Extremely anxious out in the woods with predators outside please help me calm down

[spiralspiralspiral]

In a property belonging to my in-laws at the moment, out in the woods, it's very wild where we are. We've had an awful week and a loss in the family. I am very tired, which obviously does not help anxiety in any way.

Normally I have a couple of drinks at night to sleep when we're out here (we don't spend much time here, usually) to block out the fear. I am terrified of the coyotes and bears and mountain lions, despite knowing logically they are not going to break into the house. Probably.

I can't describe how anxious I am just knowing they're out there. Despite knowing they don't want anything to do with us.

I can't have a glass of wine now tonight because I took naproxen for awful period pain. I took a beta blocker earlier, but now it's dark and night is coming.

How can I stay calm and sensible? I really need to sleep and I just can't bring myself to think of turning the light off and lying down later, will probably end up watching tv all night which does me no favours for tomorrow!

I love that MN has this international reach - so many posters with first-hand useful knowledge about lions and (tigers) and bears (oh my!)

It’s comforting- no matter what’s outside it’s all OK.

I noticed you said your husband can sleep because he's grown up with this environment. I really don't think that's it, I have slept in a similar situation and grew up in Scotland. It didn't even cross my mind to be worried other than to make sure we didn't leave food accessible outside for the bears.

This is your anxiety talking and not a legitimate concern. You'll be alright.

And yes, I saw many deer making there way to the lake also, just down the path.

I like the international reach of Mumsnet too. It helps me keep up with things in England, where DH is from and DS2 lives with his family.

Their.

I was just thinking how lucky we were that there aren’t any predators in England as I walked through the woods earlier!

You have my sympathies because I reckon I would feel exactly the same OP. Especially if my kids were with me.

I hope you’ve managed to settle down somewhat! Especially with the reassurance from lots of other mumsnetters!

Hi @spiralspiralspiral — I grew up with bears.

The cooking smells will dissipate. You need to take care of your garbage, though, as that’s what a bear will get into. Lock it up or take it away from the house/cabin.

The mountain lions will usually keep their distance, unless you meet them out & about and especially if they have cubs they think they have to protect. They might get curious and peek into a low window, but they’ll walk off.

Get a big pot and a big spoon to bang on, or two pots to bang together. Bears will be frightened off by the noise. Keep banging until you’re either sure the bear is gone — or until you feel better.

Take deep breaths. Risk half a glass of wine. The animals, as crazy as it sounds, are more afraid of you than you are of them.

if the OP is in canada any self respecting bear is well asleep for the season fully fed and managing on his fat reserves (yes they occasionally wake to take a look see outside but that's unusual in a freezing january). cougars don't stalk homes don't like garbage, like sick and injured prey they are following the deer and bunnies.
enjoy the peace op and feel reassured you won't have any city dwellers checking out the cabin.

The doors legally have to be round here so that a curious bear doesn't manage to wander into someone's kitchen by mistake by opening a door by pressing the handle down.

I was so confused by the start of this sentence, picturing hobbit doors on every home

I recommend sleep stories in the Calm app, the one with Stephen Fry talking about lavender fields is free and worked very well to put me to sleep when in a tent in the wilderness suffering similar fears.

'Sleep with me' is another podcast designed to put you to sleep though the host is a bit odd-sounding.

How are you doing? Hopefully you've done the checking all the doors and windows to reassure yourself they're secure.
Comedy is good for raising your mood - I like Sarah Millican standup, Brooklyn 99, The Big Bang Theory, though it might not help you sleep!
An audio book or a podcast might be more restful.

I hope you’re asleep but if not, you are going to be absolutely fine. This is irrational fear and anxiety. I know that doesn’t make it easier though.

Not helpful for tonight but I’d suggest packing some zopiclone or Valium next time. Since you go so infrequently, I don’t think you’ll have a problem getting them from your doctor (and if you’re not in the UK, let’s face it, you’ll get them without much of a fuss). The radio, tv or a podcast might make you feel less asleep while your OH sleeps.

And as PPs have said, I wouldn’t think twice about mixing naproxen with wine. Or anything really.

You can have a drink after taking a naproxen this morning and a beta blocker this afternoon.

@LaurensILikeYouALot

The doors legally have to be round here so that a curious bear doesn't manage to wander into someone's kitchen by mistake by opening a door by pressing the handle down.

I was so confused by the start of this sentence, picturing hobbit doors on every home

I recommend sleep stories in the Calm app, the one with Stephen Fry talking about lavender fields is free and worked very well to put me to sleep when in a tent in the wilderness suffering similar fears.

'Sleep with me' is another podcast designed to put you to sleep though the host is a bit odd-sounding.

Bloody scooter and his mad stories!

Most bears in North America are hibernating right now. If you don’t bother them, they won’t bother you. If you have closed and locked windows and doors, the cougars and coyotes will not bother you. You have a far better chance of being in a car accident than an encounter with a dangerous wild animal.

@LaurensILikeYouALot ‘bloody LOVE* Scooter’ that should have said.

It is winter. Bears are hibernating.

Take a warm shower. Read a book in bed and listen to calming music. Hot chocolate. Cuddle into DH.

Think our op is asleep

I live in Australia.

As others have said, humans kill way more than all the mountain lions, coyotes, dingoes, crocodiles and sharks combined. You are way safer in the woods with a pack of wild animals, than in a bustling city surrounded by every creep and perv under the sun.

Play ASMR soothing videos on youtube, they’re very relaxing and you can find anything and any kind of ASMR that relaxes you in particular, there’s so much online.

It’s so so windy here I can’t sleep - but no 🐻 bears. OP has not come back maybe she is asleep 💤

I know this doesn't actually help with the question OP, but I just wanted to say how lovely you sound empathizing with the animals and how they're just doing their best, even though you're completely terrified of them. You sound very kind. Hope you managed to get some sleep in the end and sorry for your family's loss

I have had all three on my property. Bears should be hibernating right now.
It’s mating season for coyotes right now so they’re pretty noisy and a danger to small pets (but not humans unless you’re in the arsehole end of nowhere and outside alone, a long way from the house.
Cougars/mountain lions are usually pretty shy.

If you’re indoors during darkness you’re absolutely safe.

I remember feeling like this when I first moved from suburban England to Far North Queensland. It didn't help that the week after we arrived a man down the road died from a snake bite...

I found the thing that helps the most is arming yourself with information. Learn what the protocol is when you encounter these creatures. Learn how to avoid encountering them in the first place. The locals will have all of this knowledge. That way, you'll be prepared for anything that comes your way.

Most things really aren't as dangerous as they first seem, so long as you behave sensibly. That man down the road from me who died from a snake bite was behaving like an idiot, and then after he got bitten he went against the advice given for how to deal with a snake bite.

Besides, it sounds like your DH grew up in this area. So in the unlikely event that a bear or a coyote actually manages to gain access to your home, he'll know exactly what to do. You have nothing to worry about.

I live in North America and we have Moose, Cougars, dear little coyotes and all sorts of other wild life, on our property. There have been bears a well. They don't want to come into your house, believe me and they are not starving. The bears are hibernating anyway.

Moose can be dangerous though. Keep away from them.

MN is full of very anxious people -- the anxiety out of proportion to the risk. There must be heaps of info online about dealing with that mental illness.

As someone who camped outside in high Sierra Nevada in May I can't really understand the worries because ... I just can't. You aren't important or attractive to all these beasties, honest. The only place I'd worry about bears is north Canada or Alaska & those bears would be hibernating now, anyway. Hope you get some treatment.