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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do I go, or not....

48 replies

ConcernedAuntie · 24/01/2022 10:15

Just to start, I have never had a negative lateral flow test since I started testing in August. As we are retired I have only test when meeting family/friends indoors. Follow up PCRs always negative.

My AIBU.

It’s DHs birthday tomorrow and many weeks ago we arranged to meet 2 friends for a meal in a local pub. They are vulnerable in that 1 has Parkinsons and the other underwent chemo last year, thankfully successful, and they have now had all their jabs and booster, but still told to be cautious. (This is what happens when you get to our age).

In anticipation of this outing the only places I have been in the last two weeks are out riding twice, where I am well away from my friend and I collected two click and collect Tesco shops. DH has been as far as his workshop where he is rebuilding his motorbike.

This morning I have done another LFT and it’s positive, again. I can’t get a PCR as I don’t have any symptoms and in any case the results would likely not be back in time.

DH thinks we can still go because a) I always test positive and b) we have had hardly any contact with the outside world for the last 2 weeks. I don’t think I should go because of our friends’ vulnerability. Words have been had this morning. I am quite happy for him to go, although desperate for a night out myself, but he won’t go without me. A few years ago a much loved family member caught flu from me which led to their decline and eventual death so I know I am overly cautious.

So,

IABU – The chances of me being infectious are minimal
IANBU- It is not worth risking the health of vulnerable friends

OP posts:

DickMabutt73962 · 24/01/2022 14:04

@DisappearingGirl

Wow that's so interesting! I wonder why you are testing positive long term.

Daft question but I assume you're interpreting the LFT correctly - you have two lines?

In terms of what you should do, I would explain the situation to your friends and say you're happy for them to decide. If I had cancer or Parkinson's I wouldn't generally want contact with someone with a positive LFT, but in your situation, I think I'd be fine with it - but probably happier if you had a negative PCR. Can you book in quick for a PCR? You'll likely have the results back by tomorrow evening.

I see the OP has already answered the question re reading the test correctly, but I was astounded the other day to see a recent post in a fb group from someone saying they didn't realise the 'C' didn't mean covid. It seems there are people out there that still for understand how to read the tests

girlmom21 · 24/01/2022 14:07

but I was astounded the other day to see a recent post in a fb group from someone saying they didn't realise the 'C' didn't mean covid.

Do you mean the C on the LFT's? It doesn't mean Covid. It means control...

SmolCat · 24/01/2022 14:30

@ConcernedAuntie

Decision made. Table cancelled.

I'm in tears, again, DH has stomped off up to his workshop.

Was this the choice of the other couple or you? It’s their decision to make really.

maddy68 · 24/01/2022 14:34

No you can't go if you test positive ...

FinallyHere · 24/01/2022 15:31

Are you signed up to the zoe covid study?

https://covid.joinzoe.com/data

I'm thinking they would be very interested.

Although you can usually only get a PCR with symptoms, there is another box to box which is requested as part of a trial.

They are a worthwhile cause to provide your data to regardless. I'm willing to bet they will pick up immediately.

They sent me off for a PCR the only time I reported anything other than I am feeling well. Your symptoms sound so much more interesting.

OneSolitaryCornflake · 24/01/2022 15:38

I was astounded the other day to see a recent post in a fb group from someone saying they didn't realise the 'C' didn't mean covid if its the same ones I'm doing it doesn't.. it means Control and the T means Test.

DickMabutt73962 · 24/01/2022 16:13

@girlmom21

but I was astounded the other day to see a recent post in a fb group from someone saying they didn't realise the 'C' didn't mean covid.

Do you mean the C on the LFT's? It doesn't mean Covid. It means control...

Yes I know, as I stated 'C doesn't mean covid'. The person commenting thought that the line next to C meant that they had it

Cuck00soup · 24/01/2022 16:20

If you had had covid though you would only isolate for 10 days though even with a positive PCR.

Therefore, unless you had new symptoms, I would assume you are fine.

Out of interest, are you perhaps taking medication or doing your test straight after breakfast and the reagent is reacting to the citrus fruit or your medication?

girlmom21 · 24/01/2022 16:21

Sorry @DickMabutt73962 I misread

Topbird29 · 24/01/2022 16:23

Could you meet up in an outside space (maybe for lunch instead), or would that be too cold? Inside a pub would probably not be the best place for them anyway due to their health. Could you get a pcr to check, and delay meeting until result is back? I know its not meant for no symptoms, but if lft not reliable for you, then that is the only way to be sure (and keep friends as safe as possible). Your dh is just frustrated and taking it out on you - hopefully he will see that you are just trying to protect his friend's health.

Original poster

ConcernedAuntie · 24/01/2022 16:27

Was this the choice of the other couple or you? It’s their decision to make really

My decision. They were happy to go as they know my history with positive tests. The pub is very old and has lots of little rooms so it would have been just us and they know how careful we have been.

I didn't feel happy with it though.

OP posts:

Original poster

ConcernedAuntie · 24/01/2022 16:29

@Cuck00soup

If you had had covid though you would only isolate for 10 days though even with a positive PCR.

Therefore, unless you had new symptoms, I would assume you are fine.

Out of interest, are you perhaps taking medication or doing your test straight after breakfast and the reagent is reacting to the citrus fruit or your medication?

I am on medication but don't take it until after the test (usually about 9.30).

I don't eat breakfast.

OP posts:

latetothefisting · 24/01/2022 16:33

Why didn't you book a PCR earlier (i.e for yesterday or the day before) if you know this always happens?

TBH if the couple are that vulnerable they are already taking a risk by meeting in a pub so on the information you've given I would still have gone.

Original poster

ConcernedAuntie · 24/01/2022 16:34

@Topbird29

Yes, he is frustrated. For both of us. He knows how much in need of a night out we are.

Too cold here to eat outside at the moment.

Pub very old with lots of little rooms so it would have been just us (apart from wait staff) which is why we chose it.

OP posts:

CheltenhamLady · 24/01/2022 16:53

I think I would have planned better OP. Knowing your history I would have booked a PCR test in advance.

I can understand your husband being annoyed tbh.

Especially as your friends were still happy to go.

Wonnle · 24/01/2022 16:58

If you have always tested positive on the LFT it seems pretty pointless doing one again .I'd want to know the reason why that happens .

Original poster

ConcernedAuntie · 24/01/2022 18:52

@CheltenhamLady

I think I would have planned better OP. Knowing your history I would have booked a PCR test in advance.

I can understand your husband being annoyed tbh.

Especially as your friends were still happy to go.

I would have had to lie to get a PCR because I do not have any symptoms.

OP posts:

Original poster

ConcernedAuntie · 24/01/2022 18:53

@Wonnle

If you have always tested positive on the LFT it seems pretty pointless doing one again .I'd want to know the reason why that happens .

I do want to know why it is happening but no one seems to be able to tell me.

OP posts:

optimistic40 · 24/01/2022 18:56

Are they very faint positives? I keep getting faint positives since I started doing them back in October / November. I had covid in January 2021. PCRs come back negative when I do them. It's weird! I thought I had a bad batch but tested my daughter and hers was very clearly negative.

EmmaGracemum · 24/01/2022 19:01

Honestly in your situation I’d just book a PCR without symptoms. Nobody’s to know whether or not you have a sore throat. Just go for one and then you’ll know!

Persephoned · 24/01/2022 19:02

I don’t understand why you took a LFT? I sympathise but can see from your husband’s POV if you have no symptoms and for some bizarre reason you always test positive with a LFT then deciding to take one the day before meeting was going to mean it was cancelled. I would have gone for/ordered a PCR test on the grounds that I was getting unreliable LFT results

girlmom21 · 25/01/2022 08:19

I hope your husband has a nice day.

I don't know why you're repeatedly testing. If you've done your isolation period you're allowed out even if you're still testing positive

Original poster

ConcernedAuntie · 25/01/2022 11:37

@optimistic40

Yes, always faint but definitely there.

The first three were on the nose and throat swabs (August and September), the other 6 since then were Flowflex. Unfortunately after having trawled around local chemists I haven't been able to get another brand. DHs always clearly negative.

I stupidly thought that if I more or less isolated for two weeks before (ie, no yoga, no zumba, no gym and I didn't do my volunteering, only did my riding) that I would feel confident that I could not have picked anything up and would be OK to go out. Again, stupidly, I couldn't help myself and did test. Once that line came up again I couldn't in all conscious go out, though there is virtually zero chance of me actually being positive.

OP posts:

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