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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

move my family into my parents for £££

31 replies

Pendingmummy · 29/01/2022 17:47

Should I move my DH and DC ( 8 month old) into my parents for 4 months to save 10k to finish our house deposit. Parents and 1 adult sibling, my old room is free. It will be tough but will get us to the finish line for our deposit.

OP posts:
Wandda · 29/01/2022 17:49

What do you parents think of the idea?

Tal45 · 29/01/2022 17:50

Depends on how your DH and parents feel, ifthey're all ok with it then I would.

gamerchick · 29/01/2022 17:51

Depends on who's idea it is really.

DoubleYouOhEmAyEn · 29/01/2022 17:52

Yes if it won't cause lasting damage to your relationships.

Wannakisstheteacher · 29/01/2022 17:53

No. Not fair on anyone, especially your parents who probably don’t feel they can say no.

Overthebow · 29/01/2022 17:53

Will it be longer than 4 months if you then stay there whilst you buy? Buying could take 6 months!

RedskyThisNight · 29/01/2022 17:59

2.5K is a lot to save in a month - do you have very high rent/mortgage at the moment, or are you thinking that you won't be paying your parents for bills etc?

I wouldn't do this personally - you mention moving into your old room, so suggests your parents don't have a huge house and 5 adults and 1 baby are going to be falling over each all the time. Not to mention that your parents and sibling are going to be constantly disturbed.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 29/01/2022 18:01

So in four months, you're going to save 10k, find a house, buy it and move in?

Because if not, you're going to be there at LEAST a year, but likely much longer.

grapewine · 29/01/2022 18:01

Not fair on your parents. It's unlikely to go well.

Igmum · 29/01/2022 18:03

How big is the house? Do you all get on? Are you all very tolerant people? What do your parents think of this idea? If it's a large house with multiple bathrooms, you all get on and your parents are on board this could be marvellous. Lots of baby cuddles for grandparents, extra help for you. It could also be a raging disaster so tread carefully here

Original poster
Pendingmummy · 29/01/2022 18:03

To all those saying won't be fair on your parents it was actually their idea my dad is working abroad for those 4 months. So will be 4 adults

OP posts:
Chely · 29/01/2022 18:06

I wouldn't with a child.
My BIL and his wife lived with PIL to save for a deposit, never paid any rent/board so great for them. SIL requested they allow her to do it and she was told NO! My dh was never offered any help from them, we rented and saved for a house (we had a baby too).

Original poster
Pendingmummy · 29/01/2022 18:06

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

So in four months, you're going to save 10k, find a house, buy it and move in?

Because if not, you're going to be there at LEAST a year, but likely much longer.

4 months to save the extra 10k we need for the deposit we have other plans after those 4 months whilst we are house searching
OP posts:
Original poster
Pendingmummy · 29/01/2022 18:07

We will be paying £800 a month to them which is much lower than what we are paying in London right now

OP posts:
Original poster
Pendingmummy · 29/01/2022 18:08

@Wandda

What do you parents think of the idea?
It was their idea
OP posts:
hauntedvagina · 29/01/2022 18:08

I would absolutely do this. There's a room available, you can save a fortune and your parents are on board with the idea. Go for it.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 29/01/2022 18:09

Could you move somewhere cheaper than where you live now?

ClaymationHeartsStillBeat · 29/01/2022 18:09

Bearing in mind all your posts, do it!!

LetsGoParty · 29/01/2022 18:16

It sounds like a good plan. Maybe it would be worth you all having a sit down and discussing all the details beforehand. How much you will help, visitors, storage, babysitting, chores, noise, parking etc etc. My main reservation would be how annoying the 8 month old would be-although, TBF I find babies very annoying 😅😅

What does your sibling think?

How many reception rooms are there?

caringcarer · 29/01/2022 18:19

Your Dad might feel happier working away if your Mum had more company. You could try it for a month and see how it goes.

Curiousmouse · 29/01/2022 18:21

Good plan, it seems.

UnderTheMoonlightWeDanced · 29/01/2022 18:21

If my amazing mum hadn’t offered us a place to stay while we saved for a deposit me and my husband would never have been able to buy a house. If they are happy to have you then yes do it.
A friend of mine once went “ugh o could NEVER have lived with my mum with my boyfriend at 25!” I then reminded her her parent gave her £125k to buy her house and some of us didn’t have the same opportunities and this was my mums way of helping us buy a house and we were very grateful!!!!

DisforDarkChocolate · 29/01/2022 18:23

With one person away and good relationships I'd do it.

ShinyHappyPoster · 29/01/2022 18:26

What does the adult sibling think?
I wouldn't do it.

Darbs76 · 29/01/2022 18:29

If you get on with them why not. Depends on how likely they are to interfere / make comments / get annoyed etc. For many people it works out fine and it’s the only way for many to get the deposit money together. I think that everyone just needs to respect each other and ensure that everyone gets some space and isn’t left doing most of the chores / making excessive noise etc