What do people think of this: number where someone will talk you home from a night out…

[AlternativePerspective]

‘Hi, thanks for calling. Are you OK? How far away are you?’ www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-60055916

Saw this on the bbc yesterday and not sure what to think.

Would you call it?

Absolutely not, I like to be aware of my surroundings when walking alone at night, plus surely having your phone in your hand makes it more tempting for someone to snatch it if they felt that way inclined?

I would think that talking on a phone would make you less likely to be the target of an attack because whoever is on the other end knows where you are and that something has happened to you if someone jumps you.

I don't really understand the argument that it's better to be aware of your surroundings, what are you going to do? If someone wants to attack you then the chances are they're bigger, stronger and faster. Being aware seems of little use to me - someone could be acting perfectly normally until the last minute anyway.

@NutellaEllaElla I agree wholeheartedly with what you're saying, but unfortunately the powers that be won't fund extra police and lighting etc to keep anyone safe, much less women.
Who it seems, are much further down the funding agenda than other more important things, such as, I dunno, a piece of art for the mayor's office or something.
Which pisses me off immensely.

It reminds me of the rape whistle. And the chocolate teapot. I see it is well intentioned.

@Cyderdelic My daughter used to put me on speaker phone in her pocket.
I seemed to spend a lot of time in her pocket talking to the lining. I used to have some marvellous conversations with the loose change, old bus tickets and bits of fluff.

[quote Norgie]@Cyderdelic My daughter used to put me on speaker phone in her pocket.
I seemed to spend a lot of time in her pocket talking to the lining. I used to have some marvellous conversations with the loose change, old bus tickets and bits of fluff.[/quote]

Nope, I generally like to stay focused and alert on my walk when I’m alone in the dark. I don’t listen to music then either. I’m often coming back late from work and I don’t live in one of the safest areas (south London)

It would make me feel LESS safe to be on the phone.

Love the idea (of course it's terrible that it's needed!) but I hope it'd be available for both men and women!

DD is a student, and she often rings me when walking back to her flat (during the day). She isn't usually on her own at night.

Could we not have a phone line where men who think they might be about to attack women ring up and get advised not to attack women.

That sounds light hearted but I'm not. Again and again women have to change their behaviour and take precautions.

I'm not adverse to the phone line just to the fact we need it.

It's not my job to get apps, make calls, and perform labour to "avoid" being assaulted or killed in public.

My responsibilities for preventing violence and harassment begins and ends with not committing acts of violence and harassment. It's the same for everyone.

Telling women that they need to work for their safety makes our culture worse, not better.

@CurbsideProphet

Perhaps men could call a helpline when they feel the desire to rape / murder a random woman 🤔

I understand it's well meaning, but I wouldn't use it.

This.

I'm with the poster who would be concerned who is listening both on the lime and anyone following me, where I am, my name, how far away from home I am ( in other words how long s/he has to kill me befire I get home).

I also wouldn't be holding up a phone as I walked. That's in a pocket in.my.back pack I put up my hood to hide my head phones, talking would advertise the fact that I had a phone and headphones to nick.

Honestly I wouldn't wanna put these volunteers who ,however misguided some aspects of the idea are, clearly care about the callers , in the position of hearing me attached and powerless to do anything about it. Who do three poor buggers phone when they are scared and traumatised after a heavy call.

Again why is it on me to call amd men not to stalk me?.

@NutellaEllaElla

It doesn't make us any safer of course. It might make us more vulnerable to being mugged. What's it for? To locate a body? God.

^ I agree with this. In what way does it help? If someone wants to attack you, they’re just going to knock you over and carry on.

Surely it will make women LESS safe? As I understand it the advice is NOT to walk along talking on your phone because you will be less aware of your surroundings

This. I always understood being on your phone made you more of a target, more likely to be distracted, not hear someone come up behind, plus it makes your phone easier to grab and steal.

Well meaning, but what can these people do? You’ll be mugged or assaulted before the police get there, and being on the phone won’t help identify any criminal.

Norgie we had that at my university in the 80s.

@NutellaEllaElla

It doesn't make us any safer of course. It might make us more vulnerable to being mugged. What's it for? To locate a body? God.

This ^^

And

Sticking plaster over the problem of women’s safety

Absolutely this. A cheap PR stunt. Aside from being pretty useless except for as Nutella says making somebody a potential mugging target, the vast majority of women attacked and/or murdered are attacked or murdered at home - and/or by somebody they know.

But it costs money they're perhaps unwilling to spend, to take measures that would genuinely help to improve women's safety.

@InPraiseOfBacchus

It's not my job to get apps, make calls, and perform labour to "avoid" being assaulted or killed in public.

My responsibilities for preventing violence and harassment begins and ends with not committing acts of violence and harassment. It's the same for everyone.

Telling women that they need to work for their safety makes our culture worse, not better.

Agree

Exactly this.

It makes me furious. Yet more paternalistic measures to ‘protect all women’ and nothing done to restrict the ones who are out there stalking, raping, murdering and attacking us and making us feel unsafe

This ^^

And, also I am utterly fed up with the constant emphasis on women's vulnerability. Poor, tiny defenceless ladies who are unsafe going anywhere by themselves, especially AT NIGHT (shudder). I cannot bear the fact that women restrict their movements and really believe they cannot go anywhere alone. The fear is out of proportion to the risk.

The problem is not female vulnerability. The problem is male violence. Men are at risk walking alone at night as well. In fact I think statistically they have a higher risk. The real risk for women is from their male partners. At home. Not an attack by a stranger in the street.

The problem is not female vulnerability. It's male violence

Norgie
@NutellaEllaElla I understand what you're saying, but what is your practical answer then?
If it makes a lone female feel a little safer, then what's your problem with it?
Well increased policing for a start, street lighting, CCTV. I'm no expert but there's 3.

What's the good of feeling safer if you are not?
It might increase women's risk by making them less aware of their surroundings and highlighting their valuable mobile phones.
I don't know if this is better than nothing.

I meant to quote Nutellaella. Totally agree

Surely safer to NOT be carrying/focussed on a phone? Stay alert and aware of what's around . Head up, walk confidently.

Childlike dependence/anxiety in adults is a victim mindset, one that abusers look for and cultivate. We see that relationship and the results all the time in MN. It makes women more vulnerable, not safer.

This is a very bad idea for all the reasons stated.

Male violence against women happens because it is tolerated and there are no consequences for it from the start.

It would be nicer if men would just stop raping and murdering women. But we’ll done to the ladies who set this up with great intentions.

As much as it would be marvellous to be able to tackle the root of the problem (rapists), it's not a quick or easy solution. The rapists are still out there every evening when however many women are walking home.

It's impossible to say what the best thing to do is for any given woman, so deciding for herself what she is comfortable with seams the only way to go. On that basis, having this available as part of any woman's personal choice seems like a good thing, so long as it isn't sold as a) essential and therefore your fault if you didn't use it, or b) something that is actually going to prevent anything horrible from happening to you.

It won't prevent rapes, but probably nothing will - there will always be a bunch of men who for whatever reason are hellbent on doing heinous things.

I can't decide if I'd use it but I'd save the number in my phone so I had it available if I ever felt like I wanted to.