AIBU to consider telling 3 year old some people believe in Heaven even though I don’t?

[Lancssss]

My 3 year old has become terrified of dying. She gets upset about it daily and is often awake for hours in the night and is distressed. It’s been happening for a couple of weeks.
We haven’t lost any family members, no one is ill, so I don’t know where it’s coming from. So far I’ve told her it won’t happen to any of us for a really, really, really long time. I’ve said that we’re going to have so many years of loads of fun with our family and friends. Nothing seems to be helping.
A family member has suggested I tell her that some people believe you go to Heaven when you die and to explain what Heaven is. Then also explain that some people believe we get reincarnated, so she might come back as a cat or something.
I am an Atheist and my older DC knows I am. Would I be unreasonable to tell her about Heaven etc to try to reassure her and comfort her?

@Seriouslymole that is adorable!
I'm finding a level of comfort in Buddhist ideas atm.
OP, I hope you find the right comforting words for her.

What @FloatyBoaty said!! I think it's fine to say some people believe in heaven. But also that some people believe our bodies just become part of the earth. And to ask what they think (and agree with it whatever that might be). An open conversation is never a bad thing and tbh if you let them talk you don't have too be definitive about anything. You can be honest and say no body really knows but it is fine to talk about it - this can help to remove the fear in itself.

@CorneliusBeefington

I’m so sorry you’re going through it all again. I can’t imagine how hard that would be. I hope you’ve all got a really good support network

@Severntrent

It's funny really that people are so reluctant to suggest there may be a heaven people's souls go to after death, but a bit of horseshit about an invisible string you can tug on to get some more love is all like 'oh that's a good idea, I'll say that....'

This is so true actually

I think I would, but keep it as a hypothetical "some people believe" or similar.

I did this recently with "some people believe the world was made by God" to which my 5 year old said "we believe this (other version) and we are right aren't we"

isabelthomas.co.uk/project/fox-a-circle-of-life-story/

This is a brilliant book that might help

“Has anyone at nursery lost anyone recently?“

I don’t think so. I spoke to the nursery manager and it’s a very small nursery so she’s really hands on and spends a lot of time with her. She didn’t mention anyone losing a parent or grandparent and she hasn’t been asking about it at nursery. She has been saying today she doesn’t want to go to nursery tomorrow and she said the same one day last week. The only other time she’s said that was after she’d been in hospital, she absolutely loves nursery.
I think a transitional object as suggested by a PP might be a really good idea actually. Something she could take to nursery and to bed.
We have lost a few people in our family very young, before she was born. I’ve always avoided explaining where her cousins Mum is for example, not wanting either DC to think that they might lose a parent at that age.
I think telling her that some people think that all your family go to somewhere called Heaven when they die, so that means they’d all be back together again may well help her. As pointed out up thread, I don’t actually know for sure that isn’t what happens.
I think because she’s so young is hard to have a conversation about what she thinks.

@MrsMcGarry

isabelthomas.co.uk/project/fox-a-circle-of-life-story/

This is a brilliant book that might help

Great thank you. I’ve also ordered the one up thread. I feel like I definitely need to have some more proper conversations with her about it. At first I just comforted her and kept hoping it would be short lived phase and didn’t want to encourage her to think about it. It’s gone past that now though and she’s becoming more and more clingy. So I’m going to have to take a different tack.

Children deal with loss in their own strange ways. When mine were little two people they knew well died in quick succession (both relatively young).

I went up to their bedroom one day and they had upturned some of the furniture and draped it with blankets. I asked them what they were doing and they said it was a dying machine - you go in here, under there and you come out dead.

I was momentarily taken aback as it seemed so crude at such a difficult time; but then I realised that maybe they could only deal with it by creating something concrete that made sense to them.