like it to be clear if they are invited or not! I don't mind either way, but would like it clear. If it says 'Mr & Mrs X and family' or just 'Mr & Mrs X'

It makes no sense. Everyone would want to have very precise addresses as I’ve seen so plenty of ‘do you know who Kate and Tim are’ on Facebook local group when there’s no surname and post goes to the wrong place. Surely the vibe of your wedding isn’t your invites not arriving to guests!

And not putting names on the invite also means it’s a free for all - want to bring your 5 kids and live in granny - no problem. The invite isn’t to anyone so why not @MeSanniesareBrannies

I would be annoyed because I wouldn't know for sure if DC were invited and would have to call you to ask. Unless invite also specifies no children of course.

I sent all of ours to Mr J Smith and Ms A Wilson or however adults are known on the envelope and Jamie, Anna, Tom and Katy inside. Even if the envelope said The Smith-Wilsons it is still ambiguous as to whether Tom and Katy are invited.

Absolutely fine as long as it's still clear who's invited. Someone in my family did it and it wasn't at all clear who was included in the invite, and was very awkward!

As long as the names are on the envelope I don't think they need to be on the invitation itself. I do think addressing an envelope without using last names is very odd! I would always put last names on an envelope when addressing it, no matter how casual or informal the correspondence. Also, the way it is addressed should make it clear who is invited.

Kate and Tim Surname
or
Kate and Tim Surname and Children
or
Kate, Tim and Bobby Surname
or
Kate Surname and Tim Different Surname

Put names on the invitation else people won’t know who’s included. Especially with children or babies.

We addressed envelopes to couples/parents, and then included all of the names on the invitation so they knew children were invited. But we needed to menu choices for each individual guest.

And ours were posted so were addressed to Mr & Mrs or Mr & Miss, etc

I would put adult first names on the actual invitation then add plus 1, or and family if applicable

Most people we know don’t have kids, but DC are all invited and that’s clearly stated on the invite.

Where people have families, we’ve said ‘and family’ on the envelope.

Thing is, for our married mates, we don’t know which of the women have changed their last names, so first names seemed simplest/the least contentious. For older relatives, we are doing ‘Mr and Mrs XX’ and so on, but that’s not the bulk of the invitations.

@Crunchymum

Do you need to know numbers for the party?

Yes, we’ve included a link to our website to RSVP and get any additional info.

Watch out with “and family” too. Seems entirely self explanatory but someone asked me if they could bring their mum who I’d met once about five years ago then moaned because she was “family”.

@AlexissFreeenncch Happy for people to bring kids and gran (as long as they RSVP, so we have enough food)!

Post is delivered by Royal Mail to an address - no last name required. If it went astray, I’m not really seeing how having a last name on it would help? There’ll be return addresses on them, if that should occur.

@Shiningpath

Watch out with “and family” too. Seems entirely self explanatory but someone asked me if they could bring their mum who I’d met once about five years ago then moaned because she was “family”.

I think that’s CF territory, surely? 😂

Noooo. Write the names on the actual invite. The envelopes get thrown away and then nearer the time no-one will remember what it said.

@Somebodylikeyew You have to RSVP via the website, stating names, dietary requirements and number/age of kids if bringing. Then you get sent an email.

I think that solves the remembering issue. Would that work for you?

We only put names on the envelopes for ours, the invites extended to all members of each household (and some partners of adult children too if they asked us).

@Chely And it worked out alright?

You need to be clear about whether children and partners are invited or not.

Also, regarding not putting surnames on envelopes, I live in a development with about 100 flats in it. Some people have sent us things addressed to just our first names with no surname on the package or envelope and the only reason we have received them is because our development has a concierge who managed to work out who they were for. I would always put the surname on, or say you don't know someone's partner's surname, write "Bob Smith" on the envelope and "to Bob and Jane" inside.

Definitely put names. This has confused me several times. It has just been addressed to me and my husband so I’ve assumed kid fee wedding and then when I’ve turned up they’ve asked where are the kids?!!!! I said they weren’t invited!!

The opposite happened at my wedding I just put the adults names and a couple of people asked me (luckily in advance) if kids were invited 😣😣