To ask what we'd put down as our marital status?

[Elsalvador]

With DH for 20 years. Not married and I don't want to turn this a debate about whether we should be or not :)

Looking for life insurance quotes, and the marital status is either married, single, divorced, separated, widowed or civil partnership. None of these fit. What would you put? I don't know whether this affects the premium displayed. Does anyone know? Thanks so much in advance

[MajorCarolDanvers]

married, single, divorced, separated, widowed or civil partnership

Each of these has legal definitions and implications

Living together does not.

For this form you need to put single.

[Dixiechickonhols]

A4513 no I fully understand not in some peoples financial interests to marry/civil partner. And they make considered decision. But for lots of partners civil partnership just doesn’t seem to be contemplated as an option and it’s been there for a few years now for opposite sex couples.
But there’s a cheap way for people who do want their partnership recognised (cheaper than 2 wills) and it doesn’t seem popular, I’d have to look for stats.
I suspect answer is a mix of things - not in financial interests to civil partner, one partner is still married to someone else, one or both are hoping to marry, not aware it’s an option, can’t be bothered with paperwork, already consider themselves married (had religious ceremony) but not legally married.

[LadyGoddiva]

I know I should have said DP. Call it force of habit as it's often easier to refer to him as my husband (social conventions and all that)

Sorry but this makes you sound as if you are ashamed and embarrassed by being together but unmarried.

If you are happy with being unmarried, you'd be expected to refer to him as your partner.

It's actually lying to call him your husband.

And rather odd that you want the social status of being 'married' (and choose to call him that) yet are actually happy to be unmarried.

Does he call you his wife?

[userxx]

He's not your husband. He's a boyfriend/partner at worst, fiance at best if he's proposed.

Why is boyfriend a worst case scenario ? It might be the OP who doesn't want to marry and share her cash.

[LadyGoddiva]

I'm also not sure if you would actually get any insurance if he dies (first) when you are not married.

[Db384792xbfb]

By contrast, I say "DP" in real life even though we ARE legally married - we did it just for the legals/financials and told nobody, to avoid drama! Did it mainly with IHT and pensions in mind but then ended up saving much more than the ~£150 it cost us using another marriage related tax break. Hah!
Didn't even need any time off - giving notice appointments were done before work, actual marriage done on a Tues or Weds lunch break.

OP you should definitely run the numbers and book an appointment for CP or marriage if it's needed. I've seen enough sudden deaths now to know not to assume all will be OK... You can treat it purely as paperwork and not tell people you know!

[diddl]

@LadyGoddiva

I'm also not sure if you would actually get any insurance if he dies (first) when you are not married.

Can you not name a beneficiary?

[trunktoes]

I'm another one who doesn't get why OP is confused about her marital status

[ivykaty44]

I don't understand how you can be unsure about this tbh OP

^^this

do you really need to ask?

[Dixiechickonhols]

I do think it’s odd to say husband surely you’d just say partner - I’d think a colleague was odd if they introduced Dave as their husband then later transpired they were unmarried. I can understand not correcting in casual conversation though eg making chit chat at school gates what does your husband do - Dave’s a brain surgeon or whatever.

[Kelly7889]

You are single.

[girlmom21]

@Dixiechickonhols

I do think it’s odd to say husband surely you’d just say partner - I’d think a colleague was odd if they introduced Dave as their husband then later transpired they were unmarried. I can understand not correcting in casual conversation though eg making chit chat at school gates what does your husband do - Dave’s a brain surgeon or whatever.

I had a colleague who always called her partner her husband because if she said "partner" people assumed her partner was a woman

[FreedomFaith]

@userxx

He's not your husband. He's a boyfriend/partner at worst, fiance at best if he's proposed.

Why is boyfriend a worst case scenario ? It might be the OP who doesn't want to marry and share her cash.

Go with minimum/maximum then. Point still remains, he is not her husband. He is her boyfriend. In the eyes of the law, he is nothing to her.

[PrincessNutella]

He's your DP and you are single.

[D1n0F0uraus]

Definitely single

[Elsalvador]

I am protected financially. I have sought legal advice and the proper arrangements are in place. It is a fully considered decision.

@MajorCarolDanvers thanks for confirming. For some forms, it has no implications (more data gathering) but good to know it has an actual implication for this form. This is why I posted to ask so thank you.

@FreedomFaith your response seems laden with judgement and I'd like to think that this isn't intentional. "Boyfriend/partner at worst" is why I usually say DH. IMO, a committed and loving partnership is of no less value than a committed and loving marriage. You've made a few assumptions in the last paragraph of your response which are incorrect. Thanks for your concern though as I do appreciate that many women might well be in this situation.

Will sign off now but I do appreciate folks taking the time to respond.

[wishmyhousetidy]

@LadyGoddiva

I know I should have said DP. Call it force of habit as it's often easier to refer to him as my husband (social conventions and all that)

Sorry but this makes you sound as if you are ashamed and embarrassed by being together but unmarried.

If you are happy with being unmarried, you'd be expected to refer to him as your partner.

It's actually lying to call him your husband.

And rather odd that you want the social status of being 'married' (and choose to call him that) yet are actually happy to be unmarried.

Does he call you his wife?

wow reading a huge amount into that😀 Lots of people on this thread seem very angry.
Op i would check with the company but when I did this with my partner I am sure we were down as single. But check to be sure. As others have said make sure you sort your wills out as you will in many cases not be seen as next of kin.

[WitchWithoutChips]

Yes, single. Co-habitation has no legal status. If you want your relationship to be legally recognised then you can enter a civil partnership or marry.

[FooKingDong]

@Dixiechickonhols

I’ve checked and it’s £161 to legally register your partnership (same as price to marry) at my council that’s everything - admin fee, notice x2, appointment slot to do legal bit and a certificate of proof.
If you want to have your partnership legally recognised and tick partner on forms it’s there as an easy cheap option. Civil Partnership.
Not being goady genuine curiosity why people in partnerships wanting to be recognised as partners wouldn’t do this.

Given that you can also do exactly this and be married (rather than civilly partnered), why not just get married? You don't have to have guests and a --ridiculous- wedding. But you are completely covered in legal terms.

Otherwise, as PP have said a gazillion times over, you are single, OP.

[FreedomFaith]

@Elsalvador

I am protected financially. I have sought legal advice and the proper arrangements are in place. It is a fully considered decision.

*@MajorCarolDanvers* thanks for confirming. For some forms, it has no implications (more data gathering) but good to know it has an actual implication for this form. This is why I posted to ask so thank you.

*@FreedomFaith* your response seems laden with judgement and I'd like to think that this isn't intentional. "Boyfriend/partner at worst" is why I usually say DH. IMO, a committed and loving partnership is of no less value than a committed and loving marriage. You've made a few assumptions in the last paragraph of your response which are incorrect. Thanks for your concern though as I do appreciate that many women might well be in this situation.

Will sign off now but I do appreciate folks taking the time to respond.

That's good that it is incorrect because trust me, most women who make threads on here do not have anything in place and are financially reliant on their partners, and are then screwed when he dies or leaves. That's why I said it, to know that you haven't made the same mistakes. Seen women before with a man for decades, have kids, he dies and insurance money goes to his parents. She gets nothing.

[JenniferWooley]

@ReviewingTheSituation

The odd thing on the form is 'separated' as until you're divorced, you're still married. I'm not sure 'separated' is a legal thing, but more than prepared to be corrected on that!

Separated is a legal thing.

I was legally separated for 5 years before I got divorced and it meant that if I won the lottery at any point after the legal date of separation my (now)ex-h wouldn't have a claim on the money as a marital asset.

If we had just not bothered and I had won the lottery at any point within the 5 years before divorce then the money would be considered a marital asset and he'd have been able to claim up to 50% of that.

He'd also have still legally been my next of kin and had I ended up on life support he'd have been allowed to make the decisions about what happened by having the legal separation stamped by the courts this revoked any rights he had in this respect.

[saraclara]

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Hmm. I told my insurance company DH died, but I haven't specifically changed my marital status to widow. Would they really use that to avoid paying?

Yes they will certainly try to avoid paying out by using any means or excuse.

No they won't. She told them he died, and they more than likely changed her status on their systems when she told them. And even if they didn't, the fact that she told them he died is enough proof.

[TatianaBis]

This can’t be the first time this has come up in 20 years. If you’ve taken legal advice surely you’re aware that legally you’re single? This has implications for inheritance tax, next of kin etc.

[Wendybyrdesmissingconscience]

He’s not your husband. You’re single.

[StevieNicksscarf]

OP - I totally get where you are coming from and to my mind the smug marrieds are enjoying the pile on!!

As someone who was cohabiting for 25 years, I find it completely offensive that he is "your boyfriend or partner at worst". Seriously???

Reading the replies on here you can just taste the disdain from those who seem to reinforce the idea that having a husband somehow makes you superior - you have won the prize, you have achieved the ultimate goal - it's so bloody regressive.

People are free to define their own relationship in their own lives. Obviously from a legal point of view this varies but many forms and policies have an option for partner or cohabiting even around nominating pension beneficiaries etc.

Love the way pps are saying "you're single" as though your long term relationship counts for nothing.