I’d been a MN user for a while but deleted my account after the fuckers at the Daily Mail printed a post of mine which was very outing. I’ve therefore stayed away but I just need someone to rant to / tell me I’m right angry / tell me I’m being unreasonable if indeed I am, which I might be, so I’m back.
We have a 10 month old. A few months ago he was seriously unwell with bronchiolitis and had to be admitted into hospital for it. The day he got ill he got gradually worse until we finally called 111, but DH kept telling me DS is fine, just a bad cold, and so I kept dismissing my concerns as first time mother paranoia. To this day DH thinks DS wasn’t seriously ill and it was an over invested nurse that led to DS being put on oxygen and fed through a tube (the paediatric nurse that night was amazing and was so concerned about DS that she kept getting the doctors to come and check on him). He also thinks DS was fed through a tube because he wasn’t eating much, even though I’ve explained a few times it was part of the treatment (save his energy for breathing and avoid over filling his stomach).
Now, DS has a cold. Two nights ago his chest was retracting again and we agreed we shouldn’t take him to the hospital. I knew we should because it’s a red flag, but because he wasn’t as ill as last time, I thought we just need to keep a close eye on him. I understand now that was the wrong approach but my bar for medical attention was really high after he became so seriously unwell. DH was of the same view, partly because DS was eating and drinking, and was very much on the side of hospital shouldn’t even be a consideration.
I tried to get hold of the GP yesterday and she called me late last night to tell me to take him to A&E or call 111. We called 111 and they sent out an ambulance because of his retractions (did tell them we can drive him but they strongly insisted). Got taken to hospital and DH kept moaning we shouldn’t be there, it’s a waste of ambulance time, etc etc. In the end, the chest retractions eased, his obs were fine and at 2am it was going to be another 5 hours at least before we could see a doctor so we decided to go home and see the GP in the morning instead. Tbh I would have waited it out if I was on my own but DH constantly complaining made me more and more impatient with the wait.
We saw the GP today without DH. She prescribed an inhaler and gave me very strict and clear instructions on how it was to be use (several puffs every 4 hours, back to hospital if the retractions haven’t eased). We gave it to DS at home, and then DH read the pamphlet with the inhaler which showed we were giving much more than the maximum daily dosage. DH was therefore convinced I must be wrong, I must have misheard the doctor. We can’t give anymore today as what I said can’t be right. Am I sure? How sure am I? What exactly did the doctor say?
That for me was when I finally got annoyed. I asked if I should call the GP and he said I should, which I happily tried to show him he’s wrong but they were closed. I told him simple google of what DS has shows that several puffs of an inhaler every few hours is indeed the treatment. DH saw I was annoyed and made a point that if he thinks something isn’t right he will challenge it, especially if it concerns DS.
I got really upset and told him to stop doubting me, how dare he think I would poison my child and take risks with his health, and stop questioning and doubting everything I say. I also said that if he’s going to happily challenge me then I’m going to stop taking his lead on any medical concerns for DS and do what I think is right.
There’s now that awkward silence between us.
Was I reasonable or unreasonable to get so annoyed at DH over this? Do I need to be more understanding in DH’s position or does he need to have more faith in me?
Sorry for the essay.