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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To dislike leaving the house in the morning

68 replies

Iwilltakeitifitsgoing · 29/01/2022 10:28

So this is really stupid but just wondering if it’s just me or if anybody else struggles with this.

Ever since I was little, I have hated leaving the house in the morning to go to school / work. I am always fine once I’ve actually left and arrived but I have this real dislike of actually going.

Very occasionally if I can’t face it I have a sick day. I mean like maybe twice a year max.

In jobs I’ve hated I’ve sometimes only been able to get myself in by telling myself I’ll go home and say I am ill if it’s really awful.

I sound really weird …

OP posts:

Overtired201984 · 29/01/2022 21:44

Omg I’m exactly the same , have been for years , we are deffo a bit odd lol . Mine is from a mix of anxiety / social anxiety / and stomach issues …… but I could have wrote what you wrote .
I don’t know how I’m gonna cope with going back to the office , even if it’s just 3 days.

Overtired201984 · 29/01/2022 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedCandyApple · 29/01/2022 21:56

Why are you rushing? Not getting up early enough?

Definitely not I’m not a morning person at all

QuizzicalEyebrows · 29/01/2022 22:08

You are not alone.

I love my job right now but I have never been a morning person

GreenNewDealNow · 29/01/2022 22:09

I'm the same. I don't think there's anything wrong with us, we are just not naturally morning people and it's a reaction to being forced into a system that doesn't suit us.

mynameiscalypso · 29/01/2022 22:11

Totally. And it's not about being a morning person or not. It's nothing to do with the time or how long it takes to get ready or anything like that. For me, it's about feeling like I'm trapped and I have to go which makes me feel like I don't have control. It happens for things I actively like doing too!

QuornSausagesAreTheDevilsPenis · 29/01/2022 22:12

I'm OK with going to work (well no, I crap myself each and every time but I do it) but on the weekends/my days off I really struggle with leaving the house. Can't do it by myself unless I have a purpose (like doctor/dentist/pharmacy visit sort of thing). So if you're weird op, so am I.

User48751490 · 29/01/2022 22:14

Maybe working nights would help. Most of the world is asleep.

marlowe5 · 29/01/2022 22:15

I feel like this. Once I am at work, when I am not wfh, the day goes quickly. But it's the effort, the feeling that I'm going to forget something and for me, the discomfort of being in a variety of different workplaces as a visitor where I am having to think on my feet and not have homecomforts around me (like kettle within east reach etc.) I think the older I get, the more comfort I have at home in having things just as I like, so work feels uncomfortable and an effort! Admittedly my workplaces are not particularly nice environments and usually a hassle to travel to.

oviraptor21 · 29/01/2022 22:18

I'm the same.
I'm also sometimes the same with non-work things including hobbies etc.

TempsPerdu · 29/01/2022 22:48

Yes, I think I can identify with this. I don’t think mine is social anxiety or anything like that, as I’m totally fine if I can start the day at my own pace, happily leave the house at other times, and I really enjoy socialising in the evenings. But for as long as I can remember I’ve felt anxious and overwhelmed whenever I have to get up and leave the house early. I was a grade A student at school, but was late pretty much every single day. Couldn’t face 9am lectures at university. Feel discombobulated, even after a good night’s sleep, and can’t face food when I first get up - feel sick or have to rush to the loo with IBS symptoms if I’m hurrying. Can’t fathom why anyone would voluntarily get up early, let alone do pre-work yoga or go for a run.

I think I’m just a classic night owl. My parents and brother are the same, and preschooler DD is now showing signs of following suit - very strong night owl genes! I just wish the standard school/working day could shift a bit later.

MissMaple82 · 29/01/2022 22:53

Not weird, I too have been like this for years. I have a job that means I can choose my start time, sometimes I don't get in till 1pm because I can't face any of it

MissMaple82 · 29/01/2022 22:54

But like you, once I'm there, I'm fine, but the next day I'm the exact same

GirlOfTudor · 29/01/2022 22:56

I've felt this in the past. Partly because I'm not a morning person and partly due to psychological associations.
In my childhood my mum would always be late, so that meant I was always late for school. So I therefore associated leaving in the mornings with the pressure and anxiety of running late.
As I got older and attended secondary school, I was bullied everyday so dreaded school every single day. I avoided as much of the morning as possible to avoid the bullies. I think I associated mornings with the awful way bullies made me feel.
This has improved with time, having a job I enjoyed, working later shifts and, more recently, working in a job that offers flexi time (so technically I couldn't be late!).

That's my therapy session done! perhaps there are underlying reasons for your emotions too?

TheChosenTwo · 29/01/2022 23:03

I’m pretty similar, not a morning person at all plus going through a bit of a tough time at work. I get up early enough not to be in a mad dash but would rather be anywhere than at work!
Plus it’s a shit time of year - must be January 2734th today - although dd and I commented yesterday that it was still light-ish at 5pm today so the days are slowly getting longer…

nodogz · 29/01/2022 23:17

Hate all transitions. Leaving the house. Getting in/out the shower. Stopping what I'm doing to have a wee.

Not anxious. Not agrophobic. Not depressed. Not lazy. Not stupid. Probably adhd.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/01/2022 23:24

This is a bit of an eye opener for me, as I saw your link and thought “surely everyone on earth hates this!”. Obviously not from some replies.

Yanbu OP - I’m exactly the same - hence thinking everyone else was too

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/01/2022 23:26

nodogz - yes that’s exactly it! Going to bed and getting out of bed being the biggest one but to some extent all transitions!

TooManyPJs · 29/01/2022 23:27

Yes totally - most days when I don't have to go out I stay in. And I hate the thought of having to go out the following day. But I have ADHD and struggle with all transitions. Once I am out like you I am usually fine (but do sometimes get stuck in the car eg when I arrive at where I am going I can't get out).

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/01/2022 23:29

Why are you rushing? Not getting up early enough?

I get up earlyish, fanny about with a coffee or two. Feed and dress/sort out 4 dc and don't rush in the slightest. Never been late ever.

^^
Which jus shows were all different. I don’t agree with being late for others but that leaves plenty of room not enjoying the process of getting up and out!

secular39 · 29/01/2022 23:31

Hmmm. I hate the whole getting ready, and would rather he in my warm bed in a cold morning. But! when I do go out in the morning,eg., to the Gym, I feel refreshed and ready to start my morning day.

Pea79 · 29/01/2022 23:33

@Iwilltakeitifitsgoing

Me! This is me exactly! It's like a work-based depression, but once I'm actually there, I'm fine. I don't even mind the commute that much. It's very specifically the thought of having to leave the house to go to work. I have no issue leaving the house at other times.

I have taken many a sick day and last-minute annual leave days, simply because I can't face going in. It's so weird, because I don't even mind my job that much.

I'm fortunate in that I've been WFH since March 2020, but I know one day I will have to go back in and I know I will feel exactly the same about it when that day arrives.

sarah13xx · 29/01/2022 23:38

I think I have this! I used to dream of being able to be at home to watch this morning, as dull as that is, it was just the idea of being cosy at home that I loved. I am at home now (don’t always watch this morning 😂), I’m on mat leave but have started up an online shop which is doing really well. It just involves me posting orders out to people and can all be done in my nice cosy bubble without having to go to work and have unexpected events or conversations thrown at me all day long. I really enjoy having the control over it. So much so, I really don’t want my life to go back to that when mat leave comes to an end but leaving is also a big commitment 😕 I’m pretty sure it must be an anxiety thing, it wasn’t until a year or two ago that I started realising what an anxious person I have become, all while functioning on a normal level but just inside feeling highly uncomfortable and now avoiding situations if I can just because I hate the interactions

lightisnotwhite · 29/01/2022 23:39

Not sure why this has to be an anxiety or problem. Everyone finds some bit of the day challenging.
Don’t understand it myself as I quite like the promise of a new day and getting on with it.
However I love coming home but then find the evenings a bit of a challenge. Slightly depressing and hard work.

BabyPotato · 29/01/2022 23:51

I hate leaving the house and it always makes me a bit sad. It doesn't matter what time it is as I don't mind mornings, but I just get really depressed and anxious about going out. Mostly to work but sometimes for other reasons too. I think this is an anxiety thing for me because I have GAD and I stress about everything. I'm not actually going to work anymore due to my MH, but I'm kind of self employed and WFH with minimal human interaction these days and I'm so much happier. I know I have to get a proper job eventually so I'm trying to work on this anxiety so I can leave the house in the mornings again.

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