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Original poster

Builder and tea. WWYD?

192 replies

Rosiesmydog · 27/01/2022 18:53

So, one of my oldest and dearest friend is having an extension done. I said to her that she’d have to get proper milk and make lots of cups of tea because the builders won’t like soya milk and need regular cuppas. She looked shocked and said if they want proper milk they’ll have to bring their own and she would only make them a cuppa when she makes her own, which is about twice a day! After a bit of a discussion, she stated that it was good manners to bring their own milk if they didn’t like her soya. I pointed out that i thought it was good manners to keep your builders happy and just buy proper milk and make them regular cuppas because they are outside, in the cold, doing a hard, physical job. She’s not convinced! So WWYD?

OP posts:
TabithaTiger · 27/01/2022 19:05

I think it's weird that women seem to think they need to run round providing hot drinks for builders. Men wouldn't do it. They're being paid to do a job, they're not doing it out of the goodness of their hearts! I would offer them a hot drink if I was making one for myself, but I only have oat milk so they can take it or leave it. Other than that they can provide their own drinks just like I have to when I'm at work Hmm

FrankGrillosWrist · 27/01/2022 19:06

Being a builder’s thirsty work, they need good strong tea. I’d make them tea & offer snacks too. Or a kettle, & tell them to help themselves when I was out.

CorsicaDreaming · 27/01/2022 19:08

@TabithaTiger

I think it's weird that women seem to think they need to run round providing hot drinks for builders. Men wouldn't do it. They're being paid to do a job, they're not doing it out of the goodness of their hearts! I would offer them a hot drink if I was making one for myself, but I only have oat milk so they can take it or leave it. Other than that they can provide their own drinks just like I have to when I'm at work Hmm

My DH makes as many as I do. It's not exclusively "wimmins work" Wink

TicTacHoh · 27/01/2022 19:08

Sounds like you already judged her using soya milk and relished that the opportunity to tell her to buy 'proper' milk.

soughsigh · 27/01/2022 19:09

I had some work done on the house when I was pregnant and had a huge tea aversion. I told the trades that I wouldn't make them tea/coffee because of it and showed them where the kettle was, left out some biscuits/sugar and told them to help themselves. Only 1 person (out of 6) did.

I don't know if they necessarily need constant cups of tea bringing.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 27/01/2022 19:10

Yanbu for even thinking about this. I usually make them a cuppa when they arrive then tell them to help themselves. They can supply what ever they like if what I use isn't to their taste.

Original poster
Rosiesmydog · 27/01/2022 19:10

@TabithaTiger

I think it's weird that women seem to think they need to run round providing hot drinks for builders. Men wouldn't do it. They're being paid to do a job, they're not doing it out of the goodness of their hearts! I would offer them a hot drink if I was making one for myself, but I only have oat milk so they can take it or leave it. Other than that they can provide their own drinks just like I have to when I'm at work Hmm
My friend doesn’t work. And she’s single. As for it being a woman’s job, these are builders we’ve used on a number of occasions ourselves and my DH has always made sure they are well provided for with tea
OP posts:
DoTheMerengue · 27/01/2022 19:10

I’d buy a bottle of proper milk, leave out the tea and kettle and tell them to help themselves, and offer to brew up if I was making one.

Relationship · 27/01/2022 19:12

Always provide tea and biscuits for builders or if doing long term work put out the spare kettle for them to make their own. Family who are builders normally all have there own kettle they plug into the there extension cable for tea especially when doing outside work.

lunar1 · 27/01/2022 19:12

I think its always a good idea to treat people working for you well. It's just the decent thing to do.

Fearnyleaves · 27/01/2022 19:13

@hopeishere

There is no way I would be making cups of tea for anyone. I'd show them the kettle and say if you want one go ahead.
This.

I also have to take my own drinks to work.

Wowzel · 27/01/2022 19:15

Our Bulgarian builder laughed at me when i offered drinks and said it was just a weird thing English people do

moomee12 · 27/01/2022 19:16

My builders got 2 a day, 1 when they arrived, then once when I was making one after lunch.

I wouldn't be making them hourly cups of tea!

TheChosenTwo · 27/01/2022 19:18

If I’m home and builders are here I make them a tea/coffee before I go to work, bacon sarnies on a Friday, biscuits are bought and usually a cake is made!
Dh runs the building firm we use (funny that Grin ) but when they are doing renovations they usually have their own kettle and someone picks up a pint of milk on their way to work.
He said usually if someone’s home they will shout a couple of times a day that they’re offering to make tea and ask them all if they want one.
He said there’s been varying degrees of ‘hospitality’ but generally they’re happy to bring their own. He did once tell me about a couple who had gone on holiday and locked their fridge so they couldn’t put their milk in!
He also said they meet on site at 7:30, have a tea, talk about the plan for the day and start work at 8, 10:30 tea break, lunch at 12:30, work til 4:30, home. So 3 cups of tea during the working day.
I don’t drink hot drinks (absolute filth Envy ) so i always think 3 is loads but people I work with drink far more than 3 hot drinks a day so maybe not!

NiceTwin · 27/01/2022 19:20

I only drink 1 brew a day.
If we have workmen in, I pop all they need on a tray and tell them to help themselves.

I think it is the least I can do when they are doing a physically demanding job for me.

ThePoint678 · 27/01/2022 19:21

@Wowzel

Our Bulgarian builder laughed at me when i offered drinks and said it was just a weird thing English people do
This.

Outside of the UK you pay your builder to do a job and they do it. You don’t have to consider their tea drinking habits and take time out of your own work day to make them “a cuppa”.

HomeIsDogs · 27/01/2022 19:22

Proper milk? I presume you mean the stuff intended for calves. Hmm

Keep your beak out. If the builders don’t like it, they bring their own. My friends husband is a builder, he’s a vegan and only drinks oat milk. I don’t think he’d want your ‘proper’ milk.

EdinaMonsoon · 27/01/2022 19:22

I would buy them regular milk but I wouldn’t be making tea for them except perhaps when they arrive in the morning & later in the day if I was making one for myself. Whenever we have had work done that extended over a few days or more, I put together a tea/coffee tray including a kettle so that they can help themselves. Same with decorators etc. It’s really quite ridiculous to expect anything more IMO

Amichelle84 · 27/01/2022 19:23

I'd make sure I had milk in and let them know to help themselves to cuppas when they wanted one.

bigbluebus · 27/01/2022 19:23

My DH would always offer a hot drink to a tradesman if he was here when they were. In fact he offers drinks to workmen who will barely be here long enough for it to be made and drunk before they finish the job.
I always make drinks for trades who are on site all day. They tend to have set breaks so I boil the kettle ready for their break - usually 3 times a day - morning, lunch, mid afternoon. If I'm going out I leave everything out for them to help themselves.
I would always supply fresh milk and biscuits - even though we rarely have biscuits at any other time. If I had a workman or guest who needed soya milk then I'd buy that in too.

Ileflottante · 27/01/2022 19:24

@TabithaTiger

I think it's weird that women seem to think they need to run round providing hot drinks for builders. Men wouldn't do it. They're being paid to do a job, they're not doing it out of the goodness of their hearts! I would offer them a hot drink if I was making one for myself, but I only have oat milk so they can take it or leave it. Other than that they can provide their own drinks just like I have to when I'm at work Hmm
Quite. I think based on the builder coffee thread, the OP was hoping we’d all pile on her ‘friend’.

OP, why on earth do you think you’d need to do anything?

For some reason I can imagine you fretting at the gate with some bottles of cow milk and some homemade flapjacks, waving at the builders you have apparently used yourself before and apologising to them profusely on behalf of your poor friend, while they look on utterly bemused.

Nutrigrainygoodness · 27/01/2022 19:25

My mum doesn't make tea. You have coffee or dehydrate.
But when she has builders in she borrowed my spare kettle and put a little tray upstairs with tea, coffee, sugar, milk, cups, spoons, cans of coke, biscuits and crisps.

If builders came to my house right now they could have juice, dolce gusto flat white or a twinnings fruit tea.

MrsTrumpton · 27/01/2022 19:25

I agree with you on supplying normal milk but not with the expectation that your friend should spend the day making them endless cups of tea, especially if she's working herself. Our builder brought his own kettle for his crew and while I would make them one if I was making myself one, generally they just sorted themselves out.

Hb12 · 27/01/2022 19:26

I would get milk, buy only make tea if making my own.

Original poster
Rosiesmydog · 27/01/2022 19:27

@TicTacHoh

Sounds like you already judged her using soya milk and relished that the opportunity to tell her to buy 'proper' milk.
I don’t judge her choice at all. Why should I? I use oat milk myself. Maybe saying ‘proper’ milk wasn’t the best choice of words to use here especially given the judgey attitude of mumsnet
OP posts: