Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To dislike leaving the house in the morning

68 replies

Iwilltakeitifitsgoing · 29/01/2022 10:28

So this is really stupid but just wondering if it’s just me or if anybody else struggles with this.

Ever since I was little, I have hated leaving the house in the morning to go to school / work. I am always fine once I’ve actually left and arrived but I have this real dislike of actually going.

Very occasionally if I can’t face it I have a sick day. I mean like maybe twice a year max.

In jobs I’ve hated I’ve sometimes only been able to get myself in by telling myself I’ll go home and say I am ill if it’s really awful.

I sound really weird …

OP posts:

Bellabatwings · 29/01/2022 23:51

Have you thought about a backshift job?
I do 2-10 and its wonderful!!
No alarm needed, wake up naturally around 7-8.30am, coffee, bit of housework, long shower, hair and makeup, make a lovely lunch.
Arrive at work feeling relaxed and refreshed!
I used to start at 6am years ago and vowed never to do it again!
The early finish does not make up for the early start imo
Once you get into the backshift mindset you wont ever want to go back to alarms and rushing around early.

needmoreshinys · 29/01/2022 23:54

@Winterweb

To be honest YANBU. I'm undiagnosed ADD and have functioned pretty normally my whole life (40's, finished school and college with decent grades, married, kids, jobs etc) but I like home. I'd Leah's rather be at home and yes sometimes, I just don't want to go out in the morning (and now I'm older the evenings too!). Between 10.30 an 3 suits me fine! 😅

I dont understand how you can be undiagnosed anything

You mean you read something and think you have it?

Sorry OP for the disrailment

lakejupiter · 30/01/2022 00:07

@needmoreshinys yes, it's when you have many symptoms of something but haven't had an official diagnosis by a doctor or specialist. GPs are pretty reluctant to diagnose complex stuff and with something like ADHD there's not too much point to getting a diagnosis as an adult because not much can be done. There are also lots of things a GP can't diagnose, only a psychiatrist can, but it's nigh on impossible to see a psychiatrist if you're functioning okay.

Self diagnosis can be a bit dangerous (google rabbit holes, inventing symptoms) but on the whole especially with mental health stuff a diagnosis is a set of symptoms/criteria. If you notice you meet a lot of those diagnostic criteria then you can access a lot of tips and resources to help manage the issue.

Put it this way.....if you ate something that didn't agree with you and started throwing up, you might realise you have "undiagnosed" food poisoning and treat yourself accordingly. You might have it wrong, and you might actually have gastroenteritis, but either way by resting and drinking electrolytes etc you're treating the main symptom of both. Difficulty and discomfort with transition is a big ADHD symptom and knowing that has helped my access a lot of resources and tips to treat that symptom, despite being technically undiagnosed. Hope that makes sense.

lakejupiter · 30/01/2022 00:10

And OP - I also struggle with this!! I WFH and find that if I let myself sit on my sofa with a coffee I will lose track of time and start feeling even more afraid of switching tasks or leaving the house. I think it's partly being a night owl and partly possible ADHD. I find it helpful to do stuff like have a shower the night before, lay out what I'm going to wear and get dressed straight away, and not let myself get too comfy basically or the fear gets worse. And like you I'm fine once I'm out but WFH & lockdowns have made it a bit more pronounced.

User48751490 · 30/01/2022 08:17

Working back shift or nights you would make you appreciate your current situation.

Watchingpeppa12 · 30/01/2022 08:29

Yes! And also like @EmmaH2022 I have a small window that I actually don’t mind being out of the house, atm it’s approx 9-4/5. Defo linked to the season, in the summer it’s more like 8-8!

Original poster

Iwilltakeitifitsgoing · 30/01/2022 08:33

@User48751490

Working back shift or nights you would make you appreciate your current situation.

I don’t want to, even if it was remotely possible in my line of work. I think I’d feel exactly the same about going to work at 8pm as I do getting to work for 8am.

OP posts:

Mybumlooksbig · 30/01/2022 08:37

Yanbu....I love being at home and dread mornings where I have to rush around and leave

mycatisannoying · 30/01/2022 08:40

How were you at school, OP? Did you have similar feelings going there? My primary school was brutal, and I still remember my freeze or flight response to being there. I used to comfort myself with the thought that I could pretend to feel ill if it got too bad. I never did, but it made me feel better. And even now, I occasionally go down this thought pattern at work!
It's a coping strategy.
I guess I'm saying that it might be helpful for you to explore when and why these sorts of feelings first started.

Original poster

Iwilltakeitifitsgoing · 30/01/2022 08:44

Oh yeah - I think it stems from school. I also hate feeling like I have to spend the day at work while life goes on outside. It’s very strange!

OP posts:

Festivecheer26 · 30/01/2022 08:47

I’m the same OP. Just with mornings going to work, fine to leave any other time of the day.

I’m just not very organised and don’t get enough sleep so mornings are a struggle. We hot desk so every day there’s hassle finding somewhere to sit and making sure I have everything I need - I can’t be arsed with that and it puts me off going!

Guacamole001 · 30/01/2022 08:51

I used to spring out of the bed and house when younger. Now it is harder and harder. Especially Mondays!

userxx · 30/01/2022 08:54

@Iwilltakeitifitsgoing

Oh yeah - I think it stems from school. I also hate feeling like I have to spend the day at work while life goes on outside. It’s very strange!

Surely working is a massive part of life. Don't get me wrong, on a summers day I can imagine myself in a beer garden rather than in front of a pc!

MumUndone · 30/01/2022 10:08

Same here. Always put it down to low level depression.

zingally · 30/01/2022 10:14

I tend to struggle with that on a Monday. We're real homebodies and don't leave the house much on the weekends, especially during term time. And that seems to make the Monday morning "leave the house" even harder!

And of course, it's MUCH harder in winter! I leave the house about 7:10, and everything about walking out the door is an effort. Plus I feel like a pack horse. Coat, handbag, work bag, lunch box, coffee cup and bottle of warm water to de-frost the car.
The mornings are drawing out though. Definitely not TOTAL darkness when I walk out.

Eslteacher06 · 30/01/2022 10:18

I haven't rtft sorry...but do you have kids? Cause cajoling them out the door to be remotely anywhere near on time is pure hell! So on that score I totally understand!

Lalliella · 30/01/2022 14:49

I think YANBU. You like your comfort zone. Some people like going out, others are home birds. We can’t all be the same. As long as you get enough vitamin D and are happy I don’t see a problem.

Original poster

Iwilltakeitifitsgoing · 30/01/2022 15:33

I do have kids but I’ve always been like this!

Surely working is a massive part of life

Of course, doesn’t mean I have to relish going there

I go out loads at the weekend and holidays. I suppose I just prefer it when I decide when and where.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3