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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH selfishly waking me

59 replies

EffYou · 26/01/2022 03:32

By blowing his nose thunderously, right next to my sleeping self??

It was a horrible way to be woken up, quite scary actually as it's sudden loud noise when you're fast asleep. He's one of those people that blows his nose incredibly hard. I was and am quite pissed off by it. AIBU?? He said that he had to blow his nose and what did I expect him to do?

I expect you to get up and go to a bathroom! Not scare the shit out of a sleeping person because you're too warm and cosy to be polite. He also knows that once I'm awake it takes hours for me to fall back asleep, so he's merrily dreaming away now and I've been awake for two hours. Am contemplating finding a video of someone blowing their nose loudly and just playing it next to his head. See if he thinks it's just "normal household noise" right next to his ear when he's asleep. 😡😡

OP posts:

WetLookKnitwear · 26/01/2022 09:09

Surely he should be able to blow his nose quietly at night. Blowing your nose that loudly is a choice.

YANBU

buttercrinkle · 26/01/2022 09:42

I would be pissed off, I hate being abruptly woken up.

He has been inconsiderate and thoughtless.

Original poster

EffYou · 26/01/2022 10:03

@SilverHairedCat

All these people who apparently get out of bed to blow their nose?

Rubbish.

My Dad blows his nose like a foghorn, but what's his option? If he needs to blow his nose, he needs to blow it. Not everyone is a dainty, delicate nose blower.

Would you prefer him to sniff?

No, I'd prefer him to get up and go to the bathroom, not explode into noise in a silent room literally inches from my sleeping face! Imagine being woken up by someone screaming. It's that loud. The adrenaline, the panic, the confusion.... and then try falling back to sleep. At least if he got up it would half wake me and I'd be aware of the increase in sound and not terrified by it!

OP posts:

Fizzbangwallop · 26/01/2022 10:10

I can highly recommend having separate bedrooms!

BobMortimersTrout · 26/01/2022 10:12

What a twunt. I'm the loud nose blower in our relationship, but in the middle of the night I would either go to the bathroom, or do a quiet (albeit less efficient) nose blow. Selfish arse.

Iceypops · 26/01/2022 10:15

After I finally managed to get to sleep despite his sniffling and snoring last night DH accidentally elbowed me in the face when he was thrashing around. 2am with a bag of frozen peas on my face and adrenaline rushing through my body and he’s back to sleep before me- snoring again. Separate rooms (or murder) are the way forward.

billy1966 · 26/01/2022 10:32

OP,

He sounds really inconsiderate.

If it's a once off, point it out.

If its a regular habit of waking you up, it is not good behaviour at all and I would be very concerned.

Is it a once off?

Pazuzu · 26/01/2022 10:37

He blew his nose??? LTB!!!!!

MintyGreenDream · 26/01/2022 10:38

Ive got an air horn you can have if you live in s yorks

TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek · 26/01/2022 10:43

@EffYou All of you whose partners blow their noses really loudly, they are risking quite a few health issues, so they need to stop blowing so hard for their own sakes.

yorkshireteaspoonie · 26/01/2022 10:45

@Pazuzu

He blew his nose??? LTB!!!!!

😂

Bywayofanupdate · 26/01/2022 10:46

Unfortunately I can still hear my husband blow his nose if he goes to the loo. Even if he walked to the next town I'd probably be able to hear him. Yanbu.

RoyKentsChestHair · 26/01/2022 10:59

He’s an arse. I struggle to get back to sleep after being woken too. My XDP woke me up on holiday once by shouting to room service to come back later, right next to me in bed. It didn’t occur to him to get out of bed and answer the door, or indeed to allow them to open it and quietly motion that we were still using the room.

Arsehole. When I told him how annoyed I was for being woken with such a start, by him literally shouting next to me, he called me a miserable c*

It seems some people just don’t care if they scare the shit out of others in their sleep judging by some of the comments here. Glad I don’t sleep next to any of you selfish fuckers!

GrumpyDirector · 26/01/2022 11:25

@Wifflywafflywoo

Mine sneezes in his sleep. Never felt fright like it. Honestly think my soul leaves my body each time he screams his sneeze into the night.

This may be one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. 😂

Rosebel · 26/01/2022 11:42

That would annoy me. My DH has started waking up at 1am coughing (since he had Covid). I know he can't help it but 1am every bloody morning.
I love my sleep and it annoys me because I have to be up at 2:15 for work so no point in going back to sleep but feel tired all day.
When you have a cold or something be sure to lie in bed coughing, sneezing and blowing your nose and see how he likes it.
Feel free to keep poking him every time he falls asleep too.

SilverHairedCat · 26/01/2022 11:47

I'm guessing OP and others would still whine if their partners blew their noses in the bathroom as bathrooms tend to enhance noise, not mute it.

I suspect tbf poor bugger can't win.

I understand the waking in terror thing - DH has woken me from sleep when I'm snoring and it's had a similar effect, but FML, get a grip people!

comfortablyfrumpy · 26/01/2022 12:01

Have you thought about getting a new patio, OP?

Original poster

EffYou · 26/01/2022 13:01

@SilverHairedCat

I'm guessing OP and others would still whine if their partners blew their noses in the bathroom as bathrooms tend to enhance noise, not mute it.

I suspect tbf poor bugger can't win.

I understand the waking in terror thing - DH has woken me from sleep when I'm snoring and it's had a similar effect, but FML, get a grip people!

Well no, I stated quite clearly I would have been ok with him going to the bathroom. Shockingly, it's not the first time he's ever blown his nose in our relationship

Crikey, you can tell who the selfish nose blowers are

OP posts:

phishy · 26/01/2022 13:07

@DropYourSword

Well no, at that point playing a video in someone's ear is not a normal household noise, it's someone being incredibly childish and petty!

Well, yes, so is blowing your nose next to your sleeping partner.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 26/01/2022 13:10

I’d find this annoying as well. I try my best to be very quiet if I need to get up in the night or I’m coughing/sneezing/blowing my nose.

DH prefers to leap out of bed, put the landing light on and leave our door open whilst he heads to the loo and pisses like a horse. I’m surprised the neighbours aren’t disturbed.

CounsellorTroi · 26/01/2022 13:15

My DH snores. It’s not the actual snoring that bothers me, it’s the extra loud snorty snore he does just as I’m drifting off.

WheekestLink · 26/01/2022 13:27

If he does this all the time, YANBU.

If he has a cold, YABU as he likely will have had a terrible sleep anyway.

I always sleep in a different room when I'm poorly (the only bonus of being poorly I find, apart from slight weight loss).

WildfirePonie · 26/01/2022 14:29

It's bliss to have separate bedrooms. Do you have the space to do that?

newnameforthis76 · 26/01/2022 14:45

This sort of thing is just not a big deal for me. You share a bed with someone, occasionally they’re going to wake you up by accident. I don’t see how getting up out of bed, blowing his nose and then getting back into bed would be less of a disturbance than blowing his nose there and then. And I think describing it as ‘scary’ is a bit much? You were briefly startled. It’s not the end of the world, is it?

Bywayofanupdate · 26/01/2022 14:46

Silverhairedcat, clearly you don't live with someone with a foghorn for a nose

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