Blushing - help!

[RazzleMazzle]

AIBU for blushing as a 30-something? I have the WORST blushing problem. I’m a manager who oversees a team of a dozen, and work in a very social environment. I have no real confidence issues at all, but I have the most embarrassing blushing problem. In any team meeting, I’m brick red; in one-to-ones, I’m like a fire engine. It’s something that’s affected me most of my life. But…I’m in my early 30s and assumed I’d grow out of it by now. It affects so much of my life, and I even feel it’s inhibiting my career progression as I avoid situations and ‘stepping up’ into senior roles so as to avoid potential blushing triggers. Ive tried ‘not caring’ (doesn’t work); and I’m not going to get any medical intervention. So…does anyone have any advice/workarounds?

@CouncilHousedAndViolentBaby thanks. Ps love your handle!

Definitely use make up! As mentioned above a green moisturiser (Google this) under a good foundation will block the worst of it. You really need a bit of blusher then to avoid looking too pale. I blushed horribly when younger but make up helped so much that I stopped worrying about it enough to eventually stop blushing!

Yes the green makeup helps and the beta blockers do too. I've had this all my life and definitely feel it's held me back career wise.

@MakeItRain sounds like make-up is the solution; and mindfulness as mentioned by another poster 😃

Kind of a relief that others are going through the same! Hearing you fellow blushers! ❤️

Interesting. I used to be like this about your age and really worried about it as I felt it affected my career, for instance every time I spoke in a meeting I blushed which would put me off saying my piece. At some point I just stopped caring what other people thought about it and then it stopped! I don't know exactly what prompted it but I think it's just getting older and caring less what people think (which does happen!) Realistically people notice these things FAR less than you think and care about it even less - they're too focused on how they look and come across.

Happens to me too! I just make out I'm hot and take off a layer to prove the point 🤣 definitely going to try to outsmart it by thinking "go red!"

@timeforteaforyouandme thank you!

I do this too and I hate it. I get redder and redder as once I feel it coming I just feel like I'm about to self combust

Why does that happen? I thought blushing was a result of embarrassment and those situations don’t sound embarrassing? Is it an involuntary rather than reflex?

@thedarkling thank you; I always assumed at 32 I’d be at the ‘not caring’ stage; turns out - by my big red face - that I do. Haha! I think the problem is by REALLY trying not to care, I just do!

@TheBeautifulMoors I think that’s what I’m trying to discover. Probs self-awareness; probs situational perpetuation; probs genetics! Who knows?! As I said, in a previous response, in obviously embarrassing sitches, I actually don’t blush. Weird!

@WhoAre lol to ‘boiled lobster chic’! Another great workaround learned here is: own it; mention it! Thank you 😊

I'm a blusher as well, it drives me mad! Now I'm working from home, I can set up my lighting just right to mitigate the lobster factor as much as I can, but it's not always possible!

I think it is partially a genetics thing, as my sister blushes too.

@RazzleMazzle oh gosh op I’m exactly the same (and im 31). It really contributes to my social anxiety and then that becomes a really negative cycle.

I did get CBT for social anxiety and it was one of the things I spent a long time working on. Nothing has changed because I can’t stop it, but I feel a bit more a peace with it and I’m happy to own it.

From a practical perspective I’m very pale and I never wear make up. But if I have a job interview or something super social I will wear a good foundation which covers most of it. And then I just wear something that covers my neck/chest/arms. You can find really cute high necked dresses/pussy bow blouses or I find a turtleneck paired with a short skirt works well. Bold prints. You can find outfits that look really cute but cover you up on top without it being obvious that is what you are doing.

@SamMil I actually LOVED WFH as I could control my blushing much more. The computer screen acted as a barrier! Failing that…I could feign ‘technical issues’ and turn off my camera (oh dear!)

Its an adrenalin response, propranolol should help.

@Ohsugarhoneyicetea interesting! But why would I have an adrenalin (flight or fright?) response in a one-to-one situation with a colleague? Would like to understand the science…

Yep, I'm 46 and have this and I definitely feel it has held me back in my career. There was something that triggered it as I didn't have it at school and was quite happy to get up in front of people. I think I get it when the focus is on me and I don't feel in control. It's got better as I've got older though. Not just a blushing thing - I get it when I'm hot, when i have a drink, when I'm under pressure to get something finished. And the more you are aware of it the worse it gets!

@WhoAre haha - there’s def no getting away from it!

Dunno what it's called, but you can get something on prescription from GP for severe blushing and redness, thick make up type stuff

@FizzyTango thank you for your perspective and advice! And so glad to hear you have a bit of peace of mind. Hope your progress continues 💐

@shedevill ah, interesting - thanks!