To despair over DH's snoring

[sunnyfields25]

Hi all

DH and I have been together 12 years and he's been snoring for the past few of them. I think it started after our DS (now 4.5 was born). Not a massive issue until recently as we had a spare bedroom, but now we've got DD (9 months) in her own room, there's no escape!

DH will sleep on a camp bed in the living room if I ask him to but that's not a long-term solution - it's small and uncomfortable, and needs packing away each morning.

I lie awake each night trying to figure out my options and all I can come up with is:

1. Divorce
2. Move to bigger house with spare room
3. DH magically stops snoring

I really don't want to get divorced. And moving house isn't realistic as we couldn't afford a bigger house in the same area. So we'd have to uproot and move away from our support network, take DS out of his school etc. Which leaves DH stopping snoring. He acknowledges he needs to lose weight, and that is probably one of the main causes. But although he was making an effort before Christmas, the weight has crept back on again and we're back to square one.

I know DH can't control the snoring each night and so for that I'm not blaming him. But I can't help feeling an increasing sense of resentment and frustration with him and it's affecting our relationship. How can I feel affectionate towards someone who effectively tortures me every night?! I think the frustration comes from DH's lack of action in trying to tackle the problem, especially as I've been warning him for several years that this situation - where we have a second DC and lose the spare room - would be unmanagable.

I go back to work in a few months and currently I'm not safe to drive most days due to lack of sleep. I am panicking.

Sorry for the sleep-deprived ramble.

If anyone has any ideas that we may not have tried I would be eternally grateful!

I’m the snorer. My DH somehow slept through it (quite the achievement given I could wake myself up ).

I went to the doctor. I have sleep apnoea. I ‘wake up’ around 30 times an hour.

I now have a CPAP machine and sleep through. I literally haven’t done that for about 15-20 years. I was waking up and going to the loo 5 times a night.

The machine is life changing.

Get him to the doctor ASAP.

I used to snore, the sleep clinic couldn't find a problem and the mouth guards didn't work. Finally I found using a saline nose spray is brilliant. The "Squip NasaKleen Squeezie with Nasal Irrigation System/Pack of 50 Saline Sachets" is one type and Lloyds Pharmacy do one.

I have a snorer too.
A couple of options I can't see anyone else has mentioned...
• Try Snoreeze Nasal Strips - stick them on DH nose before sleeping, low effort, relatively low cost and they help noticeably
• The thing that actually worked was 'Singing for snorers'. Its a set of singing exercises specifically designed to reduce snoring starting with easy and working up. It not a quick fix, but if for example your DH travels to work in a car each day and would do the exercises while travelling it is ideal. See www.singingforsnorers.com/
• Put a double bed in one of your childrens rooms so either you or he can share with the child and escape the snoring in relative comfort. Also works well for when the child is poorly and needs someone with them or for a comfy booktime before bed!
Best of Luck!

Back to the GP he goes. I think I would be doing time for murder if my partner hadn't eventually been diagnosed with sleep apnoea, and given a CPAP machine. Took another GP in the practice to finally listen though and send him to a sleep clinic - his actual GP just kept telling him he was overweight. (Sure Jan, but how do you exercise and lose weight if you're waking yourself up every night and so shattered you're craving carbs all day for energy to live?) That CPAP machine is the best thing ever.