To ask how often you feel ‘well’

[Merryoldgoat]

Full disclosure: I’m fat, unfit, two children with ASD and both DH and I have full on jobs.

I’m constantly tired, never feel ‘well’ and have been ill nearly constantly since October - I’m on my third chest infection since then.

I have a CPAP which has helped the tiredness but I still feel ‘bad’ most of the time.

I am losing weight and improving my diet but it’s a long road.

Am I not going to feel good until I’ve lost loads of weight? Or are there some things I’m missing?

I’m so worn down. I was really positive at the start of the year - was doing Yoga which sorted my sciatica and lost 21lb since Nov but then I got unwell a week ago and I feel like I’m back to square 1.

What's your diet / exercise like?

I find I feel "well" when I'm on top of my vitamins (I'm anaemic and very vitamin D deficient), if I am eating well - fruit and veg, complex carbs, fibre etc - every day, and getting fresh air and exercise in. Which is much easier without all the hectic bits in life, yours sounds like you've got a lot of other things going on too. Have you had any tests at all?

If I have a week of not eating well / exercising I already feel worse for wear, which is so annoying! Self care does help me too, but again it's time dependent.

I'm very lucky. I'm 53, menopausal and yet I'm very rarely unwell.

I'm often tired but that goes with the territory of working hard, as well as having pets/family/house etc to look after.

My diet is very up and down - some days great, some almost entirely junk.

I need to really take myself in hand - it’s just hard some days.

I don’t exercise much - the yoga is all I can manage at the moment. I detest walking but probably need to find a good podcast and just get over myself.

I’m feeling low today - I’ve felt so ill for months it’s just depressing me.

About once a month, but I’ve got lupus, fibromyalgia, several degenerated discs in my back and chronic migraine… so it’s a bit of a battle. Trying to eat healthily and keep your mental health healthy will help. Self care is your friend but I appreciate that there’s not much time for that. Accepting you’re “ill” or at least not at full capacity helps too. Turning down some invitations and some work because you know you won’t be able to cope too. I still find this bit hard, but it’s necessary.

Pretty much consistently I feel well, but I e worked hard to create a lifestyle where that’s possible - outdoors for an hour each day, regular Pilates, good sleep and food, added vitamins. I also have weekly therapy which means I don’t hold on to tension, sadness, anger etc in the way I used to - this helps my body too I think.

@caulkheaded

That sounds very good. I’m quite lazy physically and need to change that somehow.

You are not lazy merry, you're tired. You've been unwell, have CPAP machine and are working full time.

Lost 21lbs and do Yoga are positives - don't be hard on yourself .

I feel well all the time unless i'm unwell with a cold etc.

I don't do anything special, eat too many crisps, don't do enough excercise, drink too much wine. Couple of stone overweight.

I'm aware that i've been lucky though so far and now that i'm 46 I need to start looking after my body better into middle age.

@blowingagail

That’s really kind of you. I literally couldn’t stay awake this morning and it’s fell back to sleep for 3 hours.

I really need to think about changes as I can’t carry on like this.

I rarely feel "well". It's depressing. I'm not quite 34, very slim, on the surface I look very healthy and in great shape. In reality, I am perpetually exhausted and feel unwell. I've got one DS (3) and two DSS (5 & 8), a full on job, and an absolute crap diet. I get a lot of sleep but never feel rested. I know I should eat better but I just .. don't.

I feel well almost all the time. Sometimes completely psycholocically and physically exhausted but if I can get 20mins of quiet and peace, I can recover from that.

I am on sertraline. I have good support in my life but a lot of demands on me. When I was heading for a nervous breakdown I felt ill all the time. Exhausted, headachy, fluey...it was an anxiety disorder.

The other time I often felt unwell over a long period was when I was suffering recurring uti's in my 20's.

Its not nice being below par constantly, but I do think mental health is the source of a lot of chronic unwellness for a lot of people.

I haven't felt 'well' since I was pregnant with DC1 11 years ago.

I vary from feeling better to feeling like shit. But never well.

Same boat OP! I'm overweight and work work shifts including nights, plus I've had a lot of crap stuff happen in the past two years. I'm always tired, headaches and my vertigo seems to like to resurface.

I need fresher food, more exercise and daylight. I'm hoping when spring comes I might feel more motivated but the dark days just make me want to sleep.

Honestly, at 43 I’ve noticed that not a day goes by without some kind of minor ache, pain or tiredness.

I’m slim, reasonably fit, take a bunch of multivitamins and supplements.

I’m putting it down to age I guess. But I wouldn’t say I feel ill as such.

Have you had blood tests Merry? You sound like you're running on empty, by the time you've had a full on day at work cooking properly and going for a walk are big asks when you're not 100%.

I felt the same not so long ago and my Vitamin D was very low.

Honestly, you are doing a lot, try to look after yourself and worry about the fitness when you haven't got a chest infection/have recuperated a bit.

I feel well pretty much all the time. I have a good work/life balance, try and get enough sleep, walk lots, eat fairly healthily and drink plenty of water, I take vitamins too. I rarely get ill.

I usually feel well, even though I have a chronic health condition and am menopausal.

Sleep, exercise, a good diet and down time are all really important I think.

It sounds like you are doing brilliantly with the yoga and weight-loss, OP. Do you have time to fit in a daily walk too, even if it’s just short?

I occasionally feel well for half a day in January but then get yet another headache plus iron deficient (fatigue and very cold hands). Beginning to wonder if I am coeliac as I appear to have quite a few symptoms.

I am 58 but feel it is really hard to feel well for any length of time. There is always a niggling complaint or two.

Slippery slope since age 40 yo be honest lol.

Am only a stone overweight do not smoke or drink plus eat and sleep well.

I would love to be one of those who never gets sick....!

I feel OK ish.. not "well" .... had a heart attack 4 years ago, all managed now with medication... menopause is not being particularly kind with night sweats and joint pain, but generally feel OK ish.

You are all very kind.

And I’m sorry that some of you feel the same as me - it’s shitty.

My health definitely nosedived after having DS2 - I now have hypertension, high cholesterol (this is genetic though), PCOS (since teens) and Vit d deficiency.

I take Vit D daily plus good multivitamin as well as my medication.

I had blood tests a while ago and they were normal except Vit D.

I feel like my brain never switches off and I’m
Juggling too much.

What is really like is a break but it’s just not possible. The boys and life just make it too hard.

I was feeling so good a few weeks ago - positive and feeling like I had a good plan and then DS2 gets ill and now I’ve had it worse.

@Egghead68

Those are all things I’m rubbish at prioritising. I need to really focus on sleep and diet. 100%

I could get a short walk at work - certainly 15 mins round the block. It needs to start being a habit.

My basic state is being well with little effort, I maintained my weight and healthiness without too much sacrifice but always taking the stairs not the lift and not having a car

What put a spanner in the works was some non sleeping children, I craved carbs, became much grumpier etc and nothing has really helped apart from some me time I carved out by doing C25K were I didn't go very fast but was on my own, until I got more sleep and was able to be kinder and eat healthier

I don’t drink enough for it to be an issue - can go weeks without touching it. I don’t smoke now (16 years!) so that’s good.

Sleep diet and exercise are going to be my focus and I’ll see how I get on.

First up @Merryoldgoat would you talk to a friend like you talk to yourself? You have done some amazing things already so celebrate those. 21lbs is great! Getting help with the cpap is great!
I think maybe getting your head in the right place is the main thing to focus on. If you aren’t ready mentally to make changes then it won’t be sustainable - and you need this to be sustainable. Crash diets and obsessive exercise aren’t the answer.

You say you detest walking… what physical thing do you enjoy? Dancing, swimming, classes? Can you identify what it is you dislike about it? I hated going outdoors in the cold and wet, hated getting changed and having to spend time getting somewhere as well as the time exercising. In-home walking works for me, it’s not too strenuous, put on YouTube and I can spend whatever time I have doing something I like. Leslie Sansone and Get Fit With Rick are my favourites. Getting moving boosts endorphins and gives you more energy to then deal with whatever is going on. The change in my mood has been the biggest benefit to making sure I get in even 15 minutes walking a day.

Weight loss is mainly diet though, you know this. But a good mood helps with other good choices. Whatever you do needs to be sustainable so if you haven’t already looked at calculating calories based on BMR do that. TDCC calculator is the thing. And make sure you eat those calories! Going too low isn’t going to help long term. There’s loads of advice to be had on the YouTube channels I mentioned and groups on here, on Facebook etc if you need motivation. Track things honestly and see if that helps with planning meals.

It’s not easy, that’s true, but you know that it’s about getting you to be the best version of yourself, with energy for your family and friends and life. You’ve done so well already! Time for a reset and move forwards again. You can do this, baby steps and handholds all the way x

@theculture

Yes - the children are an ‘issue’ at times. DS1 didn’t sleep through until nearly 4. DS2 had reflux.

Both have ASD and are prone to nasty colds and coughs so it’s been a terrible few months.