Partner of a year is spending time with kids and ex together

[Confusedmummy518]

So I’ve been with my partner just over 12 months. His ex, who he has kids with, is crazy. She’s verbally abusive towards him when he doesn’t do what she wants when she wants, she is horrible if he doesn’t answer the phone to her or the kids immediately. The separation is in no way amicable and he can’t stand her.
She finds some reason to call or text whenever he doesn’t have his kids because she knows he will be with me & causes nothing but drama. So why would he go out for dinner with her and the kids (teenagers).
They all know it’s over and they will not be getting back together and the kids can’t stand the falling out as she screams and shouts at him in front of them.
I’m really struggling to understand why any of them would want to spend time together like that.
He’s a fantastic dad, he will do anything for them at any time and says he’s doing it for the them but imo this creates more confusion. If it was an amicable situation then it would be different. I think his ex wants him back so it’s equally unfair to her if it’s giving false hope (which he assures me would be the case).
Am I being unreasonable?

I wouldn't be comfortable with this OP, and it sounds like a whole lot of drama for you to deal with.
I'd ask him if he plans to continue meet ups like this long term and if yes then I'd finish it.

@Confusedmummy518

Agree with previous posters....... Run fast, away from this relationship, as fast as you can!

I'd be getting away from that kind of drama asap.

He's going because he wants to. Only he knows why he wants to but it's not for any other reason.

Oh dear, is there any seperated men out there without so called crazy ex' s ?
Or does that version just suit you better ?

She's can't be that crazy if he's willing to spend time with her on public. Even if it is for the sake of the kids.

Why did they split up in the first place?

My DP had a difficult breakup with his ex. In the early days, he used to go out for dinner with his DS and his ex for DS’s birthdays etc. Much nicer for the children for parents to be able to spend time together if at all possible. I’d stay out of it if I were you. Further down the line, you can be more involved in everything, but currently you’re a relatively new girlfriend and your boyfriend’s relationship with the mother of his children is important

It's even worse if you've called her crazy though, especially if you don't really know the woman or their history. All you've seen is a snapshot of some bad behaviour on her part. That doesn't make her crazy!

You will always get a lot of harsh responses on threads like this as a lot of people are in this boat where they expect their ex to still play happy families with them despite him leaving them. Personally I’d bin him off and leave him too it.

He’s a fantastic dad, he will do anything for them at any time

There's your answer. If she is willing to get along and have family time the kids could benefit. Maybe he hopes they can become more amicable.

I agree with Sally.

You have a choice, keep going with the relationship which you obviously find unsatisfactory, or end it. Find yourself a childless man next time.

But is he a fantastic role model? Surely his dc should see him co parenting not being a door mat to their dm's abuse of him?

I think it's good that he is able to do that. His ex will always be part of his life and there are times ahead where they will be together: graduations, weddings, new babies, grandchildren birthdays etc and if they can be together and be civil then it will be appreciated by the children in the long run.

Are you sure she’s actually the ex?

They sound like they are still in a relationship.