To ask if you can think of an excuse which will get 11yo off PE for the rest of term?

[HelloKittyGirl]

Just that, basically. What would get her off games for a few weeks?

@Ericaequites

I went to a private girls’ school, so have never been to a coed secondary gym class. One need not experience something to know it’s wrong. It’s not right for boys and girls in puberty to exercise together. It’s too suggestive for them to interact in revealing clothing. Coed classes rule out most sports because boys are so much stronger and more violent.

Boys are not necessarily stronger, and in year 7 the girls will mostly be more physically mature than the boys. And boys and girls do many activities separately, even in a co-ed school.

'Revealing clothing': ever seen the average school gym or sport outfit? If anything seeing the opposite sex doing school sports is more likely to put kids off them than be madly suggestive!

School libraries work differently in the United States generally, but we have double or triple the funding per pupil.

@Ericaequites that’s fab for US schools. Meanwhile, back in Blighty, I am solely responsible for the reading ages of 500ish pupils across KS3. If those reading ages don’t improve year-on-year, it’s on my head and my head only. So yes, phoning parents is a daily occurrence for me, amongst the 101 other tasks I have to fit in around my classes. A student who genuinely can’t do PE because of an injury etc. is more than welcome to come and use the library - I’ll just stay late that day or skip lunch. A student who has come in because they don’t like the cold and mummy has enabled that? Nah, no time for that.

Please don’t insinuate I’m ‘whining’ when you have no idea about the job of a school librarian in the UK. It’s insulting and I feel embarrassed for you.

@CrankyFrankie

It's called

R E S I L I E N C E

Without resilience, your mental health is shot.

Generally, you become resilient because you've been through shit and upsetting times.

The resilience comes because you've suffered, it doesn't prevent it.

I think it’s wonderful that you are teaching your daughter the essential life skill of lying. I’m sure she’ll go far in life. You never know - she might even make it to Downing Street.

@AnneofRedGables. Aren’t English teachers responsible for reading ages? I’ll agree to disagree, as I don’t and probably can’t understand how English state schools work.

I'm shocked that the school allows people excused from PE to go to the library and do homework. I think there are days I'd have preferred to do that. But we had to be out in the same weather, watching the lesson or litter picking around the field. No one got to sit inside. So actually it was worse to be let off PE as you were just as wet/cold and not moving around to get warm, By masking a nice, warm alternative, the school is enabling the lying excuses really.

Our local secondary school put the children in sets for PE so none of that being last to be picked nonsense. Makes it much more fair in my opinion.
I wouldn't lie for my dd but l would reward her for doing it until she gets used to it

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

I'm shocked that the school allows people excused from PE to go to the library and do homework. I think there are days I'd have preferred to do that. But we had to be out in the same weather, watching the lesson or litter picking around the field. No one got to sit inside. So actually it was worse to be let off PE as you were just as wet/cold and not moving around to get warm, By masking a nice, warm alternative, the school is enabling the lying excuses really.

Yes, I'm sure once word catches on you can go and sit in the library with a note from mum there will be many joining her. It's why most schools are sensible enough not to allow that

I don't think people should be encouraged or permitted to lie to get out of things, but that's to develop the value of truthfulness, not resilience. I hate the idea that forcing people to do things they dislike develops resilience. It's not a million miles from the Victorian idea that beating children would build character Life involves both good and difficult experiences for everyone, and the easier you can deal with more difficult things, which are normal things most people are expected to do, the easier and happier your life is. I think it is better to join in with things you are expected to do at school or at work, unless they are unreasonable. This is where the victorian beating comes in - it isn't reasonable to beat a child, it is reasonable to get children to exercise outside

I agree the lying is a different point.

Generally, you become resilient because you've been through shit and upsetting times

The resilience comes because you've suffered, it doesn't prevent it

I thought that resilience comes from having properly processed and dealt with difficult experiences from the past, not just to do with going through difficult experiences. Not everyone who has experienced upsetting things will have processed their feelings and recovered. I also thought that being resilient does prevent future suffering because it means you are able to process and deal with difficult things better and more quickly than people who are not resilient. So difficult things wouldn't hold you back or burden you or negatively effect your quality of life in the same way as they would a less resilient person.

Tolerance and resilience, 2 of the most important factors in mental health and you are actively teaching against them. Imagine how the teacher will feel to see a parent to actively working against you, disgraceful op.

@ddl1 @fairylightsandwaxmelts

Of course children shouldn't be forced to do things purely because they don't like them...!! (How exactly did you infer that from my comment(s)?!)

But it's P E! I hated PE. I forged the odd note to get out of it. I also have a few good memories of it and I love exercise today. My point is (other than the obviously moral one, which I already voiced) that there are much more challenging issues ahead of this girl (and her peers). If you're being shielded from PE because the weather is cold, then how are you going to cope with real life?

Resilience can be built up gradually. It doesn't necessarily come naturally for a parent to instil it in their child but it's about playing the long game. You need to talk to and reason with your children; not enable them to always take the easy path. They need help in eventually understanding that the world doesn't actually revolve around them.

Who wants to drop their baby at nursery and go to work? Nobody. What about when your baby screams and cries, begging you in their own way not to leave them? I have no option but to leave my child there. I'd say that's much harder and 'crueler' than a PE session. Yet it's a perfectly accepted (and actively encouraged) product of modern life, and the way I square it with myself is that it is building resilience. Of course I prefer the gentler approach - eg with my older child who is capable of reason. He's 4 and he's already solving problems for himself, noticing life's complexities, tackling obstacles head on, digging deep and developing grit. Even just choosing to eat the crusts of his sandwiches is a win in my eyes!

Apparently there has been an explosion of mental health issues in young adults since 2008. Are kids happier today, now that their parents enable them and excuse them? I don't think so.

@Excited101

Tolerance and resilience, 2 of the most important factors in mental health and you are actively teaching against them. Imagine how the teacher will feel to see a parent to actively working against you, disgraceful op.

I agree tolerance and resilience are important but I don't think they should be built through pointless issues like school PE. Some people can be put off exercise for life due to the poor handling of PE lessons. I think schools should wonder why some kids hate it so much and look at more choice so they don't cause damage to the perception of exercise as completely unenjoyable forever. My own school actually did think about some choices for less 'sporty' kids and it worked really well in cutting down on avoidance.

I don’t think not doing PE will have any affect on tolerance or resilience at all.

Resilience is about how you deal with adversity.
It starts early with learning that you can't always have what you want when you want it, loosing at games, dealing with disappointment, failing and trying again and again.

Personally I'd like my disabled daughter to be allowed to do another type of exercise rather than stand on the sidelines in PE during contact sports - why can she use the gym, go for a run etc. No she has to stand and watch in her full pe kit. Waste of time

willweevergetthere
Damn. I am embarresed for the school in that it is 2022 and apparently it STILL has no provision for disabled/injured students. Even studying PE or doing something else would be a better use of time than standing on the sidelines. I've never understood what exactly are 'standing on the sideline' or 'sitting on my butt watching other people exercise' workouts are supposed to achieve.

@Becky11

It is absolutely impossible to post anything on MN without being judged. Why can't people just reply to the question being asked. You don't have to agree. You have the control, as we all do, to keep scrolling. We all parent differently. And just because someone has different ideas on what is best for their own children does not make them wrong or an available target for vitriol just to make you feel better about your own parenting. I wish people would stop saying, posting and wearing Be Kind slogans and actually just do it.

Erm…isn’t the whole premise of originating a posting on an AIBU inviting/seeking others to judge your intentions/actions/thoughts??

Plantar Fasciitis gets my vote. It affects the bottom of your foot (Google it for writing a convincing letter) and can take weeks or months to heal (and can probably flare back up at convenient times). Tennis elbow would only excuse some sports but not running so I think a foot issue would be more helpful to get off all sports.

By the way I'm keeping my opinion to myself if this is the right or wrong thing to do, I'm just answering the question given as best as I can.

@rebeccachoc

Plantar Fasciitis gets my vote. It affects the bottom of your foot (Google it for writing a convincing letter) and can take weeks or months to heal (and can probably flare back up at convenient times). Tennis elbow would only excuse some sports but not running so I think a foot issue would be more helpful to get off all sports.

By the way I'm keeping my opinion to myself if this is the right or wrong thing to do, I'm just answering the question given as best as I can.

Good for you! If only more people would do so.

Op why don't you teach her to tax dodge and cut in line?

Is she hefty?

It'll be a lie to make something up, but what's the actual PE lessons she wants to miss?. (So many of the girls hate rugby and hockey at our secondary. It's outside in ridiculous cold and they all get bashed. Our school does half term of each, so .. )

Fractured finger (non dominant hand)

My DD has fractured a finger twice (ironically done in PE lessons!) . Google how they strap up finger visually - so DDs was strapped to another finger all the time for first week then it's gentle movement & taking finger sock/strapping off and only using when it aches- no carrying with that hand either) But for your purposes is also no sports for about 4 -6 weeks.

My DD was "not unhappy"
to miss rest of hockey season, bit sadder when it was basketball !

Erm…isn’t the whole premise of originating a posting on an AIBU inviting/seeking others to judge your intentions/actions/thoughts??

Yes, I think some people are not understanding what AIBU stands for

@3Daddy31982

Op why don't you teach her to tax dodge and cut in line?

Is she hefty?

Hefty ?

Anyway ...

I wish you'd enabled voting OP. It would have been really interesting to see opinions without the need to post.

2 of my 3 older ones hated PE. I knew they fibbed to get out of it and i turned a blind eye.

Are they now fat, dishonest, selfish non-team player types? Nope, funnily enough. Happy healthy well adjusted early 20 somethings with decent jobs.

I hated PE and bunked it from aged 14 onwards. I'm not a selfish ''hefty'' liar either.

3Daddy31982

Op why don't you teach her to tax dodge and cut in line?

.................
I don't know what 'cut in line' means but your previous suggestion is not bad:-). That's what accountants are paid for.

Laiste, your children had the right idea, good for them. Hiding in the cloakroom or library is good too. However I understand one can just refuse to do PE nowadays.