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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Extremely anxious out in the woods with predators outside please help me calm down

107 replies

spiralspiralspiral · 30/01/2022 23:17

In a property belonging to my in-laws at the moment, out in the woods, it's very wild where we are. We've had an awful week and a loss in the family. I am very tired, which obviously does not help anxiety in any way.

Normally I have a couple of drinks at night to sleep when we're out here (we don't spend much time here, usually) to block out the fear. I am terrified of the coyotes and bears and mountain lions, despite knowing logically they are not going to break into the house. Probably.

I can't describe how anxious I am just knowing they're out there. Despite knowing they don't want anything to do with us.

I can't have a glass of wine now tonight because I took naproxen for awful period pain. I took a beta blocker earlier, but now it's dark and night is coming.

How can I stay calm and sensible? I really need to sleep and I just can't bring myself to think of turning the light off and lying down later, will probably end up watching tv all night Sad which does me no favours for tomorrow!

OP posts:
PickAChew · 30/01/2022 23:51

You still didn't say what time it is.

PriamFarrl · 30/01/2022 23:51

Go around the house and systematically check every door and window. Take a picture of each one on your phone so that if you start to feel you have missed one you can bring up the picture and check. Put some kind of speech on, a talk radio station, podcast or audio book.

Original poster
spiralspiralspiral · 30/01/2022 23:54

@Maves

If it makes you this bad could you just not have gone? Why put yourself through it?
It's for a family funeral and it is important that I am here to support my DP.
OP posts:
Original poster
spiralspiralspiral · 30/01/2022 23:55

@PickAChew

You still didn't say what time it is.
It's evening time here, I said this in my OP. Why?
OP posts:
feelsobadfeltsogood · 30/01/2022 23:56

Have you only had naproxen would be my first question you sound very distressed
If you've taken something else or have physicals please call 111 and seek help

NoSquirrels · 30/01/2022 23:58

You’ve had done great advice and infubhere, OP.

Do a boring-yourself-to-sleep thing - lie very still and concentrate on only flexing your little toe, then the next tor (etc) then your ankle, then your calf muscle, and so on. I’m usually so bored by it by my right knee I’ve gone to sleep…

NoSquirrels · 31/01/2022 00:00

Or, podcast on headphones and have the wine (unless that will trigger you being even more anxious).

Original poster
spiralspiralspiral · 31/01/2022 00:00

Rationally, presumably nobody has actually died from wild animals getting into the cabin ever before?

Not our place no but there have been injuries and one death from bears in the wider region.

Humans are at fault because we are inhabiting more and more of their space, and the animals have less wilderness to be in. Plus they sometimes get used to rummaging through rubbish bags etc and get bolder, which isn't good for animals or human. Again, humans at fault for not dealing with rubbish correctly or even worse - trying to feed the wild animals like a few do!

OP posts:
Original poster
spiralspiralspiral · 31/01/2022 00:02

@feelsobadfeltsogood

Have you only had naproxen would be my first question you sound very distressed If you've taken something else or have physicals please call 111 and seek help
Yes I had naproxen this morning, for period pain. And a beta blocker this afternoon for anxiety, prescribed by my doctor.

I have not taken any other substances.

OP posts:
Cherryblossoms85 · 31/01/2022 00:03

Wow I wish we could swap places! Probably not very helpful but it's making me feel quite dull, not living the remote life I'd love.

Original poster
spiralspiralspiral · 31/01/2022 00:03

Thank you for all the advice on getting to sleep! All the ideas are making me feel MUCH better. Less wound up.

Think I will start off with a podcast and then something like a yoga music soundtrack.

OP posts:
mij66 · 31/01/2022 00:05

I don't know if this logic might help ( I know anxiety tends to ignore logic as a rule) but if you've ever watch attenbroughs planet earth and seen how much they spend on equipment and crew to catch a glimpse of some of these creatures it might put the risk in a slightly different perspective?

Original poster
spiralspiralspiral · 31/01/2022 00:06

@WeatherwaxOn

Years ago I was in Canada and went for a walk with DH. We were walking through woodlands to a beach and it was deserted other than a guy putting up some signage which said that there were cougars in the woods - we should proceed quietly so as not to disturb them and provoke attack. The problem was that he also put up another sign which said that there were bears in the woods and to avoid attack it was a good idea to make loud noises to drive the bears away. Fortunately we saw neither, nor did we have any trouble with them at the very rural b&b we stayed at. Still unsure why the signage was meant to help as either way you were in potential danger.
This sounds like my absolute nightmare Grin Glad you were unscathed!
OP posts:
Wreath21 · 31/01/2022 00:06

Sleep well, OP. You might well be more distressed over the idea of wild animals etc than you would normally be because you are in an upsetting situation - far from home and dealing with bereavement (or bereaved people if you were not, yourself, close to the person who has gone.)
But if this level of anxiety is not unusual for you, maybe think about seeking help for it when you're back home.

OneTC · 31/01/2022 00:07

Going places where the animals can kill you is pretty different from listening to passing badgers or foxes but you've got compliant doors, you're in a house, the chances are super low

Also are you sure you can't have wine?

WildImaginings · 31/01/2022 00:08

You can have wine. I take beta blockers every day for anxiety. I also occasionally take naproxen for pain. A glass or two of wine won't hurt.

Summerfun54321 · 31/01/2022 00:08

Put bears out of your mind as they’ll all be hibernating right now. The sound of humans deters most wild animals so depending on how near your nearest neighbours are, you could play some music out on the porch while you sleep just for peace of mind.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 31/01/2022 00:08

A really, really unemotional podcast is ideal. Something like a 40 minute sport interview works really well for me. Just two low, unemotional voices burbling away in the background. It's not so interesting that it keeps me awake, but it soothes me hearing low level conversation that I don't have to pay attention to. Good luck!

Kelly7889 · 31/01/2022 00:13

People are far more scary that these poor wild animals , which ae just trying to survive, find a mate, eat, keep warm and find somewhere to sleep - just like we are. Just secure your house and stop worrying.

LetsGoParty · 31/01/2022 00:14

I'm intrigued about where you are. It's not nighttime in North America.

LoveFall · 31/01/2022 00:15

OP i live in Western Canada. In Vancouver we have urban coyotes and you can rest assured they want nothing to do with you. I have seen them many times, usually just loping along a street early in the morning.

I spent many, many summers on a Lake, in quite a wilderness area. I have seen lots of bears, and again they try to avoid us. Be cautious, but really, at this time of year they are hibernating.

I have also seen cougars (mountain lions) making there way down to the lake for a drink in the early morning, from the safety of my bedroom.

You will be ok. Have your wine, listen to a soothing podcast, and don't worry.

I am sorry for your loss.

sunflower1993 · 31/01/2022 00:15

@spiralspiralspiral

Thank you for all the advice on getting to sleep! All the ideas are making me feel MUCH better. Less wound up.

Think I will start off with a podcast and then something like a yoga music soundtrack.

Your anxiety is irrational but my anxiety is too and I FULLY empathise and understand everything you're going through Daffodil

I'm not sure if it's helpful to know that if I was in your shoes I'd also end up driven mad with anxiety however from an outsider's perspective I know that there's no possibility of any harm. You are completley safe from any harm, OP. Bear attacks are so rare in the outdoors, nevermind in a fully secure house with bear proof doors! The only tiny, tiny risk you'd have is if something was unlocked and I already know you've got that box ticked.

Try and stay calm, you'll be able to laugh about it one day. Smile

wordler · 31/01/2022 00:16

I live in a cabin in the middle of woods where there are bears, coyotes and apparently sometimes mountain lions.

Forget about the mountain lions and coyotes - they will not attempt to get into the cabin - at this time of year there will be loads of deer around for the mountain lions to eat and the coyotes are much too scared of human noises to approach.

The bears might be attracted to any bird feeders outside the cabin or food waste in bins but as long as doors are firmly shut and latched they won't be able to break into the cabin. At any sign outside grab a few pans and bang loudly and yell at them - they will go away.

My DH has lived on this property for 45 years and he has never seen a bear - he's really disappointed - we can't wait to see one! Our neighbours have all had them on their property. Not sure why they don't like us!

LoveFall · 31/01/2022 00:17

@LetsGoParty

I'm intrigued about where you are. It's not nighttime in North America.
It's 4:15 pm in Vancouver, and quite a few hours ahead further East, so it could be dark wherever the OP is.
WildImaginings · 31/01/2022 00:18

@LetsGoParty

I'm intrigued about where you are. It's not nighttime in North America.
OP said it was evening, not night time. It's early evening in some time zones in America (if she is in America) and also in many areas of Canada.