I'm an adult who stims. Is that typical?

[Tryingom]

Posting for traffic really. I have a question I've never asked anyone but I'm curious about.

I'm an adult who frequently stims. Things like clicking fingers, flicking wrists and rocking back and forth on my chair. I do this mainly when I'm excited or feel like I've achieved something. Music is also a big trigger for me and I can daydream quite deeply listening to music. I can control it though, .i.e. sat working from home on my own at my desk I will stim after I competing a task. But sat in the office around people the same situation though I would never stim. I remember hiding it from my parents when I was younger, deliberately not doing it round them. I'm not sure anyone has ever really witnessed me stim but it's something I do when I'm alone.

I know stimming can be an autistic trait but wonder if it's fairly normal to stim regardless? I've never been diagnosed with anything or even been assessed for anything. I wouldn't say I find social situations difficult or find it difficult to read people's emotions - I would probably say the opposite that I'm a great judge of character and figuring out what people really mean when they say things, but I do have a history of panic attacks and anxiety. The only time I've heard about stims is in the context of autism. It makes me wonder if I'm on the spectrum to some extent? That may be a completely ignorant thing to say and I'm sorry if it is. I've just never really heard of it outside the context of autism.

I hide the stim because I find it embarrassing and don't want people to see it, but I'm wondering if it's more common than I think?

@Tellthemagain

I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD at 36 and have been paying extra attention to everyone I work with to see if they stim/fidget anything or if it is indeed just me.. but from watching closely through many meetings, it does seem to be pretty much just me! I find it odd that people can literally just sit there, still, for AGES . I'd personally bet that you aren't as NT as you think.

Thanks for all the interesting replies.

I've not noticed anyone in particular stimming either @Tellthemagain which is why I thought maybe I'm the only one who does this.

There are a number of people who seem to be referring to leg shaking, tapping etc which I also do but for some reason didn't class this in the same category as stimming. Flicking my wrists back and forth, clicking and rocking back an forth in a chair for some reason I viewed differently. It may just be that they're all stims but the latter are less common/"accepted" in people than leg shaking etc?

My son stims! He has since he was 3 and he's 10 now. I used to worry, but don't now. He's v neurotypical, but has loads of.energy and always has! He swims in a club everyday and his stimming is always better when he swims
If he misses a swim the stims worsen. I just feel he's a kid that needs to move!! He does proper big hand flaps and bouncing in his seat and he used to do big facial movements. Just like you, it's normally when really happy/excited about something, or when he's day dreaming. He's a big day dreamer.

I used to worry how things will b for him at secondary school and as an adult - so it's good to know you are managing to control your stims, as I guess my son will too in time.

Apparently, it can run in families. I definitely don't do as much stimming as my son, and have never hand flapped,.grimmaced etc.. in the way my son does. But I have always had a few random things I do, like clap hands when excited! Tap foot when ill or anxious, and I used to suck my thumb as a child, which apparently is also related to.stimming ..

This is an interesting thread! I jump which can be a stim - not acceptable in a work place lol.
I do it when I get home and in recent years it has become more ‘acceptable’ by morphing into exercise or dancing. Like OP I do it if I’m excited or particularly pleased about something and also used to do it to concentrate on a thought process. If I’ve had an idea I very often stand up immediately to be able to think about it properly which at work means I then have to find something to go and do 😂

I’m nowhere near the threshold for an autism diagnosis but I do have some repetitive behaviours. Interesting to consider the difference between fidgeting and stimming!

Oh callingon! You've made me think now!! I do also jump a lot when excited! I hadn't even realised/thought about it til just now with your post!!!! But thinking about it, me and my son were both jumping round the kitchen earlier!!!! I'm much more like him (and much odder to the outside world if they new my habbits!!) than I realised.!!! :) What a pair we'd look if there was a fly in the wall!! My husband is v tolerant!!!

I do a few behaviours that I would describe as stims. I open my mouth and turn my neck and sort of stretch my face and upper body, I sometime do it in response to seeing certain textures. I sometimes flap and I’m very touchy and fidgety.
I’m dyslexic and ADHD but not ASC (I know I because I do ADOS assessments for a living)

I used to flap a lot as a child when I was happy or excited. I was teased/bullied about it at school so tried to stop. I will still 'indulge' in a flap when I am alone. It is usually when I am daydreaming/thinking happy thoughts/recalling good memories so not really a coping mechanism. I taught myself to hold my hands when the urge comes on and now wouldn't do it in public/in front of anyone else.

My 2 year old DD was flapping in excitement earlier and looked so happy. It made me sad to think that I felt that there was something wrong with me that needed to change. I don't think that I am autistic.

Ds is autistic and grown. When he was younger I used to go to cafes/public places and look stimming because I had the same question. My observation is it’s very very common. Self soothing is a human trait not an exclusively autistic one.

DS1 has an ASD diagnosis. He'll normally have some habit, currently pulling eyelashes, previously chewing hair and before that clothes. He does have sensory processing disorder mixed in. He'll run laps up and down the room when he's excited. When we watched His Dark Materials, I'd watch with him then watch again solo without the leaping, sprinting child.

DS2 has always quivered with excitement since he was a baby. Lots of baby photos were blurred because he was always happy and quivering! He'll still do it when he's engrossed in computer games. I don't think he's on the autism spectrum and if he's ND, I'd guess on AHDH (inattentive?)

I can't be still. My ankles are currently twirling. At school I'd tap my fingers or doodle to help with focus. When I taught, I'd pace around. If I'm standing on the spot, I sway. I also often click my hips. My only diagnosis is to do with auditory processing, but for a variety of reasons, I wonder about ADHD and/ or dyspraxia.
I knew I felt lousy after my first vaccine when I laid still in bed. That evening I began to feel slightly better and my ankles started turning again.

This is a very interesting read. However the verb “stim” and the participle “stimming” sound awful to me, like masturbation or something.

I’ve never heard of this! Not sure it’s that common.

Is masturbation “awful”? Surely there isn’t anything sinful in stimming or masturbating?

Does dancing without music count as stimming? I do that.

As a child, I used to rock back and forth on the sofa or the side of the bed humming a jolly tune. My siblings used to gently rib me about it. I did this with some regularity. Looking back it was quite ‘unusual’ behaviour but I enjoyed it and found it v hard not to do it.

I don’t rock anymore (!) but I do tap my leg a lot and find it hard to sit still. I hate going to the cinema or the theatre as sitting still for a long time isn’t comfortable.

I find social situations hard sometimes and am an introvert but hide it well, I’m v good at being ‘normal’ even though I don’t feel it inside. I v much think I’m on the spectrum.

My father did, my husband does. Both probably undiagnosed autism from their other traits.

Never been diagnosed, although suspect I'm "further along the spectrum" than some.

Do you mean you think you are autistic? There is not a spectrum where we place people in order from not autistic to very autistic.

Sensory processing differences can be an aspect of autism but can also be part of a person just as that, without it being disabling or without it being as a group of traits that would see the person classed as autistic. So it's entirely possible your sensory processing preferences are just wired this way without you being autistic.
I think it sounds a little unusual but not startlingly so, not so very different to other more common things like the leg jiggling etc pp mention.

I'm an female adult stimmer. I didn't realise how much I do it until I had to wear more PPE at work during covid. I don't keep my hands still ever and plastic aprons are very rustly! I keep something in my hand/pocket to fidget with most of the time, at the moment it's a jumbo safety pin. No idea why, I just like the smooth feel of the metal. I also pick at my hair and scratch my head. Less of a scratch and more of a little rub with my finger tips. I can do it for hours. I've done that since I was a child. It was just what I do when watching tv. Watch tv and rub my scalp. It's really annoying actually as it makes my hair greasy faster. I was diagnosed with ASD in my 30's.

I misread your OP and thought you meant you played SIMS, the computer game! I've never heard the term stimming and had to google that its a form of a tic.

No, I don't stim, not in the way you do at all. I used to bite my nails as a child, so I don't know where on any spectrum that would be?

Have you considered speaking to your GP or investigating it further?

I have ADHD, likely also autistic and I stim. Amongst other things I rock and tap my fingers on my lips. I sometimes wear stim jewellery and at work I tend to gravitate to the Swiss ball chairs or the wobble stools.

DS (late teens) flaps and bounces, DD (mid teens) draws on herself and rocks.

Hah I massively stim, and teach many students adult and young who also do. I'm triggered by humour. They are triggered by music. It's all part of our world...enjoy!

@Hairyfriend

I misread your OP and thought you meant you played SIMS, the computer game! I've never heard the term stimming and had to google that its a form of a tic.

No, I don't stim, not in the way you do at all. I used to bite my nails as a child, so I don't know where on any spectrum that would be?

Have you considered speaking to your GP or investigating it further?

Stimming is not the same as a tic. A tic is an involuntary movement. Stimming is voluntary 'stimulation' associated with sensory processing and comfort, usually if the person is feeling overstimulated.

I'll ignore your ignorant comment about spectrums and biting your nails.

DP stims like a mother fucker. Jiggles his legs so hard while working I worry he might cause a tsunami

You could be a neurotypical sensory seeker.

However it's becoming more widely known that more middle aged women are getting more autism diagnosises in recent years. Because being girls , it is often missed in childhood due to the misconception that it is more common in boys, and also because it presents differently in girls. And because of patriarchy, girls are more likley to hide traits/ conform to expectations of neurotypicals. Just something I find quite interesting

The daydreaming to music sounds like it could be maladaptive daydreaming?

Apart from fairly standard pacing, swaying, humming, I also move my feet in bed when I'm tired- just gently rub them against the sheet. I always have, even as a child. I assume self soothing