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Original poster

To ask for tips on taking a newborn to a wedding?

58 replies

Movingsoon21 · 25/01/2022 21:41

DH and I are expecting our first baby and have been invited to a wedding in the summer when our little one should be between 6-8 weeks old, depending on arrival date.

It's a relatively short wedding, but a late one (ceremony at 4pm, wedding breakfast at 6pm, dancing from 8pm) and it's a couple who both DH and I are close to, so we are keen to go, but whenever I've seen newborns at weddings, the parents seem to come for a 1pm ceremony, stay for the drinks/canapes afterwards and then go home either before the dinner or during it (or just the husband will stay and the mum will go home with the baby).

I'm hoping to breastfeed and the wedding is probably too far to drive back in the evening so we would stay at a hotel nearby. Has anyone taken a baby this young to a wedding and is it possible to stay for the dancing? I'm worried about the music being too loud for little one but it would be a shame to go all that way and only stay from 4-8pm, especially as I love a good boogie!

There is a possibility we could take either my parents or PIL with us and ask them to look after baby in the hotel, with me popping back to breastfeed, or maybe I could have baby with me for the ceremony and dinner and then drop them back off at the hotel with DPs/PIL? But then maybe they will just sleep through the dancing at that age?

TIA, as you can tell, I don't have much of a clue!

OP posts:
superhappymagicforest · 25/01/2022 21:43

Took my 6 week old to a wedding in the sling - he slept pretty much the entire time.

firstimemamma · 25/01/2022 21:48

Newborns tend to cluster feed (Google this if you don't know what it is) in the evenings so I don't think your evening plans are realistic plus you're going to be shattered.

I spent my newborn evenings anchored to the sofa struggling to keep my eyes open!

Good luck whatever you decide.

katienana · 25/01/2022 21:49

I took my newborn to a wedding when he was about 3 weeks old. It was an all day thing, church, reception, evening do. Think we stayed till about 9pm. We also had our 3 year old with us! I was so tired the next day! It was a 3 hr drive so we were in a hotel. The baby was fine with the noise the only tricky thing was getting a comfy place to breastfeed, I like a seat with arms so I'm not taking the full weight of the baby all the time.
I wore a dress from ASOS that was breastfeeding friendly, also an underwired maternity bra (wouldn't normally wear so early on but I wanted to feel a bit better about being post partum). I'd recommend a shawl too. The baby was fine through the ceremony and meal etc he was still at the sleepy stage. With my first we went to a wedding when he was 3 months and I think dh took me back to hotel, ordered me a pizza and went back to the wedding.

FawnFrenchieMum · 25/01/2022 21:51

I personally found this was the easiest age to take babies anywhere. They mostly eat and sleep at this age. We were always relaxed about baby joining in whatever plans we had and both mine have been fine with it.

LakeShoreD · 25/01/2022 21:51

A baby that young is highly unlikely to be in a proper routine with a strict bedtime which actually makes it easier. Both of mine would have been happy to snooze in the pram between feeds and cuddles. Leaving them with ILs in the hotel room but have to go back to breastfeeds sounds like more trouble than it’s worth tbh, feeds can be very frequent at that especially if BF. Just be flexible but I would have thought the biggest impediment to a night of dancing would be how tired you’ll be, not the baby care itself!

OfstedOffred · 25/01/2022 21:52

You might not be up for a boogie. When mine was 8 weeks I mainly wanted to go to bed at 8pm!

However at that age babies are really portable, they will sleep basically anywhere in a pram. Have you got a few friends/family going? You might find if the music is a bit loud, at any given point there'll be someone taking a few mins out - there's often a quieter area away from the dancefloor where you could park a pram and people will keep an eye on the baby?

missmarplesapprentice · 25/01/2022 21:54

Congratulations. Oh I’m really interested to hear tips for this too. We are expecting our first soon and have a family wedding planned for when they’ll be around 14weeks.

FoxtrotSkarloey · 25/01/2022 21:56

That's the ideal age for taking a baby to a wedding. You'll have enough of an idea of what you're doing to be out of the daze of the first month. The baby will mostly just feed and sleep and won't have a routine for you to have to worry about bedtimes and so on. You're right to be cautious of noise levels but hopefully the venue will have more than one room so once the dancing starts the baby isn't where it's too noisy (thinking more of delicate ears than worrying about sleep). Have a great time!

fruitbrewhaha · 25/01/2022 21:59

As above they are very portable at this age but I think the best thing is to be flexible. You may find the baby is late and with perhaps a difficult delivery or c section. You may have a baby that cries a lot. You may just be exhausted with it all. On the other hand you may feel really good and have a baby that's content to be carried about etc.

So be prepared that you may not go, are you ok for your Dh to go with out you? Be prepared to just spend a few hours there and make sure your staying at the venue or at the very nearest hotel so you can head back to bed.

I wouldn't bother with getting your parents in to help as there won't be set times to feed by then. Unless you don't breastfeed, in which case you could in theory leave baby with them and do your own thing.

Just a case of having to work it all out nearer the time.

NewBrownMouse · 25/01/2022 22:00

I found it easy as they don't have a strict bedtime by that stage, I found it harder managing my toddler. We managed to stay until about 9:30 but we could have stayed all night if we didn't have our toddler. When I took my newborn to a wedding (2 weddings in 2 months after I gave birth), she slept through the majority either on me/DH or in the pram and I just took a swaddling muslin to cover myself for a feed in case I couldn't find a quiet corner as it blocked out disco lights and people moving around. Take the pram and find somewhere discreet to store it during ceremony, sit on an end seat so you can make a speedy exit if baby is unsettled. You'll have a lovely time.

NewBrownMouse · 25/01/2022 22:04

Also if you need a feeding friendly occasion dress so you can feed on the go rather than having to find somewhere private to strip off there is a Facebook group called Can I Breastfeed In It where people post requests for ideas or examples of what they have found which can be useful as that's where I found inspiration for the dresses I've worn for weddings whilst bf

ChocolateHelps · 25/01/2022 22:07

I took my 2nd to a wedding at 14 days old in a beautiful pink ring sling. DD was easy as, breastfed and slept. I, on the other hand, was bloody knackered and went to bed at 8pm in the hotel where the wedding was held. Still glad I went but so so tired!

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 25/01/2022 22:08

I took my 7 week old to a wedding overseas and it was fine.
Asked the couple (DHs best friend) to put me at a seat where I could get the pram in so he could be in it while I ate etc.
I didn't have a sling but only because I didn't think of it and didn't need it, he was quite happy in the pram.
I danced too. He was happy being minded by some nice old ladies and I'd dance for a few songs and keep waving over, then I'd sit for a bit so I didn't look like a total lush 😁

You'll be fine. Have a lovely time.

CheeryTreeBlossom · 25/01/2022 22:12

I've taken DD1 to a wedding at a month old and DD2 to one at a few days old.
Agree that the babies being v young with no routine and sleeping all the time is actually helpful.
Both slept in the sling, fed during important ceremony/speeches bits if they were awake so they didn't disturb anyone. Asleep in the sling while I walked around for the cocktail hour.

Later on I found a nice comfy seat in a corner away from the speakers/noise to station myself with my feeding pillow. With DD1 at a month old DH would take over in parts so I could have a dance and we stayed till nearly 10pm then went to a nearby hotel for overnight before going home the next day.
With DD2 I wasn't really up to it and we had to get back home for DD1 so we left as the dancing began after 7.

It is a sweet spot if you're physically up to it. When we tried to take DD1 to a wedding at 6 months it was much harder. She wouldn't nap easily with all the excitement, got distracted feeding too. The music was so loud it upset her so I sat outside almost all of it and we decided to leave early .

How long is the drive? Don't forget you can't have them in the car seat long at that age - I think it's no more than an hour ideally, but do check. Plan for lots of breaks into your journey time!

underneaththeash · 25/01/2022 22:14

All of mine at that age were very, very whingey between 6-9pm.
Take that car, stay fir as long as you wish. They can sit in car car seat and be rocked st times.

I am not a fan of kids at weddings, but it will be fine for a bit.

modgepodge · 25/01/2022 22:25

I took my 6 week old to a wedding, it was fine, much easier than I’d expect it to be now at almost 3 😂

Thankfully there was an area with sofas and I ended up camped out there for the evening as she decided to cluster feed. We stayed til about 10pm and had a hotel nearby.

You might want to buy some baby ear defenders to protect them from the loud music. My daughter still puts hers on daily when my husband grinds coffee so we have had good use out of them!!

JLQ1020 · 25/01/2022 22:28

I've the same situation I'm expected our 1st child and based on dates will be 6 to 8 weeks old.
I'm not going to the wedding my OH is going and I've asked my mum to stay with me in case.
I've no idea how labour will be if I end up with a section or anything so I thought best not to go.

It's up to you but I wouldnt be going.

SisterBeaverhausen · 25/01/2022 22:32

We went to a wedding in December and baby was 3 weeks old. Took the pram and when she wasn't feeding she just slept. We were there from early morning (DH was a groomsmen) until lateish at night. It was great because she was so tired she slept through the night!

There was a live band too and I just made sure to sit at the back of the room so it wasn't too loud for her. No dancing for me though I was 3 weeks post c-section

DockOTheBay · 25/01/2022 22:36

They will be young enough to go along. They don't cry loudly at that age, they're not really affected by loud background noise or people they don't know, and they don't have a set routine.

We took my daughter to a wedding at 10 weeks old. We bought a stretchy wrap sling in grey to match my husband's suit and she slept in that most of the day. I have a video of her sleeping through the disco, totally oblivious.
If you can, find a dress which is suitable for breastfeeding in so you can feed her as and when. It would be much more awkward to go back and forth to a hotel all day long.

Justkeeppedaling · 25/01/2022 22:37

You're not going to feel like going to a wedding 6 weeks after giving birth!!

You'll be knackered - not having had a whole nights sleep since the baby was born. You'll have sore nipples, and likely still be bleeding. You'll always have a little bit of sick on you somewhere. You could be feeding the baby for a couple of hours non stop.....

You won't feel like having a good boogie - trust me!

Migrainesbythedozen · 25/01/2022 22:38

Please don't take the baby, decline the invite. Babies shouldn't be at weddings and the B&G and the guests should be able to enjoy the ceremony without a baby screaming. Why would you even consider taking the baby???

danishkids · 25/01/2022 22:45

I was a bridesmaid when my 3rd child was around 6 weeks Old. It went really Well. When they are that small, they Can sleep in the pram and if you breast feed it’s super convenient. My other children were 1.5 and 3. They were more work 😂 but all in all the day was stress free. I tried to feed the baby just before the wedding, although he needed a feed straight after the service. ( you can’t always plan it)

Tips,
don’t stress.
have a bottle of water on you so
You can always get some water (breast feeding makes you thirsty.)

Have a few snacks packed for you, sometimes there are long waits at weddings.

Start getting ready earlier than you think for the wedding incase the baby starts cluster feeding 👏

Also I would try to
Do Something a week or two before the wedding where you are out in the evening or somewhere unfamiliar with your baby so
You are used to being out.

Also do as much as you want, if you are exhausted excuse yourself earlier if you are loving it, enjoy the wedding.

Hope that helps congratulations on your pregnancy :)

thecatsthecats · 25/01/2022 22:51

If the baby so much as breathes heavily, take it out.

NO shushing. That is, in fact, noise.

Honestly. The threshold for taking it out should be the minutest hint of sound.

Strawberry0909 · 25/01/2022 22:52

Took DS2 at 11 weeks, he slept most the time, had a room I could pop to to feed, and plenty of offers to have a cuddle , we were there 11-9 then long drive home, DS1 aged 3 on the other hand was a nightmare!

PiesNotGuys · 25/01/2022 22:59

I went to a wedding with a ten day old - and yes me and the baby danced a bit, gently!

Most people love a baby and fall over themselves to help/have a hold. Why not?

At six weeks I took my middle baby and another young dc camping, as the only adult, getting us and everything we needed to camp on public transport.

Get a good sling that fits. Make an exit plan in case it gets too much for any of you. Take a supportive partner who doesn’t think looking after the baby is your job. Take advantage of all offers for help and enjoy people cooing over your baby. Enjoy yourself and dance! There is zero reason why not.