To tell social worker to leave me alone

[Feduptomyears]

Bit of a hard one, I’ve been reading up on my rights and laws etc.
In the last year I have left an abusive relationship and had to involve police to actually remove my ex partner. I have done all I can to keep myself and the kids safe - went to court for a restraining order, called the police every time he turned up, reported every contact, changed my phone number/deleted social media and looking for a new home. Had a really lovely social worker who did her assessment then closed the case as there was nothing SS could do for me and I was keeping my children safe and happy. THEN my ex turned up at my door, was removed by police and so ss have obviously received a report. Harrassment seems to have stopped now although ss are not leaving me alone. I am not on a CIN or CP plan as they are just carrying out another assessment which is voluntary but I have allowed them to visit me and the kids. I was then told that a student (which I did not consent to, do I have to consent? ) would be contacting me to finish assessment. I have done a 45 min video call with her and at the end she asked if she could come round one day this week. I explained that I’m working full time and am out early and home late and this week especially I don’t have any free time but maybe next week. She has continued to text me paragraphs all week from 9am every day asking to come round but I genuinely cannot get the time off. Reiterated this to which she says she is willing to come after I get home from work. This is usually around 6.45 and then it’s a rush to get the kids bathed, in bed, packed lunches made clothes ironed etc, I don’t really want a social worker in my house at this time if I’m honest.
This morning she has messaged me but I haven’t replied as I’m at work so then i have received another message saying she will be going to the kids school to speak with them alone (????) I haven’t consented to this at all and will not consent to this. At this point I have called my actual social worker who has informed me that they WILL be speaking to the kids alone and yes the assessment is voluntary but if I withdraw then they will consider a child protection plan.

I feel as though in domestic abuse cases the mother is always targeted by SS and the father isn’t even contacted. I’ve also been told that if he turns up again and the police are called (the only way to keep us safe) then I will be placed straight on a CP plan. It’s almost like mother’s are punished for getting help and keeping themselves safe.

I’ve done everything I can and am engaging with other professionals to keep safe such as the court, partner link etc so I can’t understand how I could even meet threshold for CP?

My dd had some counselling (private) for the trauma re my ex .
It took 6 years before she would agree to it because of the ss assessment which was essentially counselling with art therapy. Even at age 8, she could see what they were doing and she absolutely hated every single second. It held her back from getting the support she needed.

We're both ok now OP btw and this is behind us but you have my sympathy. You do have to report stuff but the patronising shit you get from ss just compounds the loss of self respect and means it takes longer to recover .

You haven’t done everything you can to facilitate the social worker .you should of found the time ,yes even at 6:45 at night ,she could of come round to chat while you make the tea and put kids to bed ..
I’m not surprised they are now going in to the school .
Why piss off people with the power to remove your children,bizarre

@WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly

At my kids’ school, it’s fairly obvious to all the kids when a child is visited by a social worker in school. We live in a small community and everyone recognises the social workers! Plus the other kids ask and the child concerned doesn’t know what to say.

I was under the impression that the children wouldn’t actually see the social worker? the child would be brought out by a member of school staff and social worker would be in a private room with the child only? Children leave the class all the time surely no one would notice that? However I live in London and my kids school has 700 pupils at the school so not a small village school.

I would give them a range of times over the next few weeks, including some times this week, with a reminder that you work full time and have sole care of the children and are trying to minimise disruption. Even though you find this annoying, it might not be helpful to have the mindset that "the mother is always targeted by SS", rather than SS want to ensure the children are protected so naturally have to engage with the resident parent/main carer and have protocols to follow to ensure the children are protected to the extent they can be. Avoiding contact is what some abusive parents regularly do so SS can't magically be certain the children are safe.

Good luck.

By resisting you are increasing their workload which is then taking them away from other cases where the children genuinely need their intervention.

It is their job to ensure your children are safe. Help them do it efficiently so they have time to get on to other children who need them.

I would have accommodated an after work visit and then this would have been sorted. So what if it disrupts bath routine for one evening, just one evening versus all this stress op?