Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for tips on taking a newborn to a wedding?

58 replies

Movingsoon21 · 25/01/2022 21:41

DH and I are expecting our first baby and have been invited to a wedding in the summer when our little one should be between 6-8 weeks old, depending on arrival date.

It's a relatively short wedding, but a late one (ceremony at 4pm, wedding breakfast at 6pm, dancing from 8pm) and it's a couple who both DH and I are close to, so we are keen to go, but whenever I've seen newborns at weddings, the parents seem to come for a 1pm ceremony, stay for the drinks/canapes afterwards and then go home either before the dinner or during it (or just the husband will stay and the mum will go home with the baby).

I'm hoping to breastfeed and the wedding is probably too far to drive back in the evening so we would stay at a hotel nearby. Has anyone taken a baby this young to a wedding and is it possible to stay for the dancing? I'm worried about the music being too loud for little one but it would be a shame to go all that way and only stay from 4-8pm, especially as I love a good boogie!

There is a possibility we could take either my parents or PIL with us and ask them to look after baby in the hotel, with me popping back to breastfeed, or maybe I could have baby with me for the ceremony and dinner and then drop them back off at the hotel with DPs/PIL? But then maybe they will just sleep through the dancing at that age?

TIA, as you can tell, I don't have much of a clue!

OP posts:
Chickychoccyegg · 25/01/2022 22:59

My youngest was 3 months old when my best friend got married, I was a bridesmaid, it was fine, at their usual bedtime, I fed them, changed them, and took them for a walk around the grounds, and they slept for hours, didn't wake until way after the wedding had finished, it was great, I parked them in a corner of the room , not near the speakers, but certainly not quiet.
My dc have always slept with noise around, it's one-off the best things I did when they were small, not creeping around and making normal house noise.
The noise of music and people didn't waken my dd anyway.

OneJumpAhead · 25/01/2022 23:00

Don’t do it! Enjoy your baby and stay home. Plenty of weddings in life and just once chance to relax in your newborn bliss for as long as possible

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 25/01/2022 23:11

Did this when DD was 6-7 weeks old at best. I had an EMCS but was in reasonable shape (far better than after VBAC with No2.

It was overseas short haul so travelled with our fancy new pram and hired a car seat Fair to say we never tried flying with that again.

I had a plain dress with straps which easily slipped off the shoulder and used a feeding cover that looped around my neck. Babies dribble though so the dress got water marked as the day went on. They are also very pukey so a) have sore stuff and b) it's a useful way of holding people off

EVERYONE wants to hold a newborn and they will not take no for an answer. You will have to be pretty militant about Covid and your partner will need to keep their shit together. I was driving back to the hotel so DH got rat faced and declined to leave so I left him to it around 10pm and went back to our hotel. Every time I went to the loo I came back to find out DD being passed around.

Baby was pretty unsettled and I got very little sleep that night which didn't set me up well for the day 2 party. I'm glad we went though, they are very good friends and it was a lovely wedding.

Have a chat with them. Establish the latest point you can sensibly bail if the birth goes badly/overdue etc without causing offence. It might be now, it might be two weeks before the wedding when they have to finalise catering numbers.

CheeryTreeBlossom · 25/01/2022 23:11

Other thoughts

  • if bf pick a breastfeeding friendly outfit and one that is less likely to show up any milk/baby spit up! Make sure it's comfy too.
  • do practice outings beforehand so you get a sense of how you'll cope, do changes in unfamiliar places, wearing a sling etc.
  • build in lots of buffer in your getting ready and travel time in case baby wants an extra feed, needs fresh nappy etc.
  • you will be a lightweight after 9months abstinence so easy on any drinks etc. Even the champagne for the toast went straight to my head.

No idea why the negative comments, I was more than up for the dancing when DD1 was a month old. At both weddings the bride & groom were thrilled we had made the effort to come and hadn't even noticed the baby in the ceremony as she was silent. One was even a childfree wedding but an exception was made for babies and there were a few present. Babies are less effort than kids at a wedding and tbh once the alcohol flows probably less disruptive than some adults.

If the bride and groom are happy to have them there why does anyone else's thoughts on it matter?

RainbowMum11 · 25/01/2022 23:45

They are so portable at this age, it's perhaps the easiest stage as far as the baby is concerned! We went to a wedding when DD was 8 weeks old, took her pram so she could sleep, plenty of outfits in case of changes needed and ready mixed formula as well as formula to mix and me (by this point though I had had to stop breastfeeding for various reasons)

jackstini · 25/01/2022 23:49

Dd was 9 weeks old and no issues

She slept in her car seat some of the time, including through the entire set of the band. I breastfed her in church and at the reception with no issue and we nipped back to the room for nappy changes

Plenty of offers of cuddles when she was awake too

Have a lovely time

RampantIvy · 25/01/2022 23:52

All of mine at that age were very, very whingey between 6-9pm.

So was DD. She cluster fed all evening every evening at 6 weeks. I had never heard of cluster feeding (no internet then) and used to dread the evenings. There was no way I could have taken her to a wedding at that age.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 25/01/2022 23:54

@Justkeeppedaling

You're not going to feel like going to a wedding 6 weeks after giving birth!!

You'll be knackered - not having had a whole nights sleep since the baby was born. You'll have sore nipples, and likely still be bleeding. You'll always have a little bit of sick on you somewhere. You could be feeding the baby for a couple of hours non stop.....

You won't feel like having a good boogie - trust me!

So funny because plenty of us have said the opposite.

Someone just said they took their baby if a few days.

Your comment isn't helpful. She asked for tips on how to do it, not opinion if she could or not.

RampantIvy · 26/01/2022 09:11

Which goes to show that every baby is different. DD used to spend all evening clamped to my boob, sometimes until the early hours.

kirinm · 26/01/2022 10:48

When we did this, our DD couldn't sleep - bad sleeper anyway - and so we ended up leaving after the meal. It was annoying as we'd travelled quite far (to a different country) but there's not much you can do.

kirinm · 26/01/2022 10:50

@OneJumpAhead

Don’t do it! Enjoy your baby and stay home. Plenty of weddings in life and just once chance to relax in your newborn bliss for as long as possible
What is this bliss you refer to? I'm guessing your newborn didn't have colic!
DappledThings · 26/01/2022 11:29

We took DC1 at 10 weeks. It was fine. He slept in the pram at the back of the church and I stayed there so could make a quick exit if required. Was bf so didn't need to find where I could make up bottles or anything.

During the meal he was mostly asleep in a sling on me. There was a side room from the disco and a multitude of people happy to watch him while DH and I popped in and out. We stayed till midnight.

DappledThings · 26/01/2022 11:32

@OneJumpAhead

Don’t do it! Enjoy your baby and stay home. Plenty of weddings in life and just once chance to relax in your newborn bliss for as long as possible
Well that's totally subjective. I love weddings and would hate to miss one. And by week 2 of both DC's life I would have been bored staying at home so would have definitely been there.
RampantIvy · 26/01/2022 11:49

Envious of those of you who had babies that didn't cluster feed all evening.

Thevoiceofreason2021 · 26/01/2022 11:49

Good luck on whatever you decide - there is no right or wrong way of doing things. Be prepared to change your plans at the last minute though! Babies tend to throw the greatest plans into the air. Also my LO spent the first 12 weeks in a sling - she had reflux and I couldn’t lay her down in a pram or bed, so you might find yourself in similar situation. Just go with the flow and if you find you can only go for an hour, so be it. Try not to get too fixated on planning stuff. With a baby, sometimes just getting out the front door doesn’t happen.

BMIbum · 26/01/2022 11:56

Took my 4 week old to BIL wedding, he slept through most of it in his pram. We also had our 2 year old so stayed until 8p.m for start of the evening do when the attention lavished on her during the daytime from other guests dried up as people hit the drink so she was ready for bedtime Grin.

I couldn't drive as I'd had a c section so DH drove me and toddler back to our nearby cottage, stayed with us for an hour to settle toddler and set me up with snacks and drinks, then drove back to finish the night.

With just the newborn and no toddler I may have stayed later we'd have come home together.

Dancing will be dependent on your birth and recovery, I had forceps delivery and 3rd degree tear with my first so was still in massive pain sitting and walking at 6 weeks post partum. After my section I could have managed some gentle dancing, but not the ceilidh that was taking place as they get quite rowdy Wink

Depends how much sleep you are getting too, don't put pressure on yourself to have a wild night, my first born had colic and never slept so I was exhausted, our second was a dream baby and easily settled after a feed in the night. I wouldn't have wanted my DH hammered and unable to support us with our newborn so him having to stay sober to drive (rural venue so no taxis) worked well for us.

Newpuppymummy · 26/01/2022 12:01

Much easier to take a newborn than an older baby. Take a sling and a pram. Stay at venue if possible

LittleGwyneth · 26/01/2022 12:21

@Justkeeppedaling

You're not going to feel like going to a wedding 6 weeks after giving birth!!

You'll be knackered - not having had a whole nights sleep since the baby was born. You'll have sore nipples, and likely still be bleeding. You'll always have a little bit of sick on you somewhere. You could be feeding the baby for a couple of hours non stop.....

You won't feel like having a good boogie - trust me!

There are dozens of people on this thread saying that they did it and had a perfectly nice time. Just because you weren't able to doesn't mean someone else wouldn't be.
FolkloreEvermore · 26/01/2022 12:52

My baby will be 6 weeks old when we go to a wedding at the end of next month. I’ve seen a couple of negative comments about how tired you might be or how fussy baby might be, but touchwood I’m already feeling like it should be manageable and hopefully enjoyable!
We’re lucky in that my DM is also invited so we will have extra hands on deck to look after her, so we can all enjoy together. We’re staying in an apartment nearby and the B&G have got us a hotel room for the day so we can retreat there if she (or we) need some space.
The only thing I’m still deciding is whether to try and get her used to a sling beforehand so she can hang out in there, or if I’d prefer her to stay in the pram for now, as that’s what we’re comfortable with at the moment.

ISmellBurnings · 26/01/2022 12:57

I took my 4 week old to a wedding! We had the pram so I was able to put him down and we took the sling. I took a large muslin as I was a self conscious about feeding but it was fine.

DH took him back to our room in the evening and I stayed at the party!

I wasn’t bleeding too much and felt ok.

randomsabreuse · 26/01/2022 13:04

Sling should be fine, my first was really transportable at that age, slept through all kinds of things.

Top tip, if baby is going to be in a sling, do NOT wear a jumpsuit... Had to retreat from toilet, hand baby to DH then return which was annoyingBlush

gogohm · 26/01/2022 13:15

Took dd at 10 weeks, stayed to the end!

Sit at the end of a row towards the back so you can get out easily during the service if needed. Wear an outfit you can discreetly breastfeed in, eg separates and take a shawl, I fed dd in church regularly! Otherwise just enjoy yourself. Babies are very portable.

FeedMeSantiago · 26/01/2022 13:18

There was a 7 week old at our wedding. Ceremony was at 1pm and the parents left around 9pm.

The parents asked us for a private space for breastfeeding and the venue gave them access to his office to feed in.

The baby slept through the ceremony.

Another couple who had a 5 week old declined which we completely understood.

gogohm · 26/01/2022 13:19

Ps babies get lavished with attention, in my case my friends mum (Filipino) kept fussing with my DD's blonde curls, and telling me how beautiful blonde babies are, the aunties all wanted to cuddle her and breastfeeding wasn't an issue as its normal in their culture

Gazelda · 26/01/2022 13:21

We took DD to a wedding at 5 weeks old.

The only problem I had was that the reception venue was usually used as a conference centre so didn't have baby changing facilities. I'm still annoyed at myself that I changed DD on the toilet floor rather than asking reception for somewhere suitable.

One of my fave pics of newborn DD was of her snuggled up in my arms while I was looking half decent. I was wearing joggers, no bra and greasy hair falling out of a scrunchie in every other photo from that era.

Swipe left for the next trending thread