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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this wasn't an invitation to move in?

53 replies

ILikeToSleepALot · 27/01/2022 20:09

I usually live in city A, where I have a flat and a job, atm mostly WFH, but I do go in every once in a while & soon more often. I’ve been staying with my mother in city B lately to help while she’s recovering from an accident, and commuting between cities- a temporary situation.

A friend in city A who gave up being in a lucrative industry because she wanted to follow her dreams is now working a minimum wage job and can only afford to be a lodger. The house she lives in is very noisy bc of other lodgers, she’s having trouble sleeping. She’s been complaining and I ended up saying she could crash at my flat sometime for a quiet night when I’m in city B with my mum.

To my surprise, a few days later she announced she had given notice to her landlady and she was expecting to move in to my flat. She said she would try to couchsurf elsewhere when I’m coming to the city for work. She said it would be for a few weeks while she looks for a better lodging situation. I said this was not what I offered, I can’t agree to her living at mine as her main place and without a definite move out date, so I won’t be letting her crash there after all, and she shouldn't have given notice.

She is now saying I’m abandoning her and judging her life choices. AIBU? NC for this btw because she knows my usual nickname!

OP posts:
NoVaxDjokovic · 27/01/2022 20:10

What a chancer. Tell her to jog the fuck on.

DreamerSeven · 27/01/2022 20:10

She’s crackers, good for you for putting her right.

FreedomFaith · 27/01/2022 20:11

Wow she is rude as hell! You're right to tell her no, her life choices are not your concern. She made that choice, she has to live with the consequences.

pinkyredrose · 27/01/2022 20:11

How strange! Why in earth would she give notice without anywhere to move to?

MrsTrumpton · 27/01/2022 20:13

Cheeky mare! Good for you for putting her in her place. Thank god she showed her true colours before she got her feet under the table.

ShadowPuppets · 27/01/2022 20:13

Complete CF, she’s clearly purposefully ‘misunderstood’ your offer. One of those give an inch take a mile people. Well done for putting her straight from the get go, stick to your guns.

DisforDarkChocolate · 27/01/2022 20:14

You dodged a bullet there.

minou123 · 27/01/2022 20:15

Abandoning her??

She's your friend, not your child Grin
When did you suddenly have responsibility for her?

She's a right piss taker, but it brings to mind:
"You give an inch, they take a mile".

WhyYesYABU · 27/01/2022 20:17

Wow, no good deed goes unpunished. CF!

25summers · 27/01/2022 20:18

YANBU! Judging her life choicesHmm because you offered her a place to stay while you were away, and she thought she could move in? Oh my!
Good on you for telling her straight.

grapewine · 27/01/2022 20:19

Rude and cheeky. Good on you for putting her right. Abandoned her? Please. Not enough eyerolls for that one.

Doggydarling · 27/01/2022 20:19

Well done you, she choose her lifestyle now she can live it. No way you should being paying to put a roof over her head. Let her off and be glad she showed her true colours early on.

EmoIsntDead · 27/01/2022 20:19

Wow, what a cheeky fucker! I hope she's reading this and is at least embarrassed!

IncompleteSenten · 27/01/2022 20:19

You would never have got rid of her.
The second you said she could spend the odd night there, she decided to move in. No doubt thinking that once all her stuff was there you'd feel too guilty to boot her out.

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 27/01/2022 20:20

Oh dear, she was moving right in wasn't she?! Bullet dodged there!

Planetzero · 27/01/2022 20:21

Don’t let her stay even for one night.

gamerchick · 27/01/2022 20:23

Nah man, bravo for slapping that boundary down. Nice to read on here for a change.

Swerve the sob stories, she's not your problem.

MaggieFS · 27/01/2022 20:24

Blimey, she was opportunistic wasn't she. Well done for cutting that off. Totally different if you had an end date and knew when she'd be moving into new lodgings, but I wouldn't even risk that now.

iklboo · 27/01/2022 20:30

Very lucky escape OP.

PrincessNikla · 27/01/2022 20:34

I wouldnt have bothered NC she should know its her that you are talking about??

RockAndHardPlace1 · 27/01/2022 20:36

She's a right CF! Shock as if she thought it would be okay to move into your home!

SirGawain · 27/01/2022 20:38

She is now saying I’m abandoning her and judging her life choices. AIBU?
Her life choice has made her homeless, it’s not your responsibility.

Flickflak · 27/01/2022 20:39

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Iloveacurry · 27/01/2022 20:40

A massive CF!

ChaToilLeam · 27/01/2022 20:40

What a chancer!! You’d never have got rid of her.