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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Builder and tea. WWYD?

192 replies

Rosiesmydog · 27/01/2022 18:53

So, one of my oldest and dearest friend is having an extension done. I said to her that she’d have to get proper milk and make lots of cups of tea because the builders won’t like soya milk and need regular cuppas. She looked shocked and said if they want proper milk they’ll have to bring their own and she would only make them a cuppa when she makes her own, which is about twice a day! After a bit of a discussion, she stated that it was good manners to bring their own milk if they didn’t like her soya. I pointed out that i thought it was good manners to keep your builders happy and just buy proper milk and make them regular cuppas because they are outside, in the cold, doing a hard, physical job. She’s not convinced! So WWYD?

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 27/01/2022 20:55

@FrankGrillosWrist

Being a builder’s thirsty work, they need good strong tea. I’d make them tea & offer snacks too. Or a kettle, & tell them to help themselves when I was out.
My dad and my husband would both offer drinks to tradesmen working in their houses. It’s polite.
FooKingDong · 27/01/2022 20:55

@Hb12

Part of the family?! Because they're in our house? It takes more than that 😂
No - my builders are lovely (far preferable to XH), and they have been here so long that they are part of the family. One of my (young adult) DC made one of them a birthday cake. I will confess at this point (in the context of this thread) that one of them is dairy intolerant, so I buy soya milk for him. I also buy sweetener for another one. I would not normally buy either of these things, but it's nice to oblige. In turn, they oblige me by doing all sorts of little manly jobs that I don't much like, such as putting the bins out. We are all happy.
Smartiepants79 · 27/01/2022 20:56

Ooops sorry quoted wrong thing!!
I meant to reply to the comment about men not bothering!! 😳

roastingmichael · 27/01/2022 20:58

I'd make sure there was tea, coffee and biscuits left out and plenty of milk. I would also make sure they knew they could help themselves.

I would not spend my days making drinks and snacks for builders!

CasperGutman · 27/01/2022 21:03

When we had our extension done I was WFH. I offered tea/coffee when making it for myself, but generally they looked after themselves with their own kettle and milk (outside - they didn't need to come into the 'clean' part of the house every time).

WarmSeaSwimmer · 27/01/2022 21:06

@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea

Ah but the real question, do you let them use your toilet?
No way! Multiple trades on-site using the toilet for months on end is not good. A portaloo is the way to go.
2DemisSVP · 27/01/2022 21:07

For me, short project, make them tea when they arrive and then every time kettle goes on I’d offer them too. Morning break , lunch , afternoon break.

Long term build with more than 2 builders / trades: set up a station for them with kettle , milk , biscuits so they can help themselves.

We had the water company out recently in the main road near our house. I made them tea after a couple of hours and another before I went to bed. They reckoned it’s much less common nowadays and they only get offered every 4-5 weeks. They’re key workers !! We couldn’t survive long without them ! Least they deserve on a cold January night is a cup of tea.

So, if they’re working outside yours tonight, please offer them a brew ☕️

BreakfastClub80 · 27/01/2022 21:08

Our builders brought their own kettle, tea bags and milk. They used to make me cups of tea 😊

FooKingDong · 27/01/2022 21:08

I let them use my loo, too. Sorry.

FooKingDong · 27/01/2022 21:10

@2DemisSVP

For me, short project, make them tea when they arrive and then every time kettle goes on I’d offer them too. Morning break , lunch , afternoon break.

Long term build with more than 2 builders / trades: set up a station for them with kettle , milk , biscuits so they can help themselves.

We had the water company out recently in the main road near our house. I made them tea after a couple of hours and another before I went to bed. They reckoned it’s much less common nowadays and they only get offered every 4-5 weeks. They’re key workers !! We couldn’t survive long without them ! Least they deserve on a cold January night is a cup of tea.

So, if they’re working outside yours tonight, please offer them a brew ☕️

This, too! I had British Gas working in the road outside my house today. I offered them all tea and biscuits. It costs nothing to make life a bit nicer.
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 27/01/2022 21:10

Do all these tea makers not work themself?

CailleachGranda · 27/01/2022 21:14

It's been at least a week since we've done this.

Have we had the posters yet who make homemade pies etc and sent the builders home with a pile of food?

FooKingDong · 27/01/2022 21:16

I do, @OnceuponaRainbow18. If I'm not working at home, I do the first cups of tea then leave them the run of the house, with instructions to help themselves to whatever they like (I leave an electric kettle out, with all their 'special' things, including their favourite mugs). One of them brings ready meals, so he can stick them in the Aga.

ANameChangeAgain · 27/01/2022 21:17

A lot of tradespeople I know professionally take a flask and a packed lunch. Its nice to offer a fresh cup of tea and a bit of cake or biscuit if you are in, but most just want to get on with their work.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 27/01/2022 21:18

@FooKingDong

Can’t work out if you’re joking or not…

FooKingDong · 27/01/2022 21:19

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@FooKingDong

Can’t work out if you’re joking or not…[/quote]
Honestly, I know it's MN, but I'm not joking. My builders are fab.

hangrylady · 27/01/2022 21:28

@hopeishere

There is no way I would be making cups of tea for anyone. I'd show them the kettle and say if you want one go ahead.
You sound like a horror
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 27/01/2022 21:30

@hangrylady

Or a super busy person who hasn’t got time to make themself a cupa let alone builders

TabithaTiger · 27/01/2022 21:35

Some of these posts make me feel like I've been transported back in time to the 1950's

"It's nice to be nice"
"In return they do manly jobs like emptying the bins"

FFS

teawamutu · 27/01/2022 21:35

Personally I'd get proper milk/soya if someone was going to be spending a significant amount of time working on my house. Also have no problem making tea or coffee regularly.

[Am I the only one who absolutely loathes the term 'cuppa', by the way? Not a dig OP, it's just a word I know.]

FooKingDong · 27/01/2022 21:41

@TabithaTiger Do you enjoy doing bin-related things? I don't. So if someone else is going to do them, I'm not going to say no...

TabithaTiger · 27/01/2022 21:45

[quote FooKingDong]@TabithaTiger Do you enjoy doing bin-related things? I don't. So if someone else is going to do them, I'm not going to say no...[/quote]
I don't see emptying the bin as a 'manly' job. It's just something that needs doing. You don't need a penis to empty a bin.

RampantIvy · 27/01/2022 21:53

Proper milk? I presume you mean the stuff intended for calves.

Blimey. That’s a bit sanctimonious.

While I agree that this doesn’t really concern the OP, I think responses telling her to keep her beak out are rather rude. I always think that you foster more goodwill by providing drinks for workmen. The last thing I want to do is piss them off. I don’t like having builders covered in muck having unrestricted access to my kitchen and would rather DH or I made the drinks.

A happy working relationship with the tradesmen in your home generates good will which helps during requests for additional tasks, changes or differences of opinion. A few hob nobs and a warm brew really isn't going to put you out but you'd look a bit pathetic if you don't provide some refreshments. It's nice to be nice!

Exactly

IMO I think the OP’s friend is being unrealistic and inhospitable by not getting some cow’s milk in. I must admit that I’m surprised at the amazement that there is an expectation to provide drinks for workmen. Although we have never had anyone come to do a job that takes more than a few days anyway.

Milk that comes from a cows tit that they make for their calf is far from ‘normal’! It’s 2022, only people 40+ drink cows milk- what age bracket are you op?

Another hysterical over-reaction. Of course it's normal. You may not agree with it, but the vast majority of tea and coffee drinkers who take milk will have cow’s milk in their drinks.

ScrollingLeaves · 27/01/2022 21:59

I would buy milk and the sort of tea they like and plenty of simple biscuits anyone would like.

Then ai’d put tea in a large flask on a tray with biscuits and sugar and leave it with them, and set out a new one a bit later.

Or, I’d leave them with a kettle, milk tea and biscuits to make their own whenever they want.

I reckon drinks help
with their work especially if it is cold, or hot.

FooKingDong · 27/01/2022 22:11

@TabithaTiger No, you don't need a penis to put the bins out. However, I'd rather a penis-bearer did it, if there's a willing and able penis-bearer hanging around.

I do also get DS1 to do it when he is back from university, on the grounds that a) he is a man; and b) he is the oldest DC. So that's a double whammy. The others have to do it if they happen to be here, with the penis-bearers being first in line for Bin Duty (and Recycling Duty, come to that).

All the other jobs are gender neutral. But not the bins.

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