Addressing wedding invitations

[MeSanniesareBrannies]

How would you feel about this? I’m thinking:

• Names on the envelope, but not on the invitation. Is this weird? I’m having difficulty remembering whether I’ve ever received an invitation without my name on the actual invite. But, it seems a bit unnecessary?

• No last names on the envelopes for couples. So, Kate and Tim, not Kate ‘last name’ and Tim ‘last name’.

This is a VERY informal wedding - civil ceremony followed by a massive party, so this is in keeping with the vibe. I’m aware that this possibly violates 300 rules of etiquette, but I’m not massively fussed about tradition. More wondering if you’d be ticked off.

@Kylereese

Definitely put names. This has confused me several times. It has just been addressed to me and my husband so I’ve assumed kid fee wedding and then when I’ve turned up they’ve asked where are the kids?!!!! I said they weren’t invited!!

The opposite happened at my wedding I just put the adults names and a couple of people asked me (luckily in advance) if kids were invited 😣😣

Same! This happened to me. Even after it said "no children" and had the recipients names clearly stated without children they still assumed their children were invited. They are intelligent people too. Doesn't matter how obvious you make it, people always struggle with wedding invitations!

@JustLyra

As long as you’re happy for people to assume everyone in their household is invited then no names on the invitation is fine if they’re designed like that.

And even people not in the household!

Did you see the thread about the invite to ‘the Smiths’?
Their DS, who didn’t live there, and his GF were going to attend because ‘The Smiths’ assumed it included them?

“Also, regarding not putting surnames on envelopes, I live in a development with about 100 flats in it. Some people have sent us things addressed to just our first names with no surname on the package or envelope and the only reason we have received them is because our development has a concierge who managed to work out who they were for.”

Ah, I see. This makes sense. Last names it is, then.

I should have put the website RSVP + clearly stating all kids were welcome thing in the OP.

@PostThenGhost Jesus, really?

We didn’t put names on actual invites as to save money we just got the same ones printed for everyone (I’ve received a lot like this) and can’t say I’d care of our surnames weren’t on the envelope; it’s not like there’s anyone else at our address with the same name so we’d know it’s us

I've received plenty with no names. I think it only matters if you don't want to invite children and need to drive home the point that only the parents are being invited. Then again, I remember one that just said "please note- due to capacity restrictions this is a child free wedding"

@MeSanniesareBrannies Yes it worked fine

Fab, thank you. 🙂

Definitely agree that you should put surnames on envelopes otherwise there could be problems. If you’re not sure whether they have taken their husbands name, I would check Facebook/LinkedIn etc. If I couldn’t find anything and they are quite relaxed I would guess as I wouldn’t be offended if someone put the wrong last name to me. If you think they are likely to be offended I’d ask them or someone who knows them.

Also I would definitely write the names of the guests on the invitation as the envelope is often thrown away. Especially as you have invited children it’s nice to write it on the invite as so many weddings are child free they could assume they haven’t been invited. Even if you put on the wedding website about children, if I hadn’t seen their names on the invitation I would think it could be close family/friends children and I would only go from the invitation. Sounds like a lovely wedding!

@Gillyx I’ve seen sense and will be going last names on the envelopes. 😂 We’re doing exactly as you’ve suggested - combo social media searches and asking.

I still don’t really want to write names on invitations, but I’m starting to see the logic.

And, thank you!