Is this normal

[Surgarblossom]

I invited a friend over on Saturday as we haven't met up for nearly 2 years due to Covid.

Whilst she was here she had a full English Breakfast, evening meal with dessert, copious amounts of tea / cold drinks and snacks. Not once did she say thank you, not when i served the meals, not when she had finish eating, not when she left and not when she text to say she had arrived home safely.

AIBU to be annoyed that I didn't receive a " thank you" not even once or is this normal and am I just being precious?

I don't think it's normal, but she's your friend, is it normal for her?

I think it's a bit rude but I guess it just depends how you were brought up.

When I was a student, one of my friends slept on my couch after a gig and on his way out the door (he'd have been about 21) he turned and mumbled 'thank you for having me'. Now there's a lad who has had his manners drilled into him!

Yes, she's rude

Well you need to invite yourself to her home and diminish her stocks

.

Sounds a bit rude, yes.

Did she say things like, "ooo that looks lovely" "lovely spread" or anything else 'thank you' adjacent? Some people show gratitude in strange ways. Also, there are cultures where explicit thank yous are less frequent.

@MrsTerryPratchett

Did she say things like, "ooo that looks lovely" "lovely spread" or anything else 'thank you' adjacent? Some people show gratitude in strange ways. Also, there are cultures where explicit thank yous are less frequent.

No, nothing

Not normal

Weird, I couldn’t do that!

Not normal and incredibly rude. I'd be done with her, personally. There's no excuse for such rude, entitled behaviour.

Where do you live that it could possibly be precious to expect the common manners of a thank you

Has she changed since Covid, how often does she get out? It isn't normal. I don't know anyone who wouldn't give at least acknowledgment to being served food.

It's really rude, but you'll probably get posters saying you are unreasonable 😀

Putting aside whether it was rude or not (it was), it's just utterly bizarre! I literally wouldn't be able stop myself saying thank you when handed food. Even if I was mad at someone, a grumpy thanks would still make its way out.
Did she used to so thank you or has she always been this way?

@MickeyMouseEars

Putting aside whether it was rude or not (it was), it's just utterly bizarre! I literally wouldn't be able stop myself saying thank you when handed food. Even if I was mad at someone, a grumpy thanks would still make its way out. Did she used to so thank you or has she always been this way?

I can't say that I have noticed it before as we would usually eat out. If I had I guess I wouldn't be so annoyed as I'd think, this is what age did last time.

It's rude. I don't understand people who don't say thanks. I say thanks numerous times a day - to my dh for bringing me a cuppa, to the person who opens the door for me, to the bus driver.
I would have had to say something!! Probably a sarcastic, ' What do you say then? ' 🤣

She wouldn't be invited back to my house if it was me. Saying thank you is very, very basic etiquette. You don't do something for someone in anticipation of the thanks, but not receiving them is very much a notable absence. Even if you had only plonked a can of lemonade and a packet of crisps in front of her, you would like to be thanked. Very strange behaviour.

That is rude. Maybe she was never taught manners as a child. I always say thank you numerous times a day, to drivers who stop at a zebra crossing for me, to shop workers, if someone hands me a cup of tea. Surely it should just be an automatic response.

Have you ever noticed her not saying thank you to waiting staff when you eat out?

YANBU

saying thank you is so basic (or at “thank you adjacent” comments as PP brilliantly put it).

I thank people dozens of times during an average day, usually just as a reflex for doing their job because it’s just basic manners. If someone was hosting me and feeding me I would make sure I was appropriately grateful!

Could she maybe be planning on sending a thank you card? I know it doesn't excuse the lack of manners at the time, but I'm clutching at straws trying to understand her behaviour.

Rude, but wait for posters telling you untruthfully that courtesy doesn’t exist ‘in some cultures’.

My inlaws do this, arrive at our house have food and not a word of thanks or anything thanks adajacent! Drives me mad, they can feck off next time they think I'm feeding them

@Supersimkin2

Rude, but wait for posters telling you untruthfully that courtesy doesn’t exist ‘in some cultures’.

Of course it exists. It just looks very different. Regardless, OP hasn't said her friend has cultural reasons for this, so we're back to plain rudeness!

I think it's rude, even for really close friends.

For example, my best friend and I will make each other drinks/snacks and give a quick 'ta' when accepting, but when it's meals or something more significant then it's a proper thank you. I'd have expected at least a murmur of a thanks!

Go and eat all of her food and be super ungrateful about it

No cultural reasons whatsoever