Exhausted and can’t help but need advice

[Chippingbird23]

Just sum it up I’m currently working and studying plus have children myself. A lady has asked me to help her after school for two afternoons a week pick child up take child to my house and then drop child back after mum is home from work. I drive a lot for work and I just need some time to do my stuff too. I don’t know how to tell her but I just can’t help. Maybe one day a week but my opportunity has come to further my dream career and I need that time instead of driving back and forth and babysitting. I feel and I really do but I don’t know how to tell her.

Who is this lady that you feel you have time help her out when you are rushed off your feet yourself? I bet she wants you to do her childcare and run her children to her house for free; I am sure that there would be a queue round the block for you to do that for loads of people. Absolutely not. You are too busy and you have children of your own to take care of and a job of your own to do.

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You grow a backbone and say no. You don't have to give a reason. This is a vital life skill to learn or you will spend a lifetime being used by other people.
I usually say something like sorry that doesn't work for me and thats it.

It is not fair for anybody to ask favours of consistent nature. It starts small as an exeption, but you'll not know when you get pulled into it as their personal childminder. I was recently fooled by my neighbour. She came in asking for my DS to walk her child to school, pick him after school (they're not in the same school) and for him to stay at ours a couple of hours after school only on Mondays until she returns home from work.
Next thing I know the neighbour's child was knocking on my door everyday for my DS to walk him to school and expecting to be collected.
This child is very ill mannered, ill spoken and kind of spoiled brat and used very mean words for my DS standing right under my roof. Absolutely frustrated by these cheeky CF neighbours, had to put my foot down but caused too much distress to my DS. Absolutely not worth the trouble.

Agree with everyone else, can’t believe people try this nonsense.

“I’m in the same boat, I need help too, I’m already trying to juggle too many balls so I can’t take on anything else, hope we both get sorted”.

Please don’t feel guilty they sure as hell don’t, I can’t imagine myself trying to rope people into my dramas like this, whatever you do however you say it make sure it’s a very clear no.

If you find it hard to say no imagine it this way:

If you say yes to looking after her children for free, you are saying no to advancing your dream career.

She wants you to drop the child back at hers after she’s got home from work as well?! Bloody cheek-she wasn’t even offering to come and collect!

Have you already said yes?? I’d tell her right away it wasn’t happening.