To ask how often you feel ‘well’

[Merryoldgoat]

Full disclosure: I’m fat, unfit, two children with ASD and both DH and I have full on jobs.

I’m constantly tired, never feel ‘well’ and have been ill nearly constantly since October - I’m on my third chest infection since then.

I have a CPAP which has helped the tiredness but I still feel ‘bad’ most of the time.

I am losing weight and improving my diet but it’s a long road.

Am I not going to feel good until I’ve lost loads of weight? Or are there some things I’m missing?

I’m so worn down. I was really positive at the start of the year - was doing Yoga which sorted my sciatica and lost 21lb since Nov but then I got unwell a week ago and I feel like I’m back to square 1.

Ah reading all of your posts it makes so much sense!! As I said I'm VIT D deficient (I will never be off the tablets!) and I also have PCOS too.

It's so hard to make the changes though it's like climbing a mountain, and then a bad day can set you back weeks. I started with small changes, less refined sugar (PCOS and refined sugar is a disaster, same for refined carbs and processed food, so basically everything I enjoy and is easy 😂). PCOS has a terrible habit of out balancing the entire body - on top of everything else you've got going on I imagine it's really not helping you. If you can I'd really focus on eating as well as you can, sticking to it is easier now for me because I know my limits - unless I'm having a terrible week and throw it all in the laps of the gods - I've mainly got the hormonal side covered. It made such a difference. That then made me feel like tackling exercise wasn't as terrible, mainly walking to start with which was low impact and free!

Sounds really crappy OP, but you can definitely make small positive changes to hopefully help you feel well 😊

I'm proper overweight (BMI 36), 49 and menopausal. I have some joint pain, mostly wrists, hips and hands, which I suspect is menopause related. I have some lower back pain/sacroiliitis since an accident in my 20's, it's manageable.

But I used to suffer with terrible abdominal pain, all the time. I had IBS and whatever I ate, there was a good chance I'd end up crippled with cramps. About once every 5 years my DH would, with some concern and trepidation, describe in detail a very slight cramp he'd had for 3 seconds, and I'd think, jeez I thought everyone had pain every day and that was normal.

And then I finally got to grips with cutting out all sugar and eating low carb, in an effort to lose weight despite being menopausal. Not only have I dropped a stone, but my stomach pains have all but vanished. If I relax my rules for a day or two I quickly get them back again.

So I'd say I feel "well" 99% of the time now, whereas before I regularly felt off.

How much time do you spend outside? I am outside for at least 3hrs a day and it makes a huge difference to my wellbeing. I am slightly overweight, eat more rubbish than I should but I am v rarely ill.

I am 61 and have a bad heart. I’ve had double bypass and have an implanted pacemaker. I work and walk a minimum of 20-45 minutes almost every day, including up a fairly high local bridge. I am a size 10 (US. I think it’s a 14 there) People at work who started after my heart issues began find it hard to believe I really have heart issues. I feel pretty good, energetic and “normal” about 95% of the time. If I don’t walk for a few days, I begin to feel sluggish and fluid begins to build up. So, keep moving! I am living proof that your health is your choice, and wherever you are, you can improve it.

Being low in vit D can definitely make you feel rotten, so take some good supplements.

@Sprig1

I’m hardly outside at all - I don’t really like it but obviously need to make changes

@MadCattery

That’s amazing. I can definitely make a lot of changes and I really need to start.

@gobbledygoook

Thank you for your post - it’s so kind. I always feel better once I get rid of the refined sugar - it’s just a weakness but it’s time to really sort myself out.

I feel so bad all the time and it’s all my fault but I’m on 43 - I can make the next year a better one.

I always think a break from the normal routine is important to feel well and rested. A week's holiday somewhere you can really get away from it. Just as a kind of reset. Also - decluttering! I know this sounds weird but if I have too much stuff around me, unfinished projects, broken things, piles of papers etc it is a real mental weight and also physically difficult to be around and leaves me worn out. If you can declutter as much as possible you will feel like a different person (if you have a lot of clutter).

I have endometriosis so chronic pain and very heavy, longer than normal periods resulting in anemia which means I often feel unwell. I also have a DC in nursery, a DC in primary school so all there's always a good chance that the usual childhood illnesses they bring home will be passed on. I don't drink enough water and my work/life balance over the past few years has been shit, particularly the last 18 months. I'm taking steps to address it. I've recently reduced my hours at work from FT to three days a week and am trying to prioritise looking after myself but it's not easy with young children.

I didn't say that I feel pretty rubbish constantly Merry, work very full time, study, single parent to ASD teen. Coming to the end of chemotherapy amongst other things.

I do yoga and pilates once a week at my gym and try to do something at home every other day. Work is constantly manic and I rarely get away from my desk during the day - so I really get it.

Also overweight, I have just started using nutracheck which I like the look of, it caters for 5:2 which I am planning to do so 🤞🏻. I don't want to eat too restrictively because I won't stick to it so logging everything on there is my first line of attack.

I can't remember the last time I felt physically unwell- several years ago at least.
I will be 60 in a few weeks time and have no health conditions.
I care for two family members, work 30 hours a week, but prioritise exercise. I attend a yoga class almost every day, and do body pump too.
I am a healthyweight, take care over my diet- take vitamin D,and look after my mental health too.
I rarely have a cold or even a headache.

Honestly, losing weight helped me, but it's not the be all and end all. For me, wellness comes from whatever eliminates stresses from my life. I go swimming a few times a week, get out in the fresh air as much as possible, take a shower every evening just to enjoy the peace (two small kids, you gotta do SOMETHING to decompress) make sure I get as much quality sleep as possible, do some light stretches / yoga so I don't feel stiff and sore, and using an app like headspace or calm before bed to wind down a little. Oh and multivitamin and multi mineral, vitamin D3 and vitamin c.

No matter my weight, if I try and focus on these things then I always always feel better. This past 10 days my partner has been in hospital, I've had no help with the kids, barely slept, skipped vitamins and meals, haven't gotten for a swim or a relaxing walk and I've come out in awful stress eczema and feel like I'm on my last legs. It's really hammered home to me how much the steps I take to feel more relaxed go a LONG way to my overall help.

Really hope you find your thing op. Might not be any of mine above, but if you figure out what helps chill you out and unwind, I promise it helps a lot xx

Obviously if you’re unfit you’ll need to build up slowly, but exercise can really help

I felt grotty all week, woke up this morning feeling a bit rubbish / cold-y. 25 Mile mountain bike ride gossiping with the ladies and I now feel loads better.

Obviously not suggesting anyone who is actually properly sick jumps on their bike, but for me exercise can help shift the rotten feeling

I’m 43 and usually am full of bounce and relatively healthy, since I suppose July last year when I started having the vaccines I have felt the after effects of all three of them (Better than covid!), then caught covid at Christmas, feel whacked from that and am now ok my third eye infection in two weeks 🤷‍♀️. So generally I’m feeling like a bag of crap, which I’m not used to!

@MadCattery

I am 61 and have a bad heart. I’ve had double bypass and have an implanted pacemaker. I work and walk a minimum of 20-45 minutes almost every day, including up a fairly high local bridge. I am a size 10 (US. I think it’s a 14 there) People at work who started after my heart issues began find it hard to believe I really have heart issues. I feel pretty good, energetic and “normal” about 95% of the time. If I don’t walk for a few days, I begin to feel sluggish and fluid begins to build up. So, keep moving! I am living proof that your health is your choice, and wherever you are, you can improve it.

This is really impressive, well done you!

I totally agree, even letting your "thing" slip for a few days can send you tumbling back and feeling a bit rubbish. I've just been through similar where my routine went to pot and I feel like death, you have to keep at it as best you can! X

I'm nearly 62 and have no health issues. Exercise regularly, eat well and bloods etc fine. If I drink white wine I get awful reflux so I avoid.

@Vanillacronut

I’m 43 and usually am full of bounce and relatively healthy, since I suppose July last year when I started having the vaccines I have felt the after effects of all three of them (Better than covid!), then caught covid at Christmas, feel whacked from that and am now ok my third eye infection in two weeks 🤷‍♀️. So generally I’m feeling like a bag of crap, which I’m not used to!

Really hope you start to feel better soon, it's miserable when you've had a lovely run of feeling great to be brought down like that x

I really was a bit worried about posting this but it’s been really helpful.

The decluttering suggestion is also great and necessary.

I am about to take on a massive project at work and whilst I’m really excited, it’s going to be a massive responsibility and I need to be at my best.

I’m going to have a really good think about the small changes I can make and see how I go.

I’ll also speak to my husband about getting support from him.

Lately I feel like it’s been one thing after another. I think kids and broken sleep accounts for much of it at the root, unfortunately

Then again who feels normal in January. It feels like it has 70 days in it!

Health and life are easier if you don't view them as a strict linear thing. You started the year off well, thus setting foundations for good habits, muscular memory etc, then life got in the way, but all is not lost. You start out small and build on your new year foundations. In this manner, even if you do good month/not so good month in turn throughout the year, by Christmas you will have had 6 'good' months, and an even firmer foundation.
On your 'off' times, try to grow your spiritual/emotional/mental good health, so even if you are too tired for physical workouts, prioritise good quality sleep, mindfulness, mantras, whatever helps you. I also focus on moisturising my body, using de-aging and de-stressing tools (the type of stuff you buy and are forever guilty by as they shame you from your dressing table. Spend time outdoors, gardening and pottering and nourishing your soul.
I have figured this out due to the stop start nature of my health plans due to chronic severe pain. By devising and partaking in the above, I don't feel guilty about being too tired or ill to exercise or stick to a rigid exercise or improvement plan .

@UsernameInTheTown

That’s a really helpful way to frame things and such a good way of trying to feed my whole self.

Thank you

have a read of the book Atomic Habits (James Clear). It's very popular for a good reason :)

Most of the time tbh.

But I live like a nun really. Loads of sleep, not much alcohol, I exercise moderately and we eat well. I don't smoke or take drugs.

So it's unsurprising really

Also one small idea - if you have space for some home exercise equipment like a cross trainer that might be good. Getting to the gym, using the equipment, getting changed, showered etc and coming home takes a couple of hours! if you have something at home you can use it while watching TV in the evening if it's right there without the need to take extra time to get out and exercise if time is an issue. I would highly recommend. You've got to make it a habit though.

Good luck with the project!

Some really good advice above; small steps add up (even if slowly)