To ask if you can think of an excuse which will get 11yo off PE for the rest of term?

[HelloKittyGirl]

Just that, basically. What would get her off games for a few weeks?

No I wouldn't do it, we just don't lie in our house. Just feel it's important we are honest and teach our children to be so. When she's lying to teachers you'll not have a leg to stand on telling her it's not acceptable.

Buy her some skins and tell her to get on with it. Exercise is good for her and learning resilience is also good for children.

What about the non academic kids? They have to struggle through lessons every day but don’t have a choice! Just get on with it. The weather is a pathetic excuse. Put more clothes on. You’re raising a real snowflake there. In a decent school non sporty kids should have options that aren’t humiliating for them.

@Hercisback

The humiliation argument doesn't really wash either. Being crap at maths isn't easy and there is plenty of stigma attached to that. Not being good at something is not a reason to not do it.

It's more like not being good at maths in the days when children had to call out their test scores in front of others, or move up or down desks based on how well they'd done lately so that it was publicly and constantly apparent who was crap at maths, and they would be told that the competition was good for them.

Schools stopped doing these things for good reason.

[quote SE13Mummy]@catchingzzzeds "Our school have a good system where they must still get changed into kit and be wherever the lesson is taking place"

My DC2 with their broken limb has just said a new PE teacher is bringing in this rule and the consequence for not getting changed is a detention. Getting dressed is really hard for DC2 at the moment as it is. Walking to school carrying a PE kit, and then carrying it around all day (no lockers or anywhere to leave the kit) is going to make a difficult, painful time all the more difficult and painful. DC2 wants to be able to join in with PE but can't because of the broken limb. To be made to get changed into their kit doesn't feel helpful or kind. They've attended PE lessons without being able to join in and it's pretty obvious the injury hasn't been made up! Whilst I understand that requiring students to get changed if it's believed that they are trying to be elsewhere is one strategy, I can't see its benefits to children with broken limbs![/quote]
I'd be complaining to the head about that nonsense.

@SenselessUbiquity

I am really curious as to why there is such a strong view that it's a terrible lesson that kids learn that they have some choice in what they do, and they don't have to do things they don't enjoy that have no value to them.

One of the worst lessons I ever learnt, and I learnt it far too well, is that you have to do everything other people want you to do. I have stuck at shit jobs and shit relationships far too long in my life. I am 50 now, and gosh life is short. I wish to god I'd wasted less of it on
this defeatist attitude that you just have to get on with things.

Well said. I realised this about myself at around the same age as you. My life is far happier as a result.

My mum just told the school I wouldn't be doing PE and that was that.

I didn't 'opt out' because I never chose it to begin with!

PE made me miserable. I was super anxious about it. And got very embarrassed.

If this was my kids I'd let them stop too.

Is just telling the school not an option?

Also why do we need to make children do things that they don't want to do?

My children aren't ever learning this particular lesson.

It's bullshit.

Morgan, your posts are refreshing. Your mum was great!

Puts me in mind of Nigella Lawson's mother who wrote to Nigella's school, saying, "Nigella is far too sensitive to do geography", :-).

PE made me miserable. I was super anxious about it. And got very embarrassed.
Me too!

I didn't realise pupils could actually opt out, am glad they can.

So when these children have a job and get a task they don’t want to do, they’ll just say they’re not doing it? Mum said I don’t have to do things if I don’t want to?

Also realised the OP said her DD is at a selective grammar. So assuming she's at least in the top 25% academically (or some the selectives take only the top 10%), is this the only thing she's not naturally good at, and is being allowed to just give up? Terrible lesson to learn.

Its good for naturally academically gifted children to have something that they find tough and have to make an effort in. Something that they don't just find easy and learn that it takes effort and time to improve. Or even learn to cope with other people being significantly better than them at something. (And no, walking to school and back isn't going to be enough exercise for a teen if you live less than 2 miles away from the school.)

It is important to expand your comfort zone and learn to do things that are difficult but so much about PE isn't it. I learnt nothing from rounders other than how to make daisy chains.

Thing is I DID do things that were damn hard like learning how to drive and to ride a bike as an adult - both achieved without most of PE.

Also, it was only during girl PE lessons (areobics, badminton) I ever broke a sweat and learned to use a skipping rope in secondary school.

For context I am ND and there was no real attempt to scale PE for children with disabilites or injuries. IF anyone was a wheelchair user they'd have spent the entire time on a bench, freezing doing nothing useful at all.

So instead of supporting your daughter and speaking to staff about the problem and helping her overcome it you're teaching her that lying and running away from a problem is how you deal with things. Well done

It's still obvious who is rubbish at maths without the test scores being read out. The children could tell you who is best and worst at most subjects.

PE isn't all competitive (no more so than other subjects). There's lots of focus now on skill building rather than picking teams to play against each other.

I felt this way about drama class. To this day, I cannot bear any kind of role play. But doing it taught me that in life we sometimes have to do things we don't enjoy. I wouldn't lie for a child to get them out of doing something. I think that's a terrible lesson for them.

I’d support mine with this.

I bloody hated PE, she hates it too. It’s the whole teenage thing and self consciousness.

I used to be a teacher, a member of my formused to call it ritual humiliation.

The sky isn’t going to fall down if she doesn’t do it.

@Theluggage15

So when these children have a job and get a task they don’t want to do, they’ll just say they’re not doing it? Mum said I don’t have to do things if I don’t want to?

There will always be things we don't want to do but have to; nobody has to do PE.

There will always be things we don't want to do but have to; nobody has to do PE.

But this attitude will and does carry over into the workplace. I've been on the receiving end of 'I don't see why I have to xxxx' from very junior employees. But I'm guessing the 'my precious child shouldn't have to get cold' brigade and the tough love types are never going to agree on this!

It's not just about fitness, it's about team building and team work!

+So when these children have a job and get a task they don’t want to do, they’ll just say they’re not doing it? Mum said I don’t have to do things if I don’t want to?*

Dss noow 34 wriggled out of every p E lesson.

He’s now got a really good job, 2 kids and doing well. Teens do grow into adults. I don’t think he’s ever said ‘mum/dad didn’t want me to’

😂

She won't be in the library, she'll be stood watching the rest of her cohort participating. Tell her to suck it up, she has a lifetime of doing stuff she doesn't want to do, PE is a good place to start dealing with that

Why do you want her to miss it only for a few weeks? What's the difference with her doing it in now compared to 3 weeks times. If it was my DD she'd be getting on with it like everyone else

This attitude will and does carry over into the workplace. I've been on the receiving end of 'I don't see why I have to xxxx' from very junior employees

I've been on the receiving end of it from their mothers - and funnily enough they "didn't see why their offspring should have to do xxxx" either

Needless to say they were got rid of, and that was "everyone else's fault" too

You should not be facilitating your daughter to get out of things just because she does not like them. Doing things you don’t like builds resilience and is part of life

This has to be the most ridiculous AIBU post ever! I agree that if she gets enough exercise already then it’s not that important, however I think you should be teaching your daughter that guess what sometimes in life you have to do things that you don’t enjoy. Tell her to suck it up and get on with it. As a parent you should also be pushing her to move out of her comfort zone, she may start to enjoy it. What happens when she’s older and decides she doesn’t want to go to work cos they have something going on that day that she doesn’t like? I’m guessing she’ll think it’s ok just to call in sick. You should be setting a better example.

@lucie82

It's not just about fitness, it's about team building and team work!

As I said previously....

I don't think standing waiting, knowing you will be the last person to be picked because you are hopeless at PE, and the ensuing shame of a terrible performance teaches you anything about teamwork actually. It's an exercise in public humiliation for some children.

I've worked in teams where patients' lives depended on us being an effective team. None of that effectiveness was learned or improved by being humiliated weekly in PE.