Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I go, or not....

48 replies

ConcernedAuntie · 24/01/2022 10:15

Just to start, I have never had a negative lateral flow test since I started testing in August. As we are retired I have only test when meeting family/friends indoors. Follow up PCRs always negative.

My AIBU.

It’s DHs birthday tomorrow and many weeks ago we arranged to meet 2 friends for a meal in a local pub. They are vulnerable in that 1 has Parkinsons and the other underwent chemo last year, thankfully successful, and they have now had all their jabs and booster, but still told to be cautious. (This is what happens when you get to our age).

In anticipation of this outing the only places I have been in the last two weeks are out riding twice, where I am well away from my friend and I collected two click and collect Tesco shops. DH has been as far as his workshop where he is rebuilding his motorbike.

This morning I have done another LFT and it’s positive, again. I can’t get a PCR as I don’t have any symptoms and in any case the results would likely not be back in time.

DH thinks we can still go because a) I always test positive and b) we have had hardly any contact with the outside world for the last 2 weeks. I don’t think I should go because of our friends’ vulnerability. Words have been had this morning. I am quite happy for him to go, although desperate for a night out myself, but he won’t go without me. A few years ago a much loved family member caught flu from me which led to their decline and eventual death so I know I am overly cautious.

So,

IABU – The chances of me being infectious are minimal
IANBU- It is not worth risking the health of vulnerable friends

OP posts:
Eloraa · 24/01/2022 10:17

I’d let your friends know the situation and see what they say.

SniffMyFeet · 24/01/2022 10:20

I wouldn't go. I wouldn't enjoy it knowing I could put them at risk.

LemonTT · 24/01/2022 10:23

There’s plenty of PCR capacity now. Just use it as it is meant to be used. To safeguard others.

User310 · 24/01/2022 10:26

The pcrs are takinging less than 24 hours at the moment. If you go within the next few hours you could get one and have it back in time.

DickMabutt73962 · 24/01/2022 10:28

Have you had covid before? I think science would be really interested in you

girlmom21 · 24/01/2022 10:28

Even if you had covid you've done your isolation period.

I'd explain to your friend and let them decide whether they're comfortable but I don't think there's any real risk.

DisappearingGirl · 24/01/2022 10:42

Wow that's so interesting! I wonder why you are testing positive long term.

Daft question but I assume you're interpreting the LFT correctly - you have two lines?

In terms of what you should do, I would explain the situation to your friends and say you're happy for them to decide. If I had cancer or Parkinson's I wouldn't generally want contact with someone with a positive LFT, but in your situation, I think I'd be fine with it - but probably happier if you had a negative PCR. Can you book in quick for a PCR? You'll likely have the results back by tomorrow evening.

cheekychaplin · 24/01/2022 10:44

Are they flowflex tests?

BornIn78 · 24/01/2022 10:47

Are you logging these positive tests on the government website?

I’m surprised nobody has been in touch to ask you to take part in some kind of study if you’ve been testing positive for covid on lateral flow tests since August.

And no, I wouldn’t go.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 24/01/2022 10:52

@User310

The pcrs are takinging less than 24 hours at the moment. If you go within the next few hours you could get one and have it back in time.
Hmm, I've been waiting for results since Thursday so not strictly true!
Looubylou · 24/01/2022 10:53

Go for PCR - you won't enjoy the night otherwise. Tell your friends.

Original poster
ConcernedAuntie · 24/01/2022 11:15

@DickMabutt73962

Have you had covid before? I think science would be really interested in you
Nope. Nobody interested.

I have written to -

NHS England - said it was nothing to do with them.

Test and Trace - responded with a standard letter that had nothing to do with what I had written to them about.

GP - written twice - no response.

OP posts:
Original poster
ConcernedAuntie · 24/01/2022 11:16

@LemonTT

There’s plenty of PCR capacity now. Just use it as it is meant to be used. To safeguard others.
Earliest appointment 7.00 pm 20 miles away. Easier to just no go out.
OP posts:
Original poster
ConcernedAuntie · 24/01/2022 11:17

@BornIn78

Are you logging these positive tests on the government website?

I’m surprised nobody has been in touch to ask you to take part in some kind of study if you’ve been testing positive for covid on lateral flow tests since August.

And no, I wouldn’t go.

Yes, all tests logged.
OP posts:
Original poster
ConcernedAuntie · 24/01/2022 11:18

@DisappearingGirl

Wow that's so interesting! I wonder why you are testing positive long term.

Daft question but I assume you're interpreting the LFT correctly - you have two lines?

In terms of what you should do, I would explain the situation to your friends and say you're happy for them to decide. If I had cancer or Parkinson's I wouldn't generally want contact with someone with a positive LFT, but in your situation, I think I'd be fine with it - but probably happier if you had a negative PCR. Can you book in quick for a PCR? You'll likely have the results back by tomorrow evening.

Yep, leaflet open in front of me every time. Always two lines.
OP posts:
OneSolitaryCornflake · 24/01/2022 11:19

I wouldn't bother doing another lft ever again then tbh. They don't work for you

Original poster
ConcernedAuntie · 24/01/2022 11:19

Decision made. Table cancelled.

I'm in tears, again, DH has stomped off up to his workshop.

OP posts:
Whatwhywhenwhere · 24/01/2022 11:25

Don’t go. There will be other times.

WhyAndWonder · 24/01/2022 11:30

It’s DHs birthday tomorrow and many weeks ago we arranged to meet 2 friends for a meal in a local pub. They are vulnerable in that 1 has Parkinsons and the other underwent chemo last year, thankfully successful, and they have now had all their jabs and booster, but still told to be cautious. (This is what happens when you get to our age).

If they are vulnerable, it's not a good idea fro them to meet at a pub. The idea is flawed to begin with.

TyrannosaurusRegina · 24/01/2022 11:33

@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea I'd get in touch with them, perhaps it's been lost? I wouldn't fancy isolating all that time for nothing (if you do still need to isolate in England while awaiting the results of a PCR?).

CircleofWillis · 24/01/2022 11:34

If I were you I would stop doing lateral flows and just do PCRs when necessary in good time.

If you do a PCR asap you could have a delayed meal out for your husband's birthday

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 24/01/2022 11:35

[quote TyrannosaurusRegina]@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea I'd get in touch with them, perhaps it's been lost? I wouldn't fancy isolating all that time for nothing (if you do still need to isolate in England while awaiting the results of a PCR?).[/quote]
You have to wait 5 days before you can call them to query it and I'm on day 4 :(

gobbledygoook · 24/01/2022 11:35

I wouldn't bother to do LFT in your situation if they're clearly not working.

Is this a big box of lateral flows, or is it multiple boxes from different batches? Do you completely follow the instructions?

INeedNewShoes · 24/01/2022 11:47

I always get a very faint line on the Flowflex tests. They’re basically useless for a minority it seems - there have been threads on here with quite a few MNetters having the same issue.

OP, do you test positive on all LFTs or just the newer nasal only tests?

I keep a box of the original LFTs for this sort of situation where I need to know as I’ve only ever tested negative on the throat +nose tests.

Flowflex are next to useless for those of us that always get a line.

girlmom21 · 24/01/2022 11:55

Why don't you ask if they want to come to you instead - explain the situation and let them decide?